


Shards of Ice and Sparks of Fire

by nuttinonice



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Figure Skater Keith (Voltron), Figure Skater Shiro (Voltron), First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, It's not graphic but there is mentions of blood, M/M, Masturbation, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SHEITH - Freeform, Smut, There's an injury where Keith gets his scar, Virgin Keith (Voltron), btw the sexual assault tag is strictly for keith telling the story of his past trauma, figure skating AU, outting, some homophobia, theres just gonna be Drama, this fic sounds angstier than it is i promise, this might sound like a slow burn but its not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2020-08-19 14:24:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 54,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20211232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttinonice/pseuds/nuttinonice
Summary: It sounds harsh. There was no huge falling out, no big fight. They’d trained together closely as juniors and Shiro took Keith under his wing, being three years older. They were close friends, but then Shiro debuted as a senior, switched coaches, and moved to Japan. Keith was angry for a long time for reasons he doesn’t like to think about, but he moved on. They don’t talk anymore. People just grow apart when life takes them in different directions and, besides, he’s sure Shiro didn’t know what was going on at their old rink. For the sake of his mental health, he’d decided to quit blaming Shiro for leaving. There wasn’t any way he could have known what was happening to Keith back then. He hadn’t breathed a word about it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I 100% decided to write this after reading Wild Card so shout out for niche sport AU inspo!! 
> 
> I'm expecting this to be about?? 5? long chapters? We shall see!
> 
> If you want to see the progams Keith and Shiro are doing I linked them in this thread: https://twitter.com/nuttinonice/status/1128474776736022529 
> 
> Keith's free skate is missing but it's going to be essentially a competitive version of Johnny Weir's "Creep" routine if anyone wants to look it up for a visual.
> 
> EDIT : This fic is dedicated entirely to Justin @wack9843. Thank you for inspiring me to keep writing it. Thank you for lifting me up when I thought it wasn't going anywhere. Thank you for always being a spark of kindness in the world. I'm pledging to finish this fic for you, bud. Silly as it sounds, I hope you can look down on us and read it.

“Keith, you can do better than that!”

“I’m still warming up.” Keith groans, dusting the ice off the back of his leggings from the last fall. He’s five minutes into practice, but it feels like he’s been at the rink an hour already.

“Improper lutz edges are no way to overtake Shirogane.” Coran tuts and Keith rolls his eyes, stopping to stretch his arms as the other skaters whiz pass him. A kingdom he’d give for some private ice time. Coran knows what he’s doing though. The best way to kick a lethargic Keith into full gear is a quick mention of known frenemy, Takashi Shirogane, or Shiro as Keith used to call him.

Takashi Shirogane, Olympic gold medalist, two-time World Champion, seven time Grand Prix medalist, the former golden boy of team USA until he used his dual citizenship to compete for Japan. Keith may have overtaken his spot as the number one American male, but he’s still sitting at number two in the world rankings. It’s an incredible rank, but he isn’t a fan of the large gap between him and Shiro. Occasionally, Keith even slips down to third or fourth overall, but they’re competing in a deep field. It’s to be expected. 

Except last season, he held on to second, even overtook Shiro once at a Grand Prix assignment. This season could be all his with a little good luck and determination. He just has to win over his former best friend. 

It sounds harsh. There was no huge falling out, no big fight. They’d trained together closely as juniors and Shiro took Keith under his wing, being three years older. They were close friends, but then Shiro debuted as a senior, switched coaches, and moved to Japan. Keith was angry for a long time for reasons he doesn’t like to think about, but he moved on. They don’t talk anymore. People just grow apart when life takes them in different directions and, besides, he’s sure Shiro didn’t know what was going on at their old rink. For the sake of his mental health, he’d decided to quit blaming Shiro for leaving. There wasn’t any way he could have known what was happening to Keith back then. He hadn’t breathed a word about it. 

Keith waits for the rink to clear enough and allows himself a few power crossovers, relishing in the sound of his blades scraping over the ice as he builds speed, momentum, turns backwards on one foot before hammering the other down to launch up and rotate. He sticks his tongue out at Coran when he lands out of the perfect quad lutz and skates towards center ice to practice his spins. He’s pretty famous for his flexibility and he’s excited to keep pushing his positioning to new difficulties. Every fraction of a point counts if he’s got his eye on World Champion.

Coran drills him hard that day, but it keeps him focused. Something he loves about the ice is that while every fall hurts, it’s a tolerable pain. It’s an ache that he can skate off, that pushes him forward to try again and do better. He has to bring the quadruple jumps if he wants to win and he’s got to bring them flawlessly. If it means falling on his ass fifty times a day so be it. 

He leaves the rink bruised but satisfied, walking back to his apartment in the LA heat. It’s always a stark contrast competing as a winter athlete in southern California, but hey. Coran is one of the best in the world and if he’s located in Los Angeles, so is Keith. 

He scrolls his phone as he walks up the stairs, muscle memory carrying him up to the fourth floor without tripping. He gets news alerts for all of his competitors this time of the year, mostly just to see everyone’s music and theme announcements, but when he opens the app this time he’s flooded with notifications all about one person.

Takashi Shirogane Affirms Homosexual Rumors

The Golden Boy Of Figure Skating Pulled Out of the Closet

Team Japan Scandalized By Top Skater’s Leaked Messages

Well holy shit. Keith opens the first story as he unlocks his apartment and shuts himself inside, eyes still glued to his screen as he drops his equipment by the door and flops down on the couch to read. Kosmo comes over to lay down on the floor beside him, whimpering for his bowl to be filled, but Keith will have to get to it in a few minutes.

The articles sound like any gay athlete’s worst nightmare, or close to it. Shiro’s iCloud was hacked and while no “unsavory photos” were uncovered, there were things like conversation screenshots. Some romantic, but at least non-sexual. Keith recognized the background that gave the messages away though. They were Grindr DM’s. His heart sinks in his chest reading the statement Shiro shared with the press. 

“ I’m proud of who I am. Nothing will shame me for that, but my personal life is personal. To have private information reveal something that takes the focus away from my skating is shameful. I will be competing this season as I always have. I hope your headlines focus on my scores and not who I may or may not be romantically involved with.”

Damn. Keith chews his cheek as he reads it. He’s out of the closet himself, but it’s different for him. He lives in Los Angeles, competes for the States. He came out on his own terms back when he was a junior, in part because of Shiro’s support. He still remembers back when they were friends when Keith had bawled his pre-teen eyes out in a locker room. “What are they going to say when they find out I like boys? How do I tell my mom? I’ll be a stereotype.” Shiro had soothed all those fears, told him none of it mattered, that his mom would love him, that he wasn’t any less of a great athlete. 

They’d talked a lot about it and one of Keith’s biggest comforts was knowing Shiro liked boys too. He’d been so young and afraid then and Shiro encouraged him to come out. Seeing these headlines hit him right in the gut because Keith knew Shiro’s own philosophy. He had no shame in being gay, but he hated his personal life getting press attention. He didn’t want to come out to the public unless he was getting married was what he’d told Keith when they were kids. Now the choice got taken from him, all for what? Some tabloid gossip?

He has Shiro’s phone number. It’s gone unused for years, but for the first time in ages, Keith hovers over it. Does Shiro have close friends in Japan? Does he have someone to talk to? His parents passed when they were young, both of them, around the same time Keith lost his dad. What if Shiro’s dealing with all this alone? 

The crumb of resentment in his gut swells for a moment as he considers. Where was he for you when he left you in that rink with that coach? Where was he when you were dealing with that all alone? Keith has to picture his therapist, Colleen, in his head for a minute to shake those thoughts away, but he does it and hits the text bubble icon, intent on doing the right thing and firing off a quick ‘hey it’s been a while, but are you okay?’ text when his phone rings and startles him out of his mental text drafting. 

“Coran?” Keith frowns as he answers the call and brings the phone to his ear. 

“Keith! Did you see the news?”

“About Shiro being outted? Yeah, it’s horrible.”

“Well I’ve got some positive, but potentially awkward news.”

“...Huh?”

“Seems the training environment over there isn’t too uh… receptive to this big reveal. So where better to train than the home of world famous openly gay athlete Keith Kogane!” Coran whoops. “Get used to your new teammate, Kiddo.”

“Shiro’s coming to train under you ?” Keith’s eyebrows raise. “His thing is ballet and grace and all that shit. You’re known for letting me skate to ACDC.”

“I can work with any skater’s style thank you very much. Yours just happens to be quite edgy.”

Keith rolls his eyes. 

“Anywho, he’ll be here by the end of the week. Are you going to be able to train around your biggest competition, or do I need to put you two on opposite schedules?”

“It’s fine, I can train with him. We were friends back in the day.”

“And you’ve held back on this juicy history with the world’s number one? Anyways, play nice when he gets here. Poor lad sounds like he’s really going through it as you kids say.”

“Is Lance teaching you slang again?”

“I’m getting good at it! Come to practice with a positive attitude and this season should be lit .”

“I’m gonna go, Coran.” Keith sighs, laying back on the couch and kicking his legs up on the armrest. He hangs up the call and goes back to iMessage to follow through on his earlier plan, but Shiro’s beaten him to the punch.

New Message: Shiro

Hey. It’s been a while .

* * * * *

It’s the first real conversation they’ve had since Keith was 14. There’s a familiarity that only comes with history. It’s the same reason they’ve always been able to wave at each other naturally when they meet on the ice. Even if they’re not friends right now, they once were closer to each other than anyone else and it appears, in Shiro’s time of need, Keith is somehow the person he still reaches for. 

They don’t text for long, but Keith finds himself hanging on every word. 

Shiro

I can’t believe you were able to come out back then

I know I talked a big game but geeze it’s so much harder than I thought it’d be

Keith

At least they didn’t leak your nudes

Shiro

Yet

Keith

Hey people would pay good money for an Olympic dick pic

Shiro

Olymp-dick

Keith

And here I was thinking you’d matured in all this time

Shiro

Call it a coping mechanism

Keith smacks himself for blushing. He blames it on his perpetual virginity, a result of rigorous training and exhaustion that keeps him from having the energy, nevermind the time, for romance. Not to mention there’s few people willing to deal with the baggage he comes with, but despite all the apprehensions he has about sex, he does get a little desperate from time to time. Plus, being honest, he definitely had a bit of a puppy love type crush on Shiro back in the day. His heart fluttering now is just a result of a little nostalgia and being way too horny than any twenty year old should be. He doesn’t have any real feelings or anything, there’s just… a lot of memories.

Keith

When do you get here for training?

Shiro

Two days 

My coach here lost his mind over the news so I’m coming soon as I can

Keith

Well everyones gay over here no one will give u shit at least

Come join pride on ice

Shiro

*does an exhibition skate in drag*

Kidding

Keith

You’ll fit right in

Shiro

I hope so

Have to get going. I’ll see you in LA soon. 

Keith

Fly safe golden boy

Shiro

Will do firecracker

Thanks for being cool with me after how long its been

I’ll see you soon

Firecracker . Keith’s blushing. No one’s called him that since his junior days. He’d forgotten all about it in favor of his media nickname ‘cherry bomb.’ It was in part due to his “fiery presence” on the ice, but mostly because of a hideous red costume he’d worn one junior season. He likes firecracker better. He likes the memory of how it sounds in Shiro’s voice and his heart gives a shameful thump at the thought of hearing it again soon. 

Two days. Two days until he’s skating side by side with his former best friend, his biggest enemy on the ice, someone he used to and seems to still somehow care about. Maybe it’ll be good for him. 

He peels himself off the sofa and drags his feet through his room to the adjoined bathroom, locking all doors for a sense of privacy as he strips out of his clothes and turns the showerhead on. It’s hard to picture training alongside Shiro again. Texting is apparently comfortable, but he doesn’t know if it’ll feel the same face to face. All their in person encounters since Shiro’s departure have just been friendly waves and some small talk on interview panels post-competition.

The media has tried to cause heat between them plenty before. Keith is known for edgier routines. He skates to classic rock, Muse, classical guitar pieces. Shiro is a powerhouse jumping machine, but despite his muscular appearance, he gives soft, graceful performances, skating mostly to swelling classical music, classic war horse songs like Turandot or anything from Moulin Rouge. They’re fire and ice, but they get along too well to sell the story.

He steps into the shower and shuts the glass door behind him, sighing as he tips his head forward to soak his hair with hot water. Nothing feels better than a hot shower after a day of ice burns. People give him shit for never showering in the locker room, but he could care less what other people think. Colleen’s told him a million times. He can do whatever he wants to make himself feel safe and comfortable. Anyone who judges him for it can fuck themselves. 

At least if Shiro’s anything like he used to be, which it seems he is, judging from their text exchange, he won’t tease him for anything. Shit, if they’re friends again, Keith feels embarrassed to admit it, but it’d be nice to have that back. He loves his friends and of course Coran is a great coach, but no one’s ever made him feel quite as comfortable as Shiro has. He never had to worry about Shiro telling an offensive joke that would hit a secret nerve, never had to explain anything to him if he had a boundary. Having that again would be nice to say the least, but he’s getting too ahead of himself. 

Don’t get caught up in your stupid memories of him. It’s been years. He’s coming to you to train with your coach, not to be your best friend again . Keith grabs the shampoo and takes some deep breaths as he works it into his hair. Part of him can maybe hope though. As long as it isn’t a distraction from his training, it would be nice to have a friend like Shiro again.

He rinses his hair out and bites his lip as he reaches down to do what he normally does in the shower, trying to push thoughts of his old friend out of his head as he wraps a hand around himself.

He fails.

His shower sessions are a small part of a long list of things Keith does to sleep through the night. He rubs one out, soaks in the shower a while longer then goes through the motions.

He shuts all the doors, lets Kosmo sleep on the foot of the bed after feeding him dinner. He puts on a white noise machine, does a short meditation - a practice he’d resisted for years - and takes a small dose of melatonin. It works most nights. It soothes his anxiety, allows him to only occasionally wake during the night when he has to pee. He falls asleep in a good mood tonight, thinking about what Shiro’s presence might entail and how he might be getting back so many of the things he’d missed from their old friendship. Regardless of how he falls asleep though, he can’t always stop the nightmares.

He’s in the locker room again as soon as he drifts off. Not the one he knows now, but the old one. That locker room. 

“Now you won’t tell anyone else about this, will you?”

“N-No, Coach.”

“All your teammates would be jealous that you’re getting special treatment. They’d hate you. You’re the best I have, that’s why you get this special time with me, Keith. You’re special. You can’t let others know just how special you are.”

“I-I won’t tell.”

“That’s right you won’t. You want to get to the Olympics one day, don’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I can get you there. But you have to return my favor.”

“O-Okay.”

“Good boy, Keith. Stand a little wider.”

Keith jolts up with a gasp, chest heaving as Kosmo licks at his hand to wake him up. He’s shaking, his shirt stuck to his skin with sweat and his pajama pants soaked with the more humiliating symptom of his night terrors. He forces himself to take a deep breath, lets the tears that are welled up roll down his cheeks, and pets Kosmo until he comes down a little, listening to the white noise machine as he breathes.

It takes a few minutes, but he shakes it off, gets up to change his clothes and remake the bed, putting the damp sheets and old pajamas into the wash before turning on his bedside lamp and retreating back to bed for the night. 

“Thanks, boy.” Keith sighs as he lays next to Kosmo in bed, remade with spare sheets and a blanket. Honestly, he swears these episodes hinder his love life more than the actual trauma does. Sure, the bedwetting is rare. It probably doesn’t happen more than once a month at most, but the embarrassment is enough to make him always book single hotel rooms for competitions and avoid sleeping over at anyone else’s place at all costs. Ever. Even if it didn’t happen, just a nightmare alone would probably be enough to scare the shit out of someone. He doesn’t want to know what he says, but he knows he talks in his sleep.

He’s got early morning practice, so no time to go on his phone for a while tocalm down. Instead, he leaves the light on and settles in next to Kosmo with the hope he’s done with nightmares for the night. 

It’s a restless sleep, but he stays down until morning. 

When he wakes up, he throws last night’s laundry into the dryer, downs some black coffee and a protein bar for breakfast and then it’s off to the rink again.

On the walk to the rink this time, he finds himself feeling anxious, but it’s not for the usual reason. He wants these two days to pass. He wants to see Shiro and find out if he’s getting his childhood best friend back, or if they’ll be the same stoic competitors they’ve been for the past several years, polite, but not really connected.

For all he knows Shiro was in a moment of weakness last night. He reached out to Keith, another gay man who was close enough for him to talk to and might understand how he was feeling. Keith might not be anything more to him than that. All these questions he’s having could be for nothing, but then he feels his phone buzz in his back pocket and pulls it out to find an Instagram notification. Shiro’s DM’ing him cat memes. Literal cat memes, like it’s 2008.

Huh. Keith won’t call this the reigniting of a crush. He refuses to acknowledge the blush on his cheeks as he searches for a meme to send back to him and then ignores the way his heart thumps when he does find one and Shiro reads it immediately. But maybe he isn’t crazy. Shiro is reaching out and this could be the first good thing to happen to him off the ice in a long time.

Eager as he may be though, the next two days crawl by. Each hour drags, each minute feels like ten. He distracts himself with training, giving it his all on the ice and heading to dance class afterwards. He doesn’t know why he’s this excited, but he’ll take it. It’s been a while since he’s been eager for something that isn’t a competition. 

Maybe it’s just the thought of training time gaining a bit of a social element. Sometimes, he prefers to be a lone wolf, but he still likes talking to people who aren’t assholes and if memory serves him right, Shiro’s not one. If they’re training together, it won’t matter that he has no free time - yet another element on a long list of things that have prevented him from having a relationship or a close friendship for so long. 

They keep texting. Coran takes his phone away for the duration of practice the day before Shiro arrives just to get him on task and when Keith gets it back at the end of the session, there’s two messages from Shiro that makes his heart pound too hard to deny. That old puppy love crush is creeping back one text at a time. Keith will try to stifle it with everything he’s got, but God. It feels kind of nice. 

New Message: Shiro

I’m actually really excited to see you again

New Message: Shiro

I missed you, Keith

* * * * * 

“You seem awfully excited.” Coran muses as Keith stands at the edge of the rink, leaning on the barrier to check his phone. “Is this Shiro a… romantic past of yours?”

“No.” Keith scowls. “We were friends.”

“And you never told me this because?”

“Because it wasn’t relevant.”

“Well I would have been nicer talking about all the ways you could beat him if I knew you were friends.” Coran pouts. “Don’t tell him.”

“I won’t.” Keith rolls his eyes and refreshes his texts again. “When is he supposed to get here?”

Coran wiggles his eyebrows. 

“This isn’t very professional of you, you know.”

“If you want professionalism, I’ll take that phone again and make you run your flip ten more times.”

Keith’s shoulders slump, but he cedes Coran’s point and puts his phone down on the barrier to get back to work. “Just flag me down when he’s here. I wanna say hi.”

“Alrighty then, lover boy. Hit the ice.”

Keith gives him a side eye and skates off before anyone can see him blushing. Jesus, has he really been alone long enough that he’s acting like a schoolgirl over this? His heart is thumping at the thought of Shiro coming to the rink soon, but he focuses. He can’t let it throw him off his game. If he does, they’ll just end up separated. 

The thought actually gives him a new spark of motivation. He lands his next three quads, gets back to work on his step sequence and he can feel that his speed is improving. He’s always been known for his fire, so it’s reassuring every time he finds it’s still burning. He hates waking up early for morning practice, but the ice is emptier. He has more space to focus on power in his jumps. He distracts himself well enough with hard practice until he hears Coran’s wolf whistle and skids to a halt, his heart in his throat as he looks over. 

Shiro gives a shy smile and an equally shy wave hello from where he’s standing ice-side with Coran. Keith hopes he can chalk his blush up to the cold. He looks both ways, making sure to not get in the way of Allura’s fan spiral as he skates to the edge and grabs his guards. He fumbles the plastic sleeves onto his blades and walks over, his mouth suddenly dry and he’s now far too aware of how hard he’d been sweating out there. Would Shiro be able to see sweat stains on a black t shirt?

“Hey Keith.” Shiro says, that cute little smile still on his face. He’s got a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and he’s in typical practice clothes, but with his build - buffer than the average figure skater - it leaves nothing to the imagination. Black leggings and a black Adidas shirt. Keith forgot he’s sponsored by practically everything. “I was, uh, just talking to Coran about getting started.”

“Hey.” Keith blinks, channeling all of his focus into not glancing down at the very not subtle bulge those leggings are showing off. What’s the matter with him? “You um, you got a program put together yet?”

“I do!” Shiro beams. “I’m actually really excited about it. You’ll be excited, I’m skating to some actual music by your standards this time.”

“Yeah?” Keith cocks an eyebrow. He remembers the usual teasing they used to give each other. Keith always made fun of him a little for only skating to classical, war horses, or musicals. He prefers music with words, the kind that people actually listen to, but it’s just teasing. Shiro’s programs are artistic perfection. “What’d you go with?”

“My free is set to Coldplay and my short is Parisienne Walkways.”

“Coming for my brand?” Keith laughs and secretly loves how the joke makes Shiro’s face flash a little pink.

“Guitar solo pieces are more your thing, aren’t they? I’m trying to branch out a bit.” Shiro grins and Keith swears that smile could light the whole rink for a week.

“Hm.” Coran blinks and looks back and forth between the two of them. “So you two do know each other well.”

“We go back a bit.” Shiro says, still bashful as he looks over at Keith. “You have your programs?”

“Prince for the short, Radiohead for the free.”

“Sounds like you.”

“Can you lads catch up on your own time?” Coran waves a hand in front of Keith’s face and he sticks his tongue out. “Shiro, we’ve got a lot of work to do. Keith get back to it.”

Keith rolls his eyes a little and slips the band off his wrist so he can tie his hair back in a ponytail. “Will do.”

“We can chat a little after practice if you want.” Shiro says just as he turns back towards the ice. 

“Sounds good, Shiro.” Keith finds that the smile he gives him comes naturally. He’s usually forcing himself to smile at people, but this old friendship is bringing things back to him. He’s comfortable. “Catch you later.” It feels cheesy when he says it, but he doesn’t let it show, walking off and stepping back onto the ice to try and get his mind on practice again. He’s really buzzing just from that one conversation. He really, really can’t let this turn into a crush, but he can enjoy having his former best friend around again. There’s a familiarity there that he just doesn’t have with his casual friends around the rink. It’s something that only comes with history. 

Luckily, Shiro is off the ice for most of his practice time, just discussing things with Coran, but when it’s time for short program run throughs, his heart starts hammering. How developed is Shiro’s program? Will it be as good as his others? Most importantly, Keith needs to know if it’s something he has a fighting chance against this season.

He’s the first one up as everyone clears the ice. It’s casual, a normal part of practice, where everyone takes a turn on the ice to run through their full program without the interference of other skaters, but it’s a little nerve wracking having Shiro watching. Not just because of their relationship to each other, but Shiro’s the biggest competition in the world. It’s different performing in front of him at a routine practice than it is in front of a judge panel and a referee. 

When his music starts, it comes easy enough. Let’s Go Crazy by Prince. They’re focusing on showcasing a little more sex appeal this season and his choreography is a little… provocative. He feels his face turn pink as he goes through the motions. He glides on the ice to the opening voice over of the song, trying to focus more on his technique and less on who’s watching. 

It goes well enough. The moves are sexy and he lands the opening quad loop with a surprising amount of ease. He feels confident, even grinning a bit as he hits every accent on the music, flies into his spins at high speeds. This could be a program that kicks Shiro’s ass if all goes well. 

His musicality is better than ever. He’s more flexible than last season and he loves the music so much, his passion really shines through. 

When the program ends, he hits his ending pose panting. He feels like it went well, but when the dizziness subsides from his final spin, he sees Shiro watching from the rinkside bleachers with the rest of his teammates. His face is bright red, eyes blown wide. Keith can see it from center ice. 

Whatever spurs him to do it, Keith is thankful because the way he sees Shiro gulp when he reaches up and lets his hair down makes his heart thump. 

“Great job, Keith!” Coran hollers. “You perform your free skate like that and the grand prix final podium is yours. Now hop off the ice.”

Keith does as he’s told, grabbing his water bottle and popping his guards back on before he walks over to plop down next to Shiro. “It’s good, yeah?”

“It’s great , Keith.” Shiro blinks, still staring out at the ice. “I mean that was… That was a new level for you. I can’t believe it.”

“Feeling threatened?”

“Yeah.” Shiro laughs. “I really am. I guess we’ll finally have a real short program battle if we’re both doing rock routines. The press will love it.”

“They’ve really been waiting for this one, yeah.” Keith chuckles a little before falling quiet when Allura takes center ice. As much as talking to Shiro seems to fill his chest with butterflies, he doesn’t want to talk over his friends’ performances either. 

Allura skates beautifully to a Cinderella themed program. Then it’s Pidge’s fast paced river dance and Lance’s God forsaken Justin Timberlake routine. Keith starts to wonder if Shiro will be going at all, given it’s his first day, but once everyone else has gone, Coran waves Shiro over and cocks his head towards the ice. He’s up. 

“It’s still really new and unpolished because of all the drama and the coaching change.” Shiro winces as he stands up. “So um… Take it with a grain of salt, it’s gonna be better before the season starts.”

“I’m sure it’s great, Shiro. Don’t sweat it.” Keith says, a little torn between hoping he does well and hoping the program isn’t anything too spectacular - something he can beat if he skates clean.

Shiro takes center ice and Keith chews his lip, wondering how Shiro will look skating to a guitar piece.

The music starts and Shiro glides forward with ease, rolling his body with the smooth guitar as he moves through his elements. 

Oh God. Oh God . He’s hot . Keith feels his face flame as he watches Shiro land a perfect quad salchow. He loves the music and not only does Shiro dance flawlessly to it, but Jesus, it looks like he’s trying to go for sex appeal this season too. His movements are usually sensual, but they don’t come across so blatantly sexy when he’s skating to light violin and piano. This though ? Keith has to cross his legs. 

Shiro lands a triple axel and Keith lets out a breath. This is him “rusty?” He looks like he could win the Olympics with this as he lunges in time with the music. It’s well rounded, exciting, high technical content with artistry to match. Keith will have to give it everything he’s got to give Shiro a run for his money and as of right now, he’s already sweating and trying to hide half a boner. What the fuck is wrong with him?

Keith watches Coran talk to Shiro as he comes off the ice and sighs. This is going to be harder than he thought. Not only is he working with his biggest enemy on the ice and one of the closest friends he’s ever had, but he’s undeniably turned on by him. That routine should be rated R. Maybe he shouldn’t be trying to reconnect with Shiro again if he’s going to get distracted like this.

“What’d you think?” Shiro asks and Keith jerks out of his daze. 

“It was great.” Keith gulps. “R-Really good, you should use music like that more often.”

“Yeah?” He beams, eyes lighting up as he sits next to him again. “I was worried you might think it was actually a little derivative of what you’re known for-”

“It’s not.” Keith answers honestly. “You move differently and look differently. It’s your own interpretation and um… I think it’s kind of awesome.”

“I’m glad.” Shiro says and Keith hates how those words don’t sound cheesy coming out of his mouth. “When does your practice session end?”

“Couple hours.”

“Me too, do you want to maybe grab a cup of coffee after?” Shiro looks nervous somehow. “You’re uh… sort of the only person I know in this city.”

“Sure.” Keith feels the goofy grin spread across his face before he can stop it. “We can catch up.”

“God, we’ve got a lot of that to do.” Shiro says, turning back towards the ice as he stretches his arms out. Keith catches Pidge wiggling her eyebrows at him out of the corner of his vision and waves her off. His teammates aren’t gonna let him hear the end of this even if he can see them all fawning over Shiro too. He is the world’s number one after all.

* * * * *

“There’s a coffee shop on every block, but this one’s mine.” Keith smiles when he leads Shiro inside the café. They’ve both got duffel bags slung over their shoulder, but they’d left the rink together to go straight to their coffee meet-up. Keith doesn’t want to be stupid and call it a date, but his heart’s hammering like he’s on one.

“Coran lets you drink coffee?” Shiro blinks up at the menu painted onto the black wall above the counter, hipsters buzzing around them as Keith lets Shiro take in the scene. 

“You can drink whatever you want. Coran doesn’t set our diets.” Keith frowns. “You weren’t even allowed to drink coffee?” He knows diet dictation is common and that some coaches truly starve their skaters, but he didn’t know Shiro was under so many restrictions with how muscular he is. Coran gives recommendations, not enforcements.

“Nothing but water, I um… I actually don’t really know what any of this stuff is.”

Keith sees Shiro’s cheeks turn pink at the admission and his heart thumps. Why the fuck are you so cute? “I can order for you. What do you like? Sweet?”

Shiro’s eyes light up like Keith’s offered him the moon. “If Coran seriously doesn’t get pissed, um… Y-Yeah, get me something sweet. I’ll pay, just order for me if you don’t mind.”

“You don’t have to pay.” Keith rolls his eyes even if he knows Shiro’s checking account probably eclipses his own, but he wants to be polite. Shiro’s going through a tough time and everything. They’re old friends, he can buy him a sugary cup of coffee. “Come.” He cocks his head towards the barista and leads Shiro up to the counter, digging his meager wallet out of his bag as he looks up at the menu. “Uh, I’ll take a flat white and a hazelnut frappé for the big guy.” He says as he hands over his credit card. 

“And you’re together?”

“Huh?” Keith blinks. “Wha…”

“The two of you. Same order?”

“Oh!” Keith feels his face flush as he stammers out a ‘yes’ and swipes his card. Christ, when Pidge called him a gay disaster last week at the bar, he rolled his eyes, but she’s fucking on to something. He tries to recover by quickly leading them to a small table in the back corner. “So um… I mean, you know, I saw the news and I know why you switched and everything. Are you… okay?” He winces, not knowing if it’s right to bring it up, or if he should be ignoring it, pretending nothing’s really going on. “Sorry if I shouldn’t be asking.”

“No it’s okay. I mean, I know how long it’s been, but you’re probably the only person I’m comfortable talking about this with.” Shiro says, picking at a crack in the wood of the table to keep his eyes cast down. “It’s just that, you know, I kinda have the same feeling I’ve had since we were juniors together. I didn’t want to come out unless I was getting married. I don’t want headlines about my personal life even if I am proud of being gay, but the choice was just completely taken from me. My whole team turned on me, my coach. I mean they looked at me like I was some kind of monster.” His face loses its glow as he speaks, eyes still transfixed on the table.

“Jesus, I’m really sorry.” Keith grimaces. “I know coming out on your terms was important to you.”

“Yeah.” Shiro swallows, blinking fast as he looks up at him. “Sorry I’m kind of clinging to you, I’m just all on my own now and it’s kind of scary. I haven’t lived in the States for a while and with all this going on… At least I know you, you know? I mean I never stopped thinking of you as a friend, it was just hard to keep in touch and with the way the media tries to spark drama between us-”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We were kids and we went different ways.” He shrugs, trying not to remember how long it took him to see things that way. “It happens. I’m not gonna ditch you now that you’re here and going through all this shit.”

“Thanks, Keith.” Shiro breathes, looking at him with the softest smile and his cute little hair floof hanging almost in his eyes. Keith isn’t going to survive this. “I was wondering if-”

“Flat white and a hazelnut frappé.” A waitress interrupts, putting the cups in front of each of them. Keith’s heart hiccups at how Shiro’s eyes light up just looking at the frothy drink and he forgets what they were even talking about. He’s so precious . If all the fans that look to him as some kind of sex icon knew how sweet and shy he was, they’d probably lose their minds. Keith’s already losing his.

“Wow.” Shiro sighs after one sip. “That is… more sugar than I think I’ve had in years.”

“Enjoy it.” Keith laughs. “I mean, skating’s not worth it if you have to give up every other little thing that makes you happy, you know? That can even include, you know, the gay thing too. This whole thing sucks, but at least you can be yourself now.”

“That is a nice way to look at it.” Shiro says before groaning around another sip. The sound does something to Keith that makes him cross his legs. Shiro has a little whipped cream mustache when he sets the mug down and Keith shivers watching him lick it off. “Coran showed me the practice schedule and it looks like we’ll be on the ice at the same times most of the week. Are you okay with that? I know we’re kind of each other’s biggest competition, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“If you were someone else, maybe, but I don’t mind at all.” Keith says before taking a sip of his own drink. It’s too hot, but he resists the urge to wince and talks more instead. “Plus, the more I watch you, the more I get to know your game. You better watch out.” He teases and relishes in the sweet sound of Shiro’s laugh. His determination to not call this a crush is quickly out the window, replaced with a determination not to act on it. 

“You gonna hit me in the knee with a pipe?”

“Too 80’s for me.” Keith snickers, leaning his head on his hand as he looks at the birth mark on Shiro’s nose. It’s so unique and the pink color looks nice on his tan skin. Only this guy could make a facial birthmark look handsome, but here he is. “Are you my Nancy Kerrigan?”

“Your music choice is a little more Tonya I’d say.” Shiro laughs again and Keith’s heart flutters. “Your program today was really, really good Keith. Will I get to see your free tomorrow?”

“Probably. I’m a little scared to see what you have in store.”

“It’s nothing, still in the works.” Shiro shrugs his shoulders and drains the rest of his coffee. “God, that is so good . I can’t believe I can eat this stuff now and then here.”

“It’s a way better training environment than you were in. You’ll be happier here.” Keith says, remembering the old days of diet plans and near-starvation. Of course that had been the least of what made their coaching environment toxic before, but still. Keith would never go back to that and he’s glad Shiro’s finally away from the culture of never eating right. 

They stay a while longer, making small talk and telling jokes. Keith can’t remember the last time someone made him laugh as easily as Shiro does. Not to say he doesn’t love his friends and teammates, but it pales in comparison to the sheer comfort of talking to him again. He feels incredible. 

They finally part ways with a hug that sends sparks up Keith’s spine and a promise from Shiro that he’ll stay off social media. In the short hour they’d spent having coffee, there’s dozens of homophobic hate comments that have gone up over his top posts.

Keith feels like he’s walking on air when he heads back to his apartment. The hug left him feeling warm and the conversation left him feeling so excited. He’s got it bad. He won’t act on it - it would be a huge scandal and a stupid move for his career to distract himself like that - but he’ll enjoy the feeling. He’ll enjoy the tingles when they brush against each other, enjoy getting to talk to Shiro. He’s allowed that much. 

He doesn’t really feel guilty, or ashamed until he’s in his apartment, stripped down as he waits for the shower to get hot. He’s a little… excited, to say the least. Watching Shiro skate up close in those tight clothes, those groans he kept letting out as he drank his coffee. It’s got him all keyed up. 

It doesn’t really count. If no one knows about it, what’s the harm? It’s just a fantasy. Fantasies don’t hurt anyone.

He steps in behind the curtain, lets the hot water run over him and warm his skin as he bites his lip and reaches down. “Fuck.” He wonders how big Shiro’s dick is, judging by the size of that bulge in his leggings. How does he get away with wearing that? He strokes himself with a tight grip and sighs as he pictures it. Shiro shirtless with that chiseled torso, the incredible curve of his ass. What does he look like completely naked? Soon he’s picturing him in nothing but skates and he’s leaking pre-come like he’s a teenager again, already close from just a sexy thought. 

He wonders what it would be like to suck Shiro off, if he would sound the same way he did moaning at the taste of sugar, or if he’d be breathier, whinier, desperate. He wonders how it would feel to be in control, thinks he might be less scared fooling around with Shiro than the anxiety he’s always gotten with past casual boyfriends. He thumbs his tip and moans at the thought of what Shiro would taste like. 

This is so dirty. He’s about to come at the fantasy of someone he hasn’t thought of deeply in years, someone he’s about to start seeing again every day, someone who’s his friend. It feels wrong and fucked up, but so good . He imagines Shiro’s mouth falling open, how he would look having an orgasm, and then he’s coming against the shower wall with a moan the pleasure punches straight out of his gut. It’s more than he usually releases, more intense than his typical orgasm. It’s incredible. 

But then he lifts his head, lets the water wash the evidence away and takes a deep breath. Shit. He’s a pervert.

He washes his hair and runs a soaped up loofah over his body in a half assed way to finish up the shower before hopping out and drying off enough to grab his phone. He has a group chat with Pidge and Allura for exactly this type of situation, so he fires up a text. 

Girl Squad Chat

Can you guys come over tonight? #Emergency

It takes just a few seconds and a flurry of emojis for them to let him know they’re on their way and he sighs. What on Earth is he going to do about all this? He changes quickly and heads out to the kitchen to grab a snack and feed Kosmo, scratching him behind the ears as an apology for being late. 

At least Pidge and Allura will have advice, although he knows they’re about to clown him to hell and back. Deservedly so.

He flops down on the couch and kicks his feet up, turning the TV to something mindless until there’s a series of frantic knocks at his door. 

“WE CAME AS FAST AS WE COULD!” Pidge pants, doubled over with her hands on her knees as Allura waves hello and Kosmo comes rushing to greet her in the doorway. “What’s the emergency? It’s about Shirogane right? I can’t believe he’s at our rink now, he’s super dreamy, are you-”

“There, there.” Allura gives Pidge a pat on the back. “Let’s just let Keith tell us what the problem is.” She reaches into her dress pocket and holds up a vial of black nail polish. “Keith, you’re surrendering your hands to me while we talk.”

Keith lets them in and grabs a wine bottle with a few glasses from the kitchen before they settle into his living room. 

“Keith, I’m gonna explode if you don’t tell me whatever this tea is.” Pidge says as he fills their glasses and sits on the floor in front of them. 

“It’s a lot.” Keith grimaces, taking a sip from his glass and holding his hand out to Allura for her to paint. He doesn’t need to worry about her dripping and the couch is so old, he could care less anyways. 

“Why didn’t you tell us you knew Shiro before?” Allura frowns as she smears black over his thumbnail. “You two are practically all anyone talks about in the men’s discipline. I’d think you’d mention it.”

“We were best friends when we were juniors, then we went separate ways. No big deal, we haven’t really talked since. At least until today.” Keith shrugs. 

“And you like him?” Pidge grins. “Everyone saw you drooling during his run through. It’s already the big rink gossip, you’re always pouting, but this guy keeps making you laugh . The world’s gone upside down.”

“I mean…” Keith chews his lip. “Yeah, but I don’t wanna do anything about it. He’s going through a ton of shit right now, it would be a huge scandal, and I need to focus this season.”

“You two could be secret lovers.” Allura wiggles her eyebrows. “Romeo and Juliet on ice.”

“I don’t think he’d wanna date anyone after the outting scandal anyways.” Keith frowns. “Especially not someone else who’s high profile. And like I said, I don’t wanna act on this, I need your help avoiding it.”

“Are you going to avoid him?” Allura asks and Keith shakes his head.

“No way, I love spending time with him. It’s been forever since we’ve hung out like this.”

“Then what’s your game plan?” Pidge raises her eyebrows. “You’re just gonna hopelessly crush on the number one skater in the world and try to maintain a friendship with him?”

“I don’t want to be gross.” Keith sighs. “I think he’s just hot and I’m single. I mean, you guys saw him at the rink today. Everyone melts when he’s around.”

“But he melts in yours , dude! You’re different to that guy. The two of you were talking like a couple teenagers earlier. You look like u want to jump each other.” Pidge pouts as Allura finishes Keith’s right hand and takes his left. 

“We’re just old friends. We were excited to get caught up and I’m the only person Shiro knows here.” Keith says, blowing on his right hand to dry the polish. 

“Well I don’t know how you’re gonna make it through practice if you’re popping a boner every time the dude breathes.”

“It’s not that bad.” Keith pouts. 

“I just think you shouldn’t hide your feelings.” Allura says as she finishes up his pinky finger. “If you like him and you’ve missed him, you should tell him that. With all he’s been through lately, he might be happy to be less alone with you.”

“I can’t tell him. It’s our first day even being friends again, I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Keith.” Pidge takes a deep breath. “Do you know how many people would kill for a shot at sleeping with Takashi Shirogane? Do it for them. Solidarity.”

Keith cringes internally. He doesn’t want to let on that one of his biggest hesitations isn’t even that Shiro’s the world’s number one, or that he wants to focus and steer clear of scandal. A relationship could also mean sex and as much as he likes to fantasize about it and as much as he hopes he’ll be comfortable next time he’s fooling around with someone he likes, he just doesn’t know. Masturbation is one thing. It’s just himself, so he’s completely safe and in control, but everything else he’s tried has just made him anxious even if he wanted it. “I don’t think he wants to sleep with me, he’s just relieved to have a friend here. He doesn’t know you guys.”

“Whatever you say.” Pidge relents, downing half her wine glass in one go and dropping down to the floor, so she can reach to pet Kosmo. “Are you just gonna suffer in silence?”

“I guess.” Keith grimaces when Allura releases his hand for him to blow on. “Can you guys just keep an ear out for me? I mean if I hear that he likes me , that’s a different story, but right now I’m not looking to creep him out. He used to mean a lot to me and it was really nice having him back today. I don’t want to risk that.”

“I can’t believe you never talked about him. It seems like he means an awful lot.” Allura says as she takes her glass and settles back into the couch. “But we’ll happily be your spies.”

“This whole thing is just weird.” Keith huffs, slipping his phone out of his back pocket with his dry hand to check Twitter. It’s really just an impulse out of boredom, but then he sees his timeline flooded with replies to the statement Shiro tweeted a little while ago. It’s blowing up again. There’s a lot of love and support, but also a flood of homophobia. The hate comments are mostly the same.

@quadflutz

Idk why anyones surprised he’s a fag, half the men on ice are...

@quintuplejump

Fucking disappointing. Hope he gets knocked off the podium once and for all. Kogane all over again!

@axelcomb0

Gross. Great to know the world champ is a fucking fairy now. 

It makes Keith’s blood boil. Not just the slurs and the hatred but the fact that so many fans are willing to turn on Shiro. He’s the sweetest guy in the world. It’s like hating a puppy.

“Earth to Keith.” Pidge waves a hand in front of his face. “You with us, bud?”

“I’m so sick of these people sending Shiro hate.” Keith scowls as he starts to hammer out a reply to @quintuplejump.

“Wait, Keith are you typing?” Allura raises her eyebrows. “Coran will kill you. Don’t get involved.”

Keith waves her off and sends the tweets, smiling a little at his work. 

@ke1thkogane ✓

Man @quintuplejump its gonna be a real bummer for u when we’re both on the worlds podium.

@ke1thkogane ✓

@takashishirogane_official First step on the gay agenda : we’re gonna dominate this season.

“Oh shit.” Pidge laughs as she reads them over his shoulder. “This is gonna blow up.”

“Let it.” Keith shrugs, tossing his phone onto the sofa. “Shiro deserves someone in his corner. Might as well be another openly gay skater.”

“And his secret admirer - ouch!” Pidge pouts when Keith elbows her. “Forgive me for supporting your love.”

“Shut up.” Keith smiles as he reaches over to give Kosmo a few gentle pats. “Just pray for me at practice tomorrow.”

* * * * *

As predicted, Keith wakes up for practice in the morning to a Twitter storm. It’s been liked and retweeted over a thousand times and even a few major news outlets have run articles about the story of a ‘prominent gay figure skater’ coming to the defense of ‘another openly gay athlete.’ It makes his head spin a bit, but he doesn't regret what he said. Shiro deserves to be defended. Once he’s cleared all the social media notifications, there’s a text from him. 

Shiro

I saw what you said. It means a lot to me... I’ll see you at practice.

Huh. The formality of it confuses him a little, but that’s just Shiro. He’s being sweet. 

Keith rolls out of bed and wrestles on his practice clothes before jogging to take Kosmo out to pee and rushing right back upstairs with him. He’s eager to see Shiro at the rink, but a little less so to see Coran. There won’t be any real punishment or anything, just an earful.

He grabs his stuff and power walks the whole way to practice, heart thumping in his chest. When he walks in to the cold embrace of the rink, Shiro’s the first thing he sees, lacing up his skates ice side until he hears Keith come in and glances up. 

“Keith!” Shiro beams, stumbling up to him in his skates and yanking him into a hug. 

“Huh?” Keith’s eyes fly wide open as he fumbles to hug him back with a duffel bag over his shoulder. “I-Is this just for the tweets?”

“Of course it is.” Shiro’s grinning at him when he pulls back. “Keith, you’re the only other skater that’s defended me publicly. It means the world. I know what a shitstorm it probably caused for you. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I just couldn’t stand all those comments about you.”

“ Keith!”

Keith cringes at Coran’s shriek and swerves around to face him. “Hey Coran, I’m sorry about-”

“Don’t be!” He beams, his mustache practically bouncing as he bounds up to him. “You know I’d have your behind if you started any sort of drama, but you know we protect our skaters here. Good on you for defending your teammate.” He claps Keith on the back. “You two hit the ice, I want everyone in tip top shape for run throughs.”

“Oh.” Keith blinks as he watches him walk away. “Huh. Guess we’re fine then.”

“He knows you did something kind for me.” Shiro smiles as he sits back down on the bench to finish lacing up properly. “Come get your skates on, we can warm up together.”

“Sounds good.” Keith plops down next to him and unzips his skate bag to get his boots out, his heart light as he shoves his feet in and yanks his laces tight. He really thought he’d be dealing with drama today, but Shiro is just happy and adorable. He’s really glad he sent those tweets if it meant something to Shiro. 

“Come skate some laps with me.” Shiro grins when he stands and lifts his feet up one by one to remove his guards. “You can show me some of those crazy new spins you’ve been working on.”

“Well you know flexibility’s my main advantage over you.” Keith laughs as he stands and walks the few steps up to the ice with Shiro. “Gotta use everything I’ve got.”

“I am known to be a little uh… stiff in some aspects.” 

They step onto the ice together and make some strides around the edge of the rink. The ice is a little crowded in the morning, so Keith uses it as a little bit of an excuse to stay close. “So I take it you didn’t stay off the internet?”

“I try, but it’s hard.” Shiro huffs. “I get bored. I try not to look at the stuff, but y’know, last night I’m glad I did. It was really nice to have at least one person in the sport defend me.”

“I got your back.” Keith shrugs, turning around and gliding backwards as he looks at Shiro. He’s still got that cute smile on his face. “Hey you wanna see the Bielman I’m working on for the free?”

“You’re flexible enough for that?” Shiro’s eyes light up. “Yeah, show me.”

“Alright, get ready.” Keith teases, grinning as he continues on backwards to pick up enough speed to get into the spin. He loves the sound of his skates scraping the ice and, yeah, admittedly, he really just wants to show off in front of Shiro. He’s got enough speed, flips around to start spinning when-

“KEITH!”

There’s a common misconception about figure skates. Sure, they’re a little sharp, enough to skid across ice, but you can comfortably run your hand over a blade. They can’t slice you really , but if you happen to run face first into someone else’s free leg while they’re in the middle of an illusion spin and you’re traveling at high speed, you bet your ass a skate blade can split your skin. 

It’s exactly what happens to Keith from his jaw to his left cheek as he crashes backwards, thankfully landing on his lower back first before his head hits the ice. It’s warm. He’s warm where the blade hit him and when his vision starts to refocus and his ears stop ringing, he feels himself shaking. He’s bleeding on the ice. 

“Coran! S-Someone! Get a towel!” Shiro is kneeling beside him on the ice, his eyes blown wide. “Keith, lie still. Don’t move.”

Keith groans as the shock starts to subside and the true pain settles in. He can’t move his head without agony, but he sees dribbles of blood on the ice in his peripheral vision. He feels the ice against the bare skin of his arms, numbing his skin

“Keith, oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t see you, I-” It’s Veronica’s voice, Lance’s younger sister, still in juniors. Shit, she’s got to feel terrible and this isn’t her fault. It’s Keith’s for being cocky and distracted, wanting to show off for Shiro on a crowded practice rink.

“It’s not your fault. Collisions happen.” Shiro says and Keith is thankful he’s speaking for him in this moment. His vision is blurry and the pain in his cheek is searing. 

“How did this happen?!” It’s Coran’s voice now. Keith hears some fumbling and then feels Shiro pressing a towel against the wound to stop the bleeding. It stings, but the pressure feels nice, brings him back a little. He realizes there’s tears leaking out of his eyes. 

“Keith? Keith can you talk?” Shiro asks, leaning over him. 

“Feels like my face is split open.” Keith mumbles in a shaky voice. “I… I-I don’t know, how bad is it?”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. You need to go to the hospital.” Shiro looks up at Coran. “I have a car. Let me take him, I’ll keep you updated the whole time.”

“Go.” Coran nods and Keith groans again. The pain is truly here now. His head aches and to top it all off, he feels humiliated. He’s lying on the ice, bleeding, sort of crying, and shaking like a leaf. He’s never been injured like this before. Fuck, how long will it set him back?

“Keith, can you hold the towel? I’m gonna help you up.” Shiro says, waiting for Keith’s trembling hand to come up and hold the towel against his cheek as he gets an arm under him, helps him sit up first. “You with me?”

“Room’s spinning.” Keith shrugs, his head lolling a little to the side in search of Shiro’s shoulder, or any support. 

“Okay, be careful standing up. I got you, but you’re still on ice here.” Shiro coos, slowly rising before helping Keith to his feet too. He wraps an arm around Keith’s waist immediately, supporting him as they carefully make their way off the ice. 

Keith’s knees are wobbling, vision still blurry and he can feel the towel is warm with his blood as Shiro helps him to the bench, so he can sit. “You don’t have to do that.” He says, voice barely a whisper as Shiro kneels in front of him and unlaces his skates, gently tugging each of them off his feet. If he wasn’t currently bleeding and in excruciating pain, he’d be pretty intrigued by the image of Shiro on his knees in front of him. Right now though, he feels like he’s seconds from passing out. 

Shiro is lightning fast to unlace and yank off his skates, sliding into some sneakers and getting Keith out of his skates too before he grabs both their bags and helps Keith up, a strong arm holding him close as their rinkmates watch them.

It’s pretty much every skater’s worst nightmare. Collisions aren’t common, but they do happen, and they can be deadly serious. Keith got hit as horrifically as anyone possibly could, getting nailed in the face at full speed. 

“Take deep breaths, I know it hurts.” Shiro murmurs as they limp their way to the front doors and out into the parking lot. “I’m gonna get you to the hospital, they’ll stitch you up and you’ll be okay.”

“Nooo.” Keith groans, slumping further as Shiro takes him to the passenger side of his car. Of course it’s nice as fuck, a Dodge Charger Keith’s about to bleed all over. 

“No?”

“No stitches. No needles.” He winces as Shiro opens the door and he’s able to topple into the seat. “Fuck needles.”

“Keith, you’re gonna need pain management and stitches. It’ll be okay, I’ll be there with you.”

Keith lets out a quiet sob and curls into himself as Shiro shuts the door and rushes around to get in the driver’s seat. He can’t fucking do this. He hates hospitals. He hates needles more than anything and now Shiro’s seeing him like this - wounded, pathetic, on the verge of a panic attack just at the realization he might be getting stitches and an IV.

“Come here.” Shiro says in a soft voice, reaching over to buckle Keith’s seatbelt for him. “No one likes hospitals, but you’re really, really hurt, Keith. I’ll be right there with you. You can hold my hand if you need to.”

Keith’s mouth wobbles at that. He would really like a hand to hold right about now.

“Sit tight, we’ll be at the emergency room soon.” Shiro says, punching a few buttons on the navigation before he pulls out of the space and onto the road. 

Keith’s stomach feels sick. He’s in so much pain and it’s on his fucking face, so there’s no way to move, or position his body to ease it. On top of that, he’s crying in front of Shiro even if he’s silent. He knows Shiro notices. 

It’s not too long a drive to the hospital, but Keith feels so weak, he can barely push the button to undo his seatbelt.

“Here.” Shiro says when he opens the passenger door. “Can I carry you?”

“Fuck.” Keith tries to shake his head, but stops and grimaces. “My dignity is the one uninjured part of me right now.”

“Hey, you’re funny again.” Shiro laughs. “That’s a good sign. But seriously, you’re barefoot and bleeding, come here.” He scoops Keith up bridal style with little to no effort at all, kicking the car door shut as he carries him towards the ER. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than ever.” Keith grumbles. “You should get your face slashed some time. Feels great.”

“Ha ha, Mister.” Shiro teases as he carries him inside. “Your sarcasm’s in good shape. Let me sit you down and I’ll go grab the paperwork.” 

They enter the cold air of the ER waiting room and Keith all but flinches at the bright lights and smell of bleach. His only comfort, the soft warmth of Shiro’s arms around him, is taken when Shiro gently sets him down in a plastic padded chair and runs up to the front desk.

Keith’s head is swimming when Shiro returns and he mumbles to him all the answers to put on the paperwork.

“Lean on my shoulder if you need to, Keith.You’re falling down a little.”

Keith doesn’t need to be told twice. He rests his unwounded cheek on Shiro’s shoulder and shuts his eyes as Shiro asks him questions and he gives him the answer. He brings his wallet to practice, so luckily, they have his insurance card. He mourns when Shiro gets up to turn the clipboard back in, but breathes a sigh of relief when Shiro lets him lean on him again when he returns. He’s just so warm, it soothes Keith more than anything. 

“They said someone will come for you any second now.” Shiro murmurs. “And um… Listen, I’ll tell you this again when you’re not in pain anymore, but I’m so sorry for distracting you on the ice. I feel horrible.”

“Hm?” Keith frowns. “Not your fault.”

“I’m glad you feel that way.” Shiro sighs. “But I’m still sorry.”

“Keith Kogane?” A doctor in green scrubs steps out of the double doors and Shiro waves at him, helping Keith up out of his seat and over to him. “Come with me, Keith. We’re gonna get you all fixed up and manage your pain.”

“Great.” Keith grumbles, leaning on Shiro until they make it to an examination room and he’s hopped up onto a padded reclining seat. 

“Let’s take the towel away and assess the damage here.”

Keith grimaces and takes the blood soaked towel away. It’s gross, but the wound stings with the loss of it’s pressure and he hears Shiro wince beside him. “Bad?”

“Well, we’re gonna need to close it up. How’s your tolerance with needles? Pain?”

Shiro answers for him. “He hates needles. Really, really hates them.”

“You his husband? Brother?”

Even in his semi-delirious state, Keith sees Shiro go bright red. 

“J-Just a friend.” Shiro stammers. “Is it alright if I stay?”

“If it’s okay with him.” The doctor says before turning back to Keith. “Alright, so we’ll do an IV, put you out, and close the wound.” The doctor says, scribbling a few things down on the clipboard. “Keith, when the IV is in, we can give you something for anxiety. Does that sounds good?”

“Yes please.” Keith says, stomach already churning at the thought of an IV. He’s only had one a couple times before and they’re the worst . The needle is long and he can always feel every inch of it creeping in under his skin. He feels sick. “Do you have something for nausea you can throw in there too?”

“You got it.” The doctor nods. “A nurse will come administer the IV in a few minutes, so just sit tight and try to relax.”

“Easier said than done.” Keith sighs as the doctor leaves and he glances over at Shiro, who looks worried sick. “That bad?”

“It doesn’t look… great?” Shiro sucks his teeth. “I’m sorry. I’ll hold your hand for the IV, yeah? Don’t be embarrassed.”

“You’re really just as sweet as all the magazines say you are.” Keith gives a low laugh and shuts his eyes. “Yeah, I’ll take a hand. My dignity’s already out the window, you know?”

“I mean, you bled all over the ice, that’s kind of hardcore.”

“Yeah?” Keith snickers, grateful for Shiro’s presence as they wait for the nurse. He’s anxious, but Shiro distracts him. He says cute things that make him laugh, keeps his mind off of the pain a little. God, he’s just so adorable, Keith wants to melt. 

When the nurse comes in, Keith doesn’t even need to ask. Shiro comes to his side and grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together as he tells him to squeeze as hard as he needs to.

Keith does, squeezing Shiro’s hand tight and tensing when the nurse puts the needle in through the back of his hand and tapes it down. He hates every second of it. The needle is too long, the entry stings, and he hates the sensation of having something under his skin.

“Hey, it’s all done, Keith. You did it, yeah?” Shiro says, still holding his hand as the nurse administers something for the pain and for Keith’s anxiety. 

“Mm, thanks for sticking around.” Keith mumbles, silently praying for Shiro to keep holding his hand. It just feels so nice and it’s probably the only time he’ll ever have an excuse to do it. The pain management hits fast and the tension finally falls out of him as Shiro’s thumb draws circles on the back of his hand. Then the anti-anxiety medication cocktail hits and he feels a lot better. 

“Whoa.” Keith giggles, his head swimming in a whole new direction as he grins up at Shiro. The nurse leaves them to it while they wait for the doctor.

“Feeling better?” Shiro laughs.

“ Fuck , yeah I am.” Keith nods at him. “Wayyyy better.”

“I’m glad you’re not in pain. I’ll take you home when they get your face taken care of.”

“Sounds good.” Keith yawns, enjoying the tingles running through him. He really doesn’t mind this and he’s still holding Shiro’s hand. “You gonna stay while they put me under?”

“As long as you want me to.”

“Mm, yeah stay.” Keith gives a weak nod and an even weaker squeeze of Shiro’s hand. “You’re nice. Like you here.”

“Glad you feel that way.” Shiro chuckles. “I’ll stick around as long as you need me.”

The doctor returns shortly with an anesthesiologist and Keith goes under. It’s not “all the way under” they tell him, more of a twilight zone, but he gets to go to sleep for a while. He doesn’t dream, doesn’t think, just wakes up in the same chair with Shiro by his side and a bandage on his face. 

“Hey you.” Shiro smiles at him. “How are you feeling? The doctor said you might wake up feeling nauseous.”

“Hm?” Keith blinks a few times and glances around. The IV is still in. He feels fatigued, still a little drugged, but not nauseous. He could use something more for the pain again though. His cheek hurts like hell. “No, I feel okay. Kinda starving actually.”

“Oh shit you haven’t eaten a thing today. I’ll pick something up when I drive you home.” 

When the doctor returns, he gives Keith a prescription and another boost of some powerful painkiller before he removes the IV and bandages the spot. It puts Keith right out of it again. He’s loopy and giggly when Shiro helps him up and his inhibition is weak at best. He practically hugs him when they leave the emergency room, all the way until Shiro’s putting him back into his passenger seat. 

“Are you sober enough to tell me what your pharmacy is?” Shiro smiles as he buckles Keith in. “If this is any indicator of how you handle booze, I’m taking it you’re a lightweight.”

“Mm, Walgreens by the rink.” Keith mumbles as he gets cozy in the seat. It’s so soft . 

“Alright, let’s go pick up your painkillers and toss you in bed, tough guy.”

“Mmmkay.” Keith says as Shiro gets in behind the wheel, shutting his eyes and enjoying the gentle thrum of the car as Shiro drives him. He feels warm and loopy, safe with Shiro behind the wheel. 

He stays in the car when they go to the pharmacy, Shiro running in before returning with a shopping bag of snacks and his prescription. 

“Do you remember your address, Keith?”

Keith mumbles it out, but keeps his eyes closed as Shiro takes him there. He can’t wait to crawl into bed.

It’s a short drive. Shiro pulls into the parking lot and helps Keith out of the passenger seat, keeping an arm around his waist as they walk into the building and towards the elevator. 

“You’re really warm.” Keith giggles as he leans on him, most of his weight on Shiro as they wait for the metal doors to slide open.

“You’re funny when you’re drugged.” Shiro smiles as he carefully leads him inside. “What floor?”

Keith holds up four fingers.

“Gotcha.”

Painkillers really seem to dull any sense of shame Keith has because by the time they reach the fourth floor, he’s hugging Shiro for “support.” 

“You’re like a koala bear.” Shiro teases as they stumble their way to the door Keith points to as his. “Let me tuck you into bed and everything before you fall over yourself.”

“Sounds good.” Keith says with a sleepy grin as Shiro reaches into his pocket to fish out his apartment keys and gets the door unlocked. “Wanna go to bed?”

“I’m getting you there, champ.” Shiro kicks the front door shut behind them as he leads Keith to the bedroom, visible through an open door. Kosmo is whimpering from the couch, probably concerned, but Keith shrugs it off. Kosmo will come cuddle with him and calm down in a little. 

He doesn’t wanna let go of Shiro when he reaches the bed. He’s so soft and warm, strong, so Keith can lean on him. He wraps his arms around his neck when they reach the bed and pouts. “I like you carrying me.”

“You’re basically drunk right now.” Shiro laughs. “Come on, get in bed.”

“Will you come with me?” Keith wiggles his eyebrows before letting go and flopping back on the mattress. “Mmm, bed.”

“Can you get your shoes off?”

Keith manages to kick them off haphazardly and makes a move to get under the covers, but he’s clumsy and discombobulated, his fingers too lazy to peel back the comforter. 

“Alright, come here.” Shiro’s still laughing as he pulls the comforter back and lets Keith roll onto the mattress. “I’ll be your nurse for the day since I distracted you enough to get hurt.” He reaches over Keith to pull up the comforter, leaving his face inches from Keith’s and it nearly stops his heart. 

Shiro is so gorgeous . Keith is essentially high and the most beautiful person in the figure skating world is hovering over him, having just spent a couple hours taking care of him. No one ever takes care of him. Plus, he’s just so fucking cute, Keith’s drug addled mind kicks into motion, urging him upward until he’s pressing his lips against Shiro’s in a lazy, wet kiss. It feels like every cliche in the book. It feels like fireworks, like a spark ignites between them, like-

“Whoa there.” Shiro says when they part, taking Keith gently by the shoulders and laying him down. “You’re really not sober right now. Get some rest, I’m gonna hang out on your couch until you’re a little more lucid, alright? Wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“Mmmkay.” Keith gives a weak nod and curls up under the blankets, a goofy grin still plastered on his face from the warm feeling of kissing Shiro. He doesn’t have the capacity in the moment to think about what he just did, he just feels warm and happy. 

Shiro turns his light off and gives his shoulder a squeeze on the way out, shutting the bedroom door behind him so Keith can rest. “Call if you need me.”

“Kayyy.” Keith says, too entranced with how soft his pillow is against his uninjured cheek. This is gonna be the nap of his life


	2. Light My Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, enjoy !!!

When Keith wakes up, his head weighs more than a bowling ball, but he’s lucid for the first time in hours. The pain in his cheek is a dull thrum and he’s groggy to say the least, but he at least feels a little like himself again. He doesn’t remember anything besides waking up from the surgery and going back to sleep. 

“Hey, you up?”

“ _ Holy- _ Jesus!” Keith yelps, clutching the covers on instinct as he looks over to find Shiro in his bedroom doorway with a glass of water. “You’re here?”

“I drove you home from the hospital.” Shiro says, walking up to his bedside to place the glass down on Keith’s nightstand. “How are you feeling?”

“Sleepy.” Keith yawns to punctuate the statement. “Definitely feel like my face got slashed.”

“Here, take the painkillers that don’t turn you into a zombie.” Shiro smiles, handing Keith two blue pills from an orange plastic bottle and letting him gulp them down before he sits on the side of the bed. “Do you uh… remember anything between when you woke up from surgery and now?”

Keith shakes his head. “No, why?” He watches Shiro’s face turn pink. Oh no. 

“No reason. Just uh, just curious.”

He’s blushing harder. Jesus, what did Keith do? Shiro’s a bad liar. “I mean, clearly something happened.” Keith clears his throat. “Did I… say something weird?”

“Oh no, not at all. It’s really nothing.”

“Shiro, just tell me.”

“Uh.” Shiro bites his lower lip and chews on it for a second. “You might have um… You might have kissed me?”

Keith’s heart stops. He did  _ what? _ “What do you mean I kissed you?”

“You know like, um, your lips on uh… my lips?” Shiro winces. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make stuff weird, just if you remembered doing it, I thought we should talk about it, but you don’t remember doing it and I’m just… I don’t know what I’m doing.” He sighs. “I’m sorry. You were drugged up, it doesn’t mean anything. I know that.”

Wait a minute. “I mean…” Keith’s heart leaps from a stand still to a pace where he worries it might beat out of his chest like a cartoon character and Shiro will see the true levels of gay disaster he’s reaching here. “Did you want it to mean something? You can tell me.” He does mean that. Reconnecting with Shiro is important to him and he wants to communicate - although he also wants to crawl into a hole and hide for eternity. He wants to make sure he hasn’t upset Shiro too.

“I-I don’t really know.” Shiro says, looking over at him with soft eyes like he’s just as scared as Keith is. “I mean, it… it felt nice.”

“Yeah?” Keith feels his cheeks warm. 

“But you weren’t really sober. I don’t want you to think I would ever,  _ ever _ take advantage of you in any way, it’s just-

“Shiro.” Keith takes a deep breath. “Do you um… I mean, what if I did it completely sober? How would you feel then?”

“I think I would like that.” Shiro says with a sheepish nod. “But that doesn’t have to mean anything, I just, you know, I haven’t really  _ been  _ kissed in a while.”

“I haven’t really kissed anyone in a while either.” Keith laughs a little. He’s not sure where the confidence comes from, but the way Shiro looks like a cross between a kicked puppy and a wounded deer makes it a little easier. “Come here.”

“Are you sure?”

Keith just nods and waits until Shiro scootches up the bed, closer, so he’s sitting next to him. His heart is hammering, but Shiro looks so nervous, he finds the will to do it. He leans forward and presses his lips against Shiro’s, just barely. It’s the ghost of a kiss, the lightest brushing of their mouths together before he pulls back and looks at Shiro, sees the way his eyes are shining. “Did you like that?”

All Shiro manages is a weak nod. “Can you do it again?”

Keith smiles just at the sheer adorableness of him and kisses him again, firmer this time, feeling the curve of Shiro’s lips against his own, how their mouths seem to slot perfectly together even with a bandage on Keith’s cheek. His heart is soaring. It’s just a kiss. No touching to make him anxious, or send red flags flying. It’s so  _ innocent _ . He feels safe. “I didn’t make things weird did I?”

“Can you imagine how hard Twitter would explode if they had any idea what we just did?” Shiro laughs, his cheeks still pink. Keith loves how he blushes, the skin on his face always changing color except for the mark on his nose. “I um… I don’t feel weird, do you?”

Keith shakes his head. “I don’t really know what this means, but I know it feels nice. We um… We only just started to talk again though.”

“Yeah.” Shiro breathes. “It’s… new. But I really care about you, Keith. I always thought about you when we were away and I was always happy that you were doing so well in competition.”

“Even when I snatched your gold at NHK last year?” Keith teases, watching the cute way Shiro’s hair floof bounces when he laughs. 

“Especially then.” Shiro smiles in the sweetest warmest way, he thinks it might melt the ice if they were at the rink. Keith is gone. “You need to eat some real food. Let me feed you and I’ll get out of your hair.”

“You can stay longer if you want.” Keith pouts. “I’m wounded.”

“You’re too cute for your own good.” Shiro says as he stands up from the bed and offers his hands. “Come on. Let’s move you to the couch for a bit.”

“Why are you a figure skater when you’re such a talented nurse?” Keith quips when he takes Shiro’s hands and tries not to blush when Shiro pulls him up with ease. He wobbles a little bit and has to suppress a gasp when Shiro’s hand comes to the small of his back to steady him. 

Shiro leads him into the living room, sits him down on the couch and grabs the blanket from the armchair as Kosmo comes up to sit by his feet and whine. “I like your weird blue dog. He’s friendly.”

“That’s Kosmo.” Keith grins as he takes the blanket, leaving out for the moment that Kosmo is a service animal. “What are we eating?”

“I ordered falafel that should be here soon. I hope you like that. I didn’t want to order total junk food for you, but I wanted you to have something good.”

“Mm, falafel is perfect.” Keith yawns again, trying to do so in a way that doesn’t split his facial wound back open as he settles into the sofa. “Wanna stay and watch a movie? I’m still in zombie mode over here.”

“I can stay as long as you want me.” Shiro says as he sits down next to him.

“Remote’s on the coffee table.” Keith cocks his head towards it and wonders if maybe they’ll get to cuddle. Are they going to start dating now? He wonders if that’s even a remotely good idea, but he feels too good to care, his inhibition still slightly dulled by good narcotics. Kissing Shiro felt ten times more exciting than any of the medals on his wall ever did and Keith  _ loves _ winning, so it’s saying something. 

Of course they’ll have to keep it a secret, between them and friends at the absolute most, but looking at Shiro as he fumbles to figure out how to turn his TV on, he just wants this. He wants to kiss him and hold his hand and keep talking like they’ve been talking. Maybe for once in his life, he can have something like this. As long as Shiro doesn’t rush him, he should be okay. 

“What do you want to watch?”

“Blades of Glory.”

“You’re joking.” Shiro snorts. “Do you leave anything out on the ice?”

“This movie is a staple of our sport.”

“You like Ice Princess too?”

“Fuck yeah I do.” Keith sticks his chin out. “Put it on. I actually always watch this when I’m sick. I think getting slashed in the face is close enough to sick.”

“Fair enough.” Shiro smiles as he selects the pay per view and leans back on the sofa, his knee almost close enough to Keith’s to touch it, but not quite. 

Keith can’t believe his heart is racing just at the thought of knocking their knees together a bit, but it takes a whole deep breath for him to work up the nerve to scootch half an inch closer, let his knee rest against Shiro’s. 

They watch the movie like that for a little while, laughing and using it as an excuse to scootch a little closer to each other, bit by bit, until Shiro has an arm around Keith’s shoulders. It feels so… comforting? Easy? Keith’s always been stiff as a corpse when a guy tries to pull the old yawn and stretch on him, but with Shiro, he really feels cozy. He almost groans when there’s a knock on the apartment door for the food delivery, pouting when Shiro gets up and lets him go to retrieve it. 

“Do you think it’ll hurt to eat?” Shiro winces as he sets their food up on the coffee table. “God, even with the meds, you must be in pain.”

“Falafel’s worth the pain.” Keith shrugs, anxious for Shiro to sit down with him again. His cheek is aching. Probably will be for a while and he’s already mourning the loss of a few month’s spending money from all the sponsor photoshoots they’ll have to cancel. “Did you tell Coran I’m alive?”

“I gave him a call while you were sleeping. He’ll call you tomorrow to talk about how to handle your training.” Shiro sits back down and reaches for the plate he’s fixed with Keith’s take out, handing it to him, so he can stay cozy while he eats. Keith whines a bit internally, but breaks out in a smile when Shiro puts that arm back around his shoulders. Fuck, it’s such a simple touch, but such a good feeling. 

“You’re an angel.” Keith groans around a mouthful of falafel. “Seriously, thanks for all this. I um… I still feel bad that I kissed you all drugged up.”

“Keith, I’ve been blushing over you since I got here.” Shiro says, reaching for his own plate before he leans in to press a short kiss to Keith’s lips, greasy from the chickpeas. “I’ll take you on a real date as soon as you’re feeling up to it. We can put on hoodies and sunglasses to hide from your rabid fans.”

“ _ My _ rabid fans?” Keith raises an eyebrow, trying to pretend he’s not flustered from the sudden kiss. “You’re the one with the ten million fan sites.”

“You’ve got your own breed of fans. The girls love you.” Shiro teases, giving his shoulder a little squeeze as his eyes turn back to the movie. “They uh, used to love me, but I guess we’ll see how the news affects that.”

“Teenage girls love gay skaters. You can share my fans.” Keith says, his heart rate already calm even if he’s still blushing from Shiro’s hold on him. Even with the searing pain in his face, he feels great. “They’d lose their minds if they had any clue who I was with right now.”

“There’d be fanfiction in seconds.”

Keith snorts at that and nestles in even closer. “Any fans who drop you are stupid. Their loss.”

“You know you’re actually really sweet when we’re alone together.”

“Been a long time since we were alone, I guess.”

“Too long.” Shiro says with a soft kiss to the top of Keith’s head. 

Shiro stays for a while longer and Keith doesn’t complain, enjoying the small talk and stupid jokes, reminiscing about old times as teammates and blushing each time Shiro gives him a kiss. He stays until it’s late enough for Keith to go to bed, helps him into it, gives him another dose of pain medication before leaving him with a goodnight kiss. 

Keith goes to sleep, dazed with a mix of opioids and puppy love. The whole thing feels like a fever dream, like maybe he’s lying in a coma after the head injury or something and this whole thing is one insane hallucination. 

He falls into a deep sleep and an even deeper nightmare. 

Maybe it’s because of the drugs or maybe it’s all the thinking of old times he’s been doing with Shiro, but he wakes up trembling in soaked bedsheets. His heart stops for a moment, feeling the wetness under his hips, but then he breathes a sigh of relief. Shiro went home. There’s no one to witness his nighttime panic and subsequent accident except Kosmo who comes bounding up to lick his face. 

“Hey boy.” Keith whispers, petting the dog’s head as he takes deep breaths, waiting until he’s settled down before he reaches to turn the light on and peels out of bed. 

His head spins when he stands and he winces at the fresh pain in his face. He knows the wound is uglier than it is serious, but it still hurts like a bitch as he strips the bed and throws the laundry in. 

He doesn’t bother making the whole bed again, just grabs his spare comforter and a sheet to lie on top of before crawling back in, his heart heavy. How the fuck is he going to start a relationship with someone like Shiro if they won’t even be able to spend a night together? When they get to that point, Keith will either have to tell Shiro about the trauma that keeps him up at night or lie and say he’s a chronic bedwetter, arguably more mortifying. He can’t do either of those things. 

His stomach roils at the thought of getting Shiro back in his life only to lose him again. 

Keith’s eyes well up as he rests his head on his good cheek and pats the bed for Kosmo to jump up and join him. He’ll just take things slow with Shiro for as long as he can. He can at least enjoy this while it lasts.

* * * * *

Keith spends the next morning on the phone with Coran, recounting what the doctor’s told him and reassuring Pidge and Allura through a dozen different text messages that he’s not dying. He’s yet to update them on his whole Shiro situation, but that can wait until he figures out just exactly what his Shiro situation is and he needs to focus right now on getting well before his training suffers. 

He’ll be back on the ice soon enough. His face is the only thing that’s injured. It’s not deadly serious, but it’s not pretty either. For now, he’s confined to home for a few days while he takes the pain medication and mopes, only perking up when his phone buzzes with a text from Shiro. It’s not easy to check your phone during practice, but Shiro keeps stepping off the ice to check in, or DM him a meme. It makes Keith smile as he sits, curled up on the couch with Kosmo and a bad movie on. 

There’s nothing else to do, so he lays around, has one (or two) guilty jerk off sessions thinking about Shiro and sticks to the confines of his apartment, pouting. He’s supposed to be training for a high stakes season, but instead he’s stuck on his couch. He can practically feel his muscle mass depleting by the minute as he indulges is a bag of potato chips. 

It’s tough to stay off social media. Of course, the media frenzy over Shiro still hasn’t let up and he hopes Shiro deleted Twitter like he told him too. He does peek at his timeline every now and then, notifications off after what he tweeted in Shiro’s defense set a whole new social media shitstorm into motion. There’s still some pretty bad shit out there. People calling Shiro slurs, expressing disappointment, but there’s some good messages too. Fans that are still loyal, that are actually  _ happy _ to find out Shiro is gay, or are at least indifferent to it. It’s enough to keep Keith’s blood from boiling again that there are at least some fans out there sticking up for Shiro. 

He watches his phone vigilantly when the evening rolls around, wondering if Shiro will call, or maybe swing by to check up on him. His answer comes barely five minutes after the end of Shiro’s ice time. 

Shiro

How are you feeling? Want me to bring dinner by?

Keith

You’re a godsend. Sushi pls!

“Shit.” Keith glances around after he sends the text. The living room is a cesspool of food wrappers and crumbs while his bed still isn’t properly made from the night before. “Clean up, boy.” He says, standing up carefully from the couch so as not to get dizzy and giving Kosmo a scratch behind the ears, cocking his head towards the mess on the coffee table. He may have trained Kosmo himself to do a few things uh… beyond his service dog duties, but he’s glad he did as Kosmo diligently begins to pick up wrappers in his mouth and trots them obediently to the trash in the kitchen. 

Keith would run if he could, but slowed by injury and pain killers, he settles for a jog to the dryer, hauling out his bedding and rushing to put his spare sheets and comforter away as he dresses the bed properly again. It’d be hard to explain why his bed suddenly had nothing but a blanket and a sheet on it after Shiro saw it yesterday.

He doesn’t have much in the way of clean clothes, but he shucks off his sweatpants and peels out of his t-shirt, spraying himself with deodorant before wriggling into a passably “clean” pair of jeans and ever so carefully maneuvering into a new shirt without grazing the bandage on his cheek. 

He barely has time to run a brush through his hair and sweep the crumbs off the coffee table before he hears the buzzer and Shiro’s voice crackles through the speaker. 

“Hey Keith, I brought veggie wraps if, uh, you like that? I don’t know how you feel about hummus, but-”

Keith rolls his eyes, but smiles as he buzzes Shiro in. “Just come up and I’ll tell you all about my hummus opinions.”

A minute later, Keith opens the door to find Shiro in his usually tight practice clothes with a duffel bag in one hand and a takeout container in the other. He’s still sweaty from practice and Keith is a little honored that Shiro skipped his post-practice shower to come and see him. 

“How are you feeling?” Shiro asks, shutting the door behind him and setting his bag down before reaching up to cup Keith’s good cheek, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looks him over. “We need to change that bandage.”

“Do we really  _ need _ to?” Keith crinkles his nose. The thought of touching the tender area on his cheek makes him wince, not to mention the thought of Shiro seeing the injury up close. Although, he supposes Shiro was the one who dragged him to the hospital and witnessed the injury in the first place. 

“Yes.” Shiro laughs. “It’s bleeding through a tiny bit and the doctor gave you fresh ones. I’ll do it for you and then we can eat, yeah?” He gives Keith a kiss on the forehead, so casual and easy that Keith’s heart nearly beats out of his chest from the sheer surprise. It’s so… normal? Comfortable? He wants Shiro to do it a thousand more times. “Go sit on the couch. I left the bandages on your nightstand.”

“Alright.” Keith sighs, glad he’d taken the time to remake his bed as he takes the food and heads to the sofa, setting it down before he sits and lets Shiro fetch the bandages. He’s feeling a lot less lightheaded right now, on the tail end of a dose rather than the loopiness he feels the first hour or so after taking a pill. 

“How’s the pain been today?” Shiro asks when he comes back out of the bedroom with a fresh bandage and Keith’s bedside trash can, taking a seat next to him on the couch. 

“It’s been alright.” Keith shrugs. “I mean, I guess it’s as good as having ur face split open can be?”

“God, you poor thing.” Shiro says and his voice is so genuine that it doesn’t even sound condescending. Keith just feels cared about. “Can I take the old bandage off?”

“Yeah.” Keith grimaces, waving off Kosmo’s concerned glances as he leans forward and lets Shiro carefully peel it away. He cringes when he feels the air hit the tender wound, but Shiro is quick to toss the old bandage in the trash and put the fresh one back over his cheek, running his thumb around the edges to adhere it comfortably to his skin. It takes all of Keith’s will power not to preen at the touch. His skin is so sensitive, he could purr at the graze of Shiro’s thumb alone.

“Good?”

“Mhm.” Keith nods, still leaning in close and Shiro seems to catch his drift, leaning down to meet him in the briefest kiss, soft and tender before pulling apart. 

“You should eat something.” Shiro smiles. “Is it okay that I’m being kind of uh… affectionate and all that? I feel like I’m being cheesy, but it’s just so easy with you.” He shrugs, cheeks glowing pink as Keith looks him over. 

“It’s fine. I kind of love it.” Keith says, glancing down as his heart thumps. He doesn’t know what he wants. If he makes any kind of move, he’ll have to stop things at some point, try to tell Shiro in some vague roundabout way that he wants to take things slow, but he loves the feeling of Shiro’s touch. He wants to kiss him again for longer, harder, get a taste of Shiro’s tongue in his mouth. His face must be glowing red because he feels heat pooling in his cheeks. “You can uh… I mean, you can be as um, affectionate as you want when it’s just the two of us. Obviously, I don’t really want anyone outside the rink to know with all the shit you’ve gotten lately.”

“I wouldn’t hide you because of the backlash.” Shiro shakes his head. “But this is really new. I haven’t even taken you on a proper date yet.”

“I haven’t taken you on one either.” Keith teases, laughing a bit as he scootches closer. “We’ll um… We’ll figure it out. But I like this.”

“I do too.” Shiro blushes and a silence lingers between them, not entirely uncomfortable, but tense. Keith resists the urge to fidget, tries to decide if he should lean in and kiss Shiro again, invite him to go just an inch further than they went yesterday, or if he should cave and just turn to the veggie wraps, say something about being starving and pretend he isn’t thinking about climbing into Shiro’s lap. 

“Fuck Shiro, you’re gonna kill me.” Keith finally breathes and surges forward, kissing Shiro a little  _ too _ hard considering his injury, but he ignores the way his wound burns as he presses his lips against Shiro’s and brings a hand up to hold his cheek. He could moan just at the softness of Shiro’s skin against his hand as he tries to work up the nerve to lick into Shiro’s mouth, but Shiro takes the lead for him. His tongue brushes against Keith’s bottom lip and Keith lets him in without hesitation, feeling his face warm and heart hammer as Shiro’s tongue gently grazes his own. It’s like velvet, so warm and tender. He tastes like summer rain and Keith rolls his eyes internally for even thinking of the comparison but it’s true. 

“Keith.” Shiro whispers when they part, nuzzling his cheek into his hand and shutting his eyes. Keith thinks he even sees him shiver. “I… I-I can’t believe I let all this time go by without connecting with you again, I’m so sorry I-”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. We were kids and you were way ahead on the career path.” Keith says, smiling as he caresses Shiro’s face. He can’t stop touching him. “Just keep kissing me.”

“Is it hurting you?”

“Not enough to stop.”

Shiro cracks a smile and puts his hand on Keith’s knee as they come together again, Keith scootching closer so he’s as close as he can get without sitting in his lap as their tongues brush together. Their teeth clack when they get over eager and they laugh into the kiss before coming together again. Keith is nearly lost in it, about to work up the courage to let his hands wander over Shiro’s chest when he feels the hand on his knee slide up to his thigh and an alarm bell goes off. 

“Wait!” Keith splutters, breaking the kiss as his hand goes flying to hold Shiro’s in place. Shit. 

“Oh God, Keith I-I wasn’t going to… I’m sorry, I was just…” Shiro’s face goes from an adorably flushed pink to a deep embarrassed red. “I didn’t mean to move too fast, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Shiro, Shiro, no.” Keith waves his hands. “Stop, I just… Fuck.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. 

“Keith?” Shiro’s voice is quiet, almost frightened. 

“You didn’t do anything.” Keith says quickly, reaching over to give Shiro’s hand a squeeze. “Nothing at all, I just get uh… Kinda jumpy? It’s been a long time for me.” _ It hasn’t been  _ ever  _ for me. _

“Of course.” Shiro nods, his eyes still full of guilt. 

“Would it be okay if we took things slow? Like uh…” Keith bites his lip and prays this alone won’t put Shiro off. “Really slow. With the physical stuff.”

“Keith, sure, o-of course.” Shiro says, squeezing Keith’s hand back as he looks at him with his eyebrows pushed together again. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith sighs, slumping forward to put his head on Shiro’s shoulder. “I really,  _ really _ like when you kiss me like that though. It’s just… a little new to me right now.” He feels a pang of guilt for the half-lie, but it’s better than opening the can of worms that would be telling Shiro the truth about himself and inhibitions. 

“We never have to do something you don’t want to do.” Shiro says with a kiss to Keith’s good cheek that melts some of the tension away again. “You okay?”

“Oh I’m fine, I just got kind of…” Keith makes a fluttery motion with his hand and settles back into Shiro’s side. “Want to eat and forget how weird I am?”

“You’re not weird.” Shiro says with a playful nudge to Keith’s bicep before he reaches for the takeout and hands Keith his food. “Everyone missed you at the rink today. It was definitely a lot less entertaining without you.”

“Yeah? Missed my witty banter?”

“I did.” Shiro pouts. “I met your friend though. Allura? I like her, she’s nice.”

Oh Lord, Keith doesn’t want to know what kind of flirty hints Allura may have dropped to him. He hasn’t mustered the strength to tell his friends about the recent Shiro-related developments quite yet. He’d rather be fully present, sober, and in slightly less pain for the questions he’s going to have to field from her and Pidge. “Her and Pidge love you. I’m sure you hit it off.

“I hope so.”

“Are you holding up okay today? Did you delete Twitter?” Keith asks as he opens the takeout container and suppresses a moan at the sight of the wrap. After nothing but junk all day, the veggies might as well be candy. 

“I uh… Muted it?” Shiro winced. “I don’t know. I’m staying off it, but something about not being able to keep tabs on things makes me anxious. I haven’t looked much.”

Keith takes a bite and takes a moment to savor the crunch of the lettuce before he knocks his knee against Shiro’s. “Don’t even glance until stuff dies down. You don’t need to see all that hate. People are fucked.”

“Yeah.” Shiro deflates, sinking into the couch a bit and sliding a hand back to Keith’s knee. “They are.”

“Also, homophobes are really just looking to-” Keith stops mid-sentence and pales, his stomach making an ungodly sound he prays wasn’t as audible as he thinks it was as he jumps up and sprints to the kitchen. 

“Keith?”

The bathroom is too far, but Keith manages to double over the kitchen sink just in time to puke up what he just swallowed along with his ‘cheat foods’ of the day, his stomach heaving in painful lurches as it forces up everything up. It makes his throat burn and his eyes water not to mention the fact that Shiro is hearing the pterodactyl noises of him vomiting. Jesus Christ. When he lifts his head and quickly turns on the faucet to wash it away, he’s sweating and the room is spinning.

“Keith, are you okay?” Shiro’s voice comes from behind, a pair of strong hands coming to hold his waist. “Was it the food?”

Keith shakes his head. “Fuck, I don’t know I think it’s just the medication or something, but…” His stomach twists again and he winces, turning into Shiro involuntarily for support. He feels like he’s been hit by a truck, completely out of nowhere, shivering as Shiro hugs him. He can’t even enjoy the chiseled chest he’s pressed up against. “I-I don’t feel good.” It comes out as a whimper as he goes nearly boneless in Shiro’s arms. He hears Kosmo whining too, concerned for him. 

“Let’s get you in bed. I’m gonna call the doctor.” Shiro says, putting a hand to Keith’s forehead. “ _ Keith _ , you’re burning up. How did this just happen?”

“I don’t know.” Keith croaks. “You better not have poisoned me so you can win the Grand Prix.”

“How is it that every part of you has managed to get sick or injured except your sarcasm?” Shiro jokes, but his tone is still dripping with worry as he squeezes Keith and cocks his head towards the doorway. “Come on. Let me put you in bed and call the doctor.”

“Fine.” Keith sighs, leaning on Shiro a little more than he really has to as they exit the kitchen and head into his bedroom. “I won’t give you any drugged up kisses this time, my mouth’s too gross.”

“I’d say you’re a little more sober this time around too.” Shiro says when Keith sits down on the bed. “Um…” His cheeks pinken a bit as he glances down at Keith’s lap. “You shouldn’t go to bed in jeans. Can you get them off yourself? I can turn around.”

“I’m puking my guts out, I can still dress myself.” Keith rolls his eyes. “Well,  _ un _ dress myself. Turn around.”

Shiro does and Keith trusts him not to peek, but he slides under the covers anyways, wiggling out of the denim beneath the privacy of his duvet before he tosses them aside and groans as another wave of nausea hits him. “Can you get me a trash can or something before you get on the phone?”

“Oh geeze, yeah of course.” Shiro says before scrambling to fetch the bedside trash from the living room and bring it back, placing it just in front of the nightstand. “One sec.” 

“Hm?” Keith frowns, watching as Shiro walks into his adjoining bathroom and hopes he doesn’t have anything weird lying around in there. He hears the sink run and feels his heart give a little twinge when Shiro emerges with a glass of water and a damp washcloth. 

“Here, drink up.” Shiro offers the glass and waits until Keith’s had a few sips before he sets it back down for him. “Lie down.”

Keith obeys, blushing from a little more than the sudden fever as Shiro places the washcloth on his head. “You um… You don’t have to take care of me like this. I know we like each other, but I don’t expect you to be Super Boyfriend or anything.”

“You’re taking care of me.” Shiro shrugs, sitting on the side of the bed. 

“Huh?”

“You’re taking care of me.” Shiro repeats. “I haven’t lived in the States for years. I just lost all of my friends in Japan, lost my coach, lost a huge chunk of my fans and the only reason I’m smiling so much and feeling like everything’s okay is because you’ve been here for me.” His eyes shine with so much genuity Keith can hardly believe that someone like Shiro is real and that he’d spent so much time resenting him back in the day. “You made me feel at home again. The least I can do is help you out when you’re sick.” 

Keith watches him hesitate a moment before Shiro leans over to kiss his lips, ever so lightly (probably to avoid any lingering taste of vomit) before standing up from the bed to grab his phone and call the doctor, leaving Keith with Kosmo for a few minutes. 

“I know, boy. He’s perfect.” Keith grimaces as Kosmo climbs into be next to him. “Help me not fuck this up, alright? Be extra cute around him.” Kosmo gives his uninjured cheek an understanding lick and Keith shuts his eyes to keep the room from spinning. He’s stuck between wanting Shiro to leave before he can embarrass himself any further and desperately wanting him to stay. 

When Shiro comes back into the room, Keith actually feels himself relax, like he’s somehow safer just from Shiro’s presence alone. “The doctor said it’s probably a reaction to the pain medication. I told him how the wound looked when I changed the bandage earlier and he said it doesn’t sound infected, but you’ll have to deal with more pain.” Shiro winces. “You can still take Tylenol and stuff, but I know that’s not the same. I’m sorry, Keith.”

“Not your fault.” Keith shrugs, giving the bottle of pills on his nightstand a quick side eye before his stomach churns again and he groans. “Fuck, this sucks. It’s getting late though, you seriously don’t have to stay.”

“I’ll give you as much space as you need, but I’m not leaving you alone with a fever.”

Keith pouts. “It’s bad enough I’m missing practice. You can’t be late tomorrow morning.”

“You’re right, I can’t miss a second of this valuable training time while my rival is out of commission.” Shiro wiggles his eyebrows a bit and walks up to the bed to give Kosmo a few pets. “But I have all my gear and a spare practice outfit in my bag. I can crash on your couch if you’re still feeling sick in a couple hours.”

Keith’s stomach roils for a whole different reason. Would it be safe to have Shiro on the couch? He probably wouldn’t have a nightmare two nights in a row, but if he did, he could wake up Shiro and if he had to any laundry in the middle of the night, that would wake him up too. Still though, being honest with himself, he doesn’t want to be alone for the night if he’s feeling this bad. Having Shiro in his bed would be a hard no, but having him on the couch, nearby if Keith needs him is… tempting. “I don’t want to make you sleep on the couch. It’s bad for your back, you should go home.”  _ Please tell me no _ . 

“Let’s see how you’re doing in a little while.” Shiro nods. “Do you have a laptop? We could watch something in here if you want, or I can give you your space for a bit. I want to take care of you, but I don’t want to smother you either.” He gives a nervous laugh that melts Keith’s heart. It’s not fair that Shiro gets to be this adorable. Keith can never say no to anything. 

“That sounds nice.” Keith says, giving Kosmo a gentle nudge to hop off the bed, so there’ll be space for Shiro. “You’re taking the dog’s side though. Laptop’s on my dresser.”

“Sounds good.” Shiro winks at him. “We’re watching Ice Princess.”

* * * * *

Keith feels like the fever’s making him hallucinate. Shiro does end up staying. He talks to him and plays movies on his laptop for them to watch together until it’s time for bed and Keith nearly faints when Shiro opts to sleep in just his t-shirt and underwear. 

“I’m really sorry, I’d put something on, but I uh… didn’t plan for staying overnight and your clothes are a little…” Shiro had blushed and Keith had just laughed. He wasn’t going to complain about Shiro walking around pantless for a night.

He goes to sleep worried about his nightmares, but the odds of having two in a row are slim. When he wakes up in the middle of the night and pukes his guts out, there’s Shiro running in and kneeling next to him, holding his hair and stroking his back, whispering to “get it all out,” and “it’s okay, you’re okay.” Keith never wants him to leave. 

Shiro brings him back to bed and gives him a fresh glass of water along with a kiss on the forehead before he retreats back to the couch. Keith does feel bad making him sleep there, but sharing a bed is  _ not _ something he can risk nor handle right now. When he wakes up and pukes again a few hours later, Shiro takes care of him the same way. 

Keith manages to sleep until morning after that, opening his eyes to find a plate of toast and slight bananas on his nightstand with a sticky note. 

_ Had to get to practice. Eat breakfast and take it easy.  _

_ Text me when you’re up. _

_ \- Takashi _

Takashi. Keith’s eyes linger on Shiro’s first name, his heart fluttering in his chest. He hasn’t called him that since they were best friends and even back then, it took a couple years for Shiro to let Keith use that name. 

Keith can get used to this. 

* * * * *

“I’m sorry, so you’ve been dating  _ the _ Takashi Shirogane for  _ how long _ ?!” Pidge nearly drops a wine glass on Keith’s living room carpet as he blushes, Allura gaping at him from her place on the floor with Kosmo. 

“Uh… 72 hours? Don’t call it dating, I don’t know if it’s that yet.” Keith says, picking at a tear in his jeans and mourning the loss of the good pain meds. His whole face hurts. 

He’d let Shiro nurse him back to health and enjoyed every second of it, but he’s still apartment bound and he couldn’t possibly make Shiro spend another night on his couch. Shiro was concerned about him being by himself even after the fever subsided, so he’d invited Pidge and Allura over to dish and complain for the evening. He had nothing better to do, so might as well clue them in on the events of the past two days. 

“How did you not text me immediately?!” Pidge scowls. “This would make international headlines if word got out, Mister.”

“No shit. I want to keep it quiet.” Keith sighs. He’s far better than he was yesterday, but he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t miss Shiro taking care of him. 

“I can’t believe you got drugged up and kissed him.” Pidge shakes her head as she sits down next to him and takes a long sip of a rose Keith isn’t currently allowed to drink. “The world’s greatest figure skater has been playing nurse with you for two days and it took a full 72 hours to find out you had even kissed. Wounded, Keith. I’m wounded.”

Keith lets out a low laugh and glances over at Allura. “I heard you two hit it off.”

“Keith, that man is smitten with you.” Allura says as she strokes Kosmo’s fur, pulling out little bits of lint or fuzz as she goes and making a small pile next to her feet. “All he could talk about was how scared he’d been to come here and how amazing you’ve been. He also uh…” She lifts her eyebrows. “He mentioned he missed you  _ quite _ a bit since you parted ways.”

“He did?” Keith feels his face warm again. 

“I think he may have been thinking about you more than you thought all these years.”

“Huh.”

“Are you going to tell anyone else?”

Keith shakes his head. “Eventually the whole team and Coran probably, but I want to wait until we’ve actually gone on a date and stuff. It’s just so… I don’t know, new? It’s really comfortable just being with him when it’s the two of us, but I think that’s just because we have history. Things might change when we go on a real date rather than just making out in my apartment like we’re fifteen again.”

“He’s a gentleman.” Allura states as a fact. “I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time on your first official date.”

“What could be nicer than a date with your face bandaged up?”

“Oh you’re gonna scare the shit out of your competition with that new scar.” Pidge grins before wiggling her eyebrows at him. “Well, except for Shiro.”

“I’m cutting your alcohol off.”

* * * * *

As soon as Keith is well enough, Shiro insists on taking him out on a proper date. His face is still healing, but he gets to cover with a bandage that looks like flesh colored tape now rather than have a white patch of cotton taped to his cheek. It’s the evening before he’s allowed to resume practice and Shiro picks him up in the nice car Keith remembers bleeding all over to take him out to dinner. 

Keith doesn’t know if he’s ever been taken out on a proper date before. Every guy he tried before would usually just meet him at some club, or a coffee shop if it was a little more tame (Keith’s preference), but a guy picking him up and driving him to a nice restaurant? That’s a new one. Keith has to dig out the suit he wears for galas and fundraising events and spends an hour on FaceTime with Allura getting his hair just right and applying the smallest amount of eyeliner, covering his blemishes. It feels like a lost cause considering there’s still a bandage on his face, but the way Shiro’s eyes light up when he sees him makes him feel better about it. 

It dawns on him when they walk into the restaurant together, some place high end and Italian with low lighting, that Shiro probably  _ has _ done this before. Even if he wasn’t out publicly, he must have been on dates before. He chats with the hostess so easily as she shows them to their table, a little spot in the corner with a divider nearby for privacy. 

“See? I promised you no disguises necessary.” Shiro smiles as Keith sits across from him, sliding him a menu. “Is it weird that I wasn’t nervous at all hanging out on your couch for hours, but now I sorta feel like fainting?”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Keith lets out a sigh of relief. “I’m uh… nervous too. I haven’t really been on a date like this before.”

“Really?” Shiro frowns. “I mean, it’s not surprising. We barely have any free time at all, but you know, you’re uh… you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Keith laughs as he pretends to read over the menu. 

“I’d think there’d be a high demand for Keith Kogane, the openly gay star athlete.”

“Maybe if I ever mingled outside of the rink.”

“True enough.” Shiro smiles before his phone buzzes on the table. Sometimes they get training schedule changes, or texts from Coran, so Keith doesn’t mind when Shiro picks up his phone to check the notification. He figures it’s something mundane, but then Shiro’s face falls, his eyes watering as he stares at the screen. 

“Shiro?” Keith frowns. “You okay?”

“U-Um…” Shiro’s mouth wobbles and he sets his phone face down again, suddenly looking so fragile, Keith fears he might crumble right here at the dinner table. “I-It’s nothing, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine, you look like you’re about to cry.” Keith pushes his eyebrows together in concern as he reaches across the table for Shiro’s hand, squeezing. “You can talk to me. What was it?”

“My ex-boyfriend tweeted.” Shiro sniffles, blinking his eyes fast to drive back tears. “I-It’s not what you think, I couldn’t care less about him romantically I swear, but h-he um…” He stops talking and presses his lips together into a straight line to contain himself.

Keith’s heart sinks just seeing Shiro look so hurt. Who the fuck is this guy? If Keith can kick his ass without creating a scandal, he’ll do it. 

“Sorry.” Shiro winces. “I-It’s just, um, when we were dating, we kept it super secret because he was adamantly against coming out of the closet because of our careers a-and he has this conservative family, but this shit he just tweeted, I can’t believe he’d do something like that.”

“Let me see.” Keith says, reaching for Shiro’s phone and waiting for his nod of permission before turning it over and tapping the screen to see the notification. 

_ @AdamSkates tweeted for the first time in a while.  _

I know I’ve been silent on this matter for too long already, but as the season gets

closer, I can’t keep silent. Ashamed and embarrassed to skate in the same

discipline as Takashi Shirogane. Skaters like him are why young boys don’t learn

to skate. 

Keith’s blood boils. “Are you fucking  _ kidding _ me?” He glares. “I get being in the closet, but spouting homophobic shit like this just to cover his ass?” Keith seethes as he sets the phone back down and huffs, taking a deep breath so he can steel the anger and focus on comforting Shiro. He had no idea Adam Wyer was gay. He’d skated against him plenty of times before and he knew he trained in Japan for some time. That must have been when he was with Shiro. “That’s horrible, Shiro.” Keith says, softening his tone as he runs his thumb over the back of Shiro’s hand. 

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t get so worked up, it’s just that he’s you know… He’s a big name in the sport too. This hurts me.” Shiro’s shoulders slump as he looks up at Keith with the biggest puppy dog eyes. “I’m sorry I’m being like this on our first date.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“You don’t mind me crying about my ex-boyfriend on our romantic night out?” Shiro gives a wet laugh and pulls his hand away to wipe his eyes and tuck his phone back into the pocket of his blazer. “I’m okay though, really. Just caught me off guard.”

Keith sticks his lip out in sympathy as he looks Shiro over. God, he just wants to give him a fucking hug. He also wants to give Adam a kick to the groin with his skates on, but he puts that on the mental to do list for later.

A waitress stops by and Keith orders them both a glass of wine before they each order their own pasta dish, Keith nuzzling his foot against Shiro’s ankle under the table the whole time in an attempt to keep him soothed. Shiro had taken such good care of him when he was injured. He needs to be here when Shiro’s hurting too. 

“Hey.” Keith murmurs when the waitress leaves. “It looked like this restaurant has a back garden. Do you want to step out with me for a bit?”

Shiro gives a desperate nod and lets Keith shrug off his blazer, leaving it on the chair, so no one thinks they’ve left as they get up from the table. 

Even though it makes his heart feel like bursting, Keith works up the courage to take Shiro’s hand in his own and lead him out back, past the outdoor patio seating and into the garden. There’s a stone path around a large fountain, surrounded by vegetation and fully blooming rose bushes, an herb garden that the wind wafts over, making the air smell like rosemary.

“Come here.” Keith says, squeezing Shiro’s hand as he leads him onto the trail, around the fountain where they have a little more privacy. “Are you okay?” He asks, putting his free hand on Shiro’s waist. He just wants to hold him right now. Seeing Shiro - practically the sweetest guy to ever walk the Earth - look so heartbroken makes Keith want to wrap him up and hide him away from all the homophobic shit being thrown at him. 

It’s strange how long Keith hated him, only to feel this way now, like he wants to protect Shiro despite spending years wishing Shiro had protected him. But Shiro hadn’t known Keith needed him back then. Now that they’re here, Shiro’s been there for him every second and Keith’s going to do the same. 

“I’m alright.” Shiro gives a soft smile, the moonlight reflecting off his white hair in a soft glow. He really does look like an angel.

“Want me to beat that guy up at the next post-competition gala?” Keith asks, stepping a little closer and letting go of Shiro’s hand, so he can slide his arms around Shiro’s waist, his heart thumping in his chest. 

“Maybe.” Shiro laughs this time, his cheeks a little pink. “Not a great way to kick off our relationship, huh?”

“This relationship started with a pint of my blood on the ice and a narcotics fueled kiss. It’s all uphill from here.” Keith grins, so entranced by Shiro’s charm and the will to take his hurt away that he easily rises up on his toes to give Shiro a proper kiss, holding him close in the moonlight as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip and nuzzles their noses together when they part. Keith feels drunk off the kiss and they haven’t even had a sip of wine yet. “Are we crazy for jumping into all this so fast?”

“I don’t think so.” Shiro shakes his head and plants a comforting kiss on the middle of Keith’s forehead. “I feel like you’re my best friend again. Only this time, I uh… You know, I  _ like _ you like you.”

“Oh we’re at  _ like _ like now?” Keith cocks an eyebrow. “That’s a pretty big step, Shiro. I don’t know if I’m ready for that quite yet.”

“Want me to buy you a promise ring?”

“Only if it goes with my costume.” Keith holds up his hand to display his ring finger and laughs into the kiss when Shiro touches their lips together again. 

“Don’t test me.” Shiro says with a wiggle of his eyebrows that makes Keith’s knees weak before he cocks his head back towards the restaurant. “We should get back inside. I have a feeling that wine’s going to hit the spot right about now.”

“We could get a bottle if you want.”

“You got hurt last practice stone cold sober. Let’s not have you skate hungover tomorrow morning.” Shiro says as he snakes his arm around Keith’s waist to lead him back to the restaurant, his eyes still a little pink from the tears he’d held back, but that adorable sparkle is back and he’s smiling again. Keith wants to make him smile as much as possible, just so he can see it. 

They talk and laugh their way through dinner, feeding each other bites off of their plates, reaching over the table to dab sauce away from the corner of each other’s mouths, whether there’s really anything there to wipe off or not. Shiro moves the candle to the side, so he can lean over and give Keith a kiss when the urge to do so arises and Keith happily keeps an ankle locked around Shiro’s beneath the table cloth. God, he feels like he’s fourteen again. A smitten teenager with a school boy crush. Only this time, it’s for real. He’s not just pining for his best friend, he’s  _ dating _ his best friend. Well, also former enemy and present biggest competition in the whole international sport of figure skating, but still. It’s nearly everything he’s dreamed of. 

If they make it far enough and God fucking willing, Keith is somehow able to move forward in this relationship without his trauma putting a stop to it, it will be everything he’s dreamed of. Everything he’s ever wanted in a relationship - even if they may have to wear hoodies and sunglasses for day time dates. 

They pass on dessert, too full and getting sleepy from the wine as Shiro drives him home. It’s not until they get to the parking lot that Keith realizes he’d drank much more than Shiro had. Not enough to be actually drunk, or hungover in the morning, but Shiro had been taking it easy, so that he could still give Keith a ride. He could melt into Shiro’s expensive passenger seat at the sentiment. 

At his apartment, Shiro walks him upstairs, Keith’s heart still warm, his belly pleasantly full of amazing food and the good kind of butterflies as he leans back against his front door and pulls Shiro in by his tie for a goodnight kiss. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe he’s just high on Shiro’s charm again, but he holds him there. He slides his arms around Shiro’s neck, runs his tongue over his plush bottom lip as Shiro presses him lightly into the front door, more for balance and gently. Keith doesn’t feel trapped. 

He nudges his tongue into Shiro’s mouth with a soft  _ unn _ sound he’ll cringe at when he remembers this later, but for now, he’s intoxicated with the feeling of Shiro’s tongue sliding against his own, the short puffs of breath against his cheek from Shiro’s nose as they breathe through the kiss, not wanting to part for something as petty as oxygen. Shiro tastes like the wine and the amazing sauce that had been on his pasta. 

Keith feels his dick twinge in his dress pants, feels his skin heating, face flushing as he clutches Shiro close, kissing him over and over, exploring his mouth. He almost wants to take Shiro’s hand, thrust it between his legs, make Shiro cup his hard on right here in the hallway, but he knows where that leads. He’s been there before and even if he feels emboldened, calm, and safe in the moment, as soon as Shiro grabs him there, he’s more likely to panic or shut down than have the romp in the sheets he’s envisioning. So he breaks the kiss. 

“Tonight was amazing.” Keith breathes, eyes drifting to the shininess of Shiro’s wet lips as he shifts his hips back to try and keep his semi from showing. “I um… I would invite you in, but you know um… Big practice tomorrow.”

“Of course.” Shiro smiles. “Go rest up. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks for everything tonight, Shiro.”

“Of course.” Shiro says before planting a kiss against Keith’s bandaged cheek. “And Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“You can call me Takashi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying this story please let me know in the comments <3
> 
> Also be sure to follow me on Twitter @nuttinonice if you're enjoying this story and you can learn how to get early access to chapters ! Chapter 3 of this will be up on a few days on another platform.


	3. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Keith, baby, wake up.” 
> 
> A harsh whisper and a hand on his shoulder startles Keith awake, the bedside lamp on and Shiro looking at him terrified when Keith jerks awake and blinks his eyes. It takes Keith a moment to get his bearings, realize where he is before he feels it. No. No, no, no, fuck no this isn’t happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooo weeee it's time for some DEVELOPMENT folks!

Once Keith is back to training, the off season seems to fly by. He trains hard throughout the day, goes to dance class a few evenings a week, goes out with Shiro on weekends, and they’ve even started sneaking little makeout sessions in the locker room. 

They still haven’t gone any further than that and Keith is grateful that Shiro isn’t pushing him. They’ve gotten so close lately, he feels like if there’s anyone he may one day be able to open up to about his trauma, be comfortable enough with for real sex, it might be Shiro. For now, he’s enjoying the heated kisses, the sexual tension filled yoga sessions where they “help each other stretch.” 

The girls press him for information, always asking for details, wanting breakdowns of every date. What did he and Shiro  _ do _ last night? Keith is happy to deliver for the most part, his heart warming whenever he confides in them about how much fun he’s having with Shiro, but the unspoken questions are always there.  _ Have you had sex yet? How was it? Is Takashi Shirogane a sex God or not? _ He always dodges Pidge’s wiggling eyebrows and Allura’s polite inquisitions with a vague answer and a ‘gentlemen don’t kiss and tell’ type response, but now that they’ve been going out for a while, he knows it’s going to sound strange that they don’t have a sex life. 

Regardless of any sexual frustrations though, he’s never felt more ready for competition to start. His wound has healed into a scar and he gets a sick photo on the front page of the Olympic channel website, decked out in leather, facial scar on display with his skates slung over his shoulder. He’s got all eyes on him for this season.

His programs have come along great. Shiro’s have too, but it’s pretty clear that they’ll be neck and neck this season. Keith’s content with that. They had a long talk about leaving their feelings off the ice and skating their best against each other. May the best boyfriend win. 

They’re separated for their first grand prix assignment. Keith at Skate America while Shiro takes on Rostelecom Cup in Russia, but they’ll be competing against each other in Japan at NHK Trophy. Keith’s heart had sank when Shiro found out he was assigned to Japan’s event. As much as he loves it there, it’s definitely where his scandal hit hardest. He hasn’t been back since the headlines. 

Still, Keith feels like he has nothing to be nervous about. He knows Shiro will still put out an amazing skate and Keith is there for him if things get tough - although they have to be careful about spending too much time together in front of the press or the public eye. He isn’t worried.

At Skate America, Keith snatches an easy gold. It was a lucky placement. There aren’t a lot of his major competitors and he debuts his new programs with no falls or major mistakes. It’s just the kind of confidence boost he needs at the start of a new season. 

When Shiro goes to Rostelecom, Keith watches every second of the competition on a bootlegged Russian stream. Athletes like Shiro in Russia are not exactly well received, but he’s relieved to find the stands still filled with fans of Shiro, waving Japanese flags, holding banners with Shiro’s name and face on them. Shiro skates like a dream. Keith still has to fight a hard on watching his new routines and it looks like the judges are just as smitten with him when Shiro receives his scores. A new world record in total score by a single point, beating his own personal best. 

Keith gets one nervous twang, knowing it’s going to be one hell of a fight at the Grand Prix Final, but mostly, he’s just glad that Shiro got his first gold of the season and that he’s happy. Plus, knowing Shiro’s already got a gold medal in the bag too keeps him training hard every day, ready to show him everything he’s got when they face off in Japan. He knows silver is most likely, but gold is within reach and he’ll be damned if he gives it up just because he happens to be in love with Shiro’s stupid sweet face. Plus, a victory won’t be a victory if he doesn’t beat Shiro at his very best.

So he still isn’t worried. 

He at  _ least _ isn’t worried until Coran pulls him aside after practice.

“Keith my boy.” Coran says, eyes fixed on a clipboard as he twiddles with his mustache. “You know we suffered a bit of a hit to the ol’ budget when you were out of commission with that face wound, yes?”

“Uh, yeah?” Keith blinks, his hand coming up to trace the scar on his cheek. “What about it?

“We need to cut back  _ ever  _ so slightly. I’m going to room you with Shiro for NHK.”

Keith feels his face pale. No  _ fucking  _ way. If he has an episode at night with Shiro in the room, he’ll… he doesn’t even know  _ what _ he’ll do. He just knows it can’t happen. 

“Oh don’t go prissy on me.” Coran tuts. “You’ll have your own hotel room most of the time, but we’ve got to be sensible and I’m afraid Shiro is the only other team member flying out to the competition. Is that alright?”

“Yeah.” Keith grimaces, unable to come up with a good enough excuse to avoid the real reason he doesn’t want to share a hotel room. “That’s fine.”

“I thought you’d appreciate the free vacation.” Coran winks as Keith groans and slings his duffel bag over his shoulder. “Enjoy! Don’t slack in dance class this week, you’re flying out for Japan in three days.”

Fantastic.

*** * * * ***

Keith finds himself distracted in dance class. Tripping and losing form as his mind whirls with the awful possibilities of what could happen if a night with Shiro goes wrong. Not to mention the pressure of a competition on top of it. Part of him knows he can only keep this up so long, keeping his boyfriend at arms length, never wandering below the belt, or sharing a mattress, but still, he just doesn’t feel ready. He’s desperate for sex, being honest, but the reality of it is so much different from the fantasy. In reality, he won’t be as in control as he is when he thinks about Shiro fucking him in his own fantasies. In reality, Shiro will want to spend the night after and if that becomes a regular occurrence, there’s just no way Shiro won’t eventually witness an episode.

It gives him a headache, but he still takes comfort in the fact that Shiro is there to pick him up after dance class, hustling him into the car with it’s slightly tinted windows so he can give him a kiss without worrying about anyone’s wandering eye and Keith melts right into him. Even if this relationship is a root cause for all these predicaments he’s in, he can’t help the way he relaxes around Shiro. 

Back at the apartment, he drags Shiro right to the sofa, pushing him down first, so he can lie over him, exhausted as he nuzzles his nose against Shiro’s neck. “Today sucked.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Keith shakes his head and presses a few kisses to Shiro’s neck instead. 

“Aw, hi there.” Shiro laughs, sliding his hand down Keith’s back. “Someone eager?”

“Kiss me until I’m not a cranky asshole anymore.”

“That might take all night, Baby.”

“So be it.” Keith says with a roll of his eyes before lifting his head so Shiro can kiss him properly. 

_ God _ , Keith really could just do this all night. The way Shiro’s plush lips press against his own, so soft and gentle, but always with a touch of heat behind them, like Keith can tell he’s holding back. He does what he always does. He parts his lips, lets Shiro’s tongue swipe over his bottom lip, gasps quietly into deeper kisses and relishes in this one act that he finds himself finding total comfort in every time. 

Except, this time, their position is a little… different. When Keith’s cock stiffens in his leggings, he can’t so subtly shift his hips back like he usually does and he feels himself freeze at the realization that not only is his dick pressed right against Shiro’s thigh, his erection painfully noticeable. But he can feel Shiro’s too - a tent in his jeans pressing against his hip. 

“Hey.” Shiro whispers, pushing the hair out of Keith’s eyes and kissing his forehead. “It’s okay. I’m not trying to make any moves here, you just do what you want to.” 

Keith feels his face flash red. Does he really look that terrified? He doesn’t feel triggered in this moment, just… nervous. Really nervous. He feels safe with his clothes on, still in Shiro’s arms, but he doesn’t know what to do next that won’t eventually lead him to a hard stop when fear sets in. “I… I just um…” He stammers. 

“We don’t have to have sex, or even take our clothes off. We can even stop right here, but I do want to make you feel good, Baby.” Shiro says, his voice soothing as always as he leans up to press a kiss to Keith’s ear, one of his most sensitive spots, and Keith shivers in response to it. 

“How?” Keith swallows and Shiro answers with a subtle roll of his hips, giving Keith a heavenly hint of friction that draws a quiet “ _ oh,” _ from his mouth. Yeah, that… That feels good. Keith likes that. He tucks his face into Shiro’s neck, too embarrassed as he takes a deep breath and grinds back, just a little bit, pressing himself down against Shiro’s bulge and rubbing himself against Shiro’s thigh just a little bit. He’s still nervous, but he wants more of that. 

“Oh Baby.” Shiro breathes, sliding his hands down Keith’s sides until he’s gripping his hips, rolling up against him and pulling Keith down to meet the motion. 

“Fuck.” Keith breathes, his pounding heart relaxing a little bit as he lets Shiro guide him, feeling the heat and friction between them as they grind over their clothes. He didn’t think something so simple could feel so good. He’d never done it with any of his past attempted hook ups, but he likes it. It doesn’t trigger as much panic in him as other acts might, but it still feels good. 

“You’re so hard.” Shiro whispers and Keith practically whimpers in response, grinding down against him with more vigor than before. “Oh fuck, that’s it, Baby.” Shiro’s voice is breathier. “That’s it, let me take care of you.”

Humiliating as it is, Keith feels an orgasm looming. He doesn’t really know what the protocol is here. Does Shiro want him to come? Is he supposed to pull away before he creams his pants like a kid? 

The decision is made for him when Shiro grabs his ass, pushing him down a little harder and when Keith feels himself grind his dick down perfectly against Shiro’s bulge, he gasps, fisting the fabric of Shiro’s t-shirt in his hands as he pants and comes into his leggings. It’s a mixture of humiliation and complete euphoria, one of the quickest, but somehow best orgasms he’s had in a long time and he did it in his clothes - on top of Shiro who didn’t seem anywhere near as close as Keith was. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Keith gulps as he raises his head, knowing his face is burning deep red as he looks down at himself, the messy stain on the front of his dance leggings. “I didn’t mean to, I just… You were just…” His eyes start to water just as Shiro pulls him into another kiss, soft with no tongue, just the gentle, reassuring touch of their lips. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Shiro assures, kind as ever as he sits himself up a little more, Keith still in his lap as he wraps his arms around his waist and smiles up at him. “Did you like that?”

“Yeah.” Keith lets out a nervous laugh as Shiro squeezes his waist. “But I feel bad, I mean, you didn’t um…” He glances down and feels a pang of guilt at the tent in Shiro’s jeans. Geeze, it’s got to hurt at least a tiny bit and here Shiro is, completely ignoring it just to be comforting. Looking at the bulge, he worries his lower lip between his teeth. He wants to see it. He’s dreamt of what Shiro’s cock might look like a dozen times and he knows it’s a risk to move forward, but… shouldn’t Shiro get off too? He’s feeling safe, maybe he can take this step. “I-I can um… I can finish you with my hand.” Keith swallows. “Or I can try to, I just… Could we still stop if I felt weird about it? I’m still just… taking things slow.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Shiro nods.

“I think I want to.” Keith sighs, face flushed as he looks down at Shiro’s lap. “Can I um… Can I see it?”

“Sure, love.” Shiro says, innocent, as if Keith had just asked to borrow a cup of sugar and not for him to whip out his cock. “Just say the word and we call it quits, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Keith breathes, eyes transfixed on Shiro’s hands as he watches him undo the button of his jeans, drags the zipper down to give Keith a better look. His heart thumps in the good way this time, seeing a wet spot on the front of a pair of black boxer briefs, an outline of Shiro’s cock. When Shiro pulls it out, Keith thinks he might faint. 

There is that initial moment of panic, just a quick twist in his gut that Keith quells with a deep breath and a quick look at Shiro’s eyes. He notices they’re not just sweet and kind this time, but Shiro’s a little nervous too. He feels even safer. 

“Wow.” He blinks as he lets his eyes wander over the details of it. Shiro’s completely waxed, his cock heavy and flushed pink. He’s circumcised and the way the tip glistens with pre-come makes Keith want to lick it up if he had the guts to do so. “Can I touch it?” His voice comes out quieter than intended and Shiro gives him another kiss for comfort. 

“You can do whatever you want with me, Keith. I’m all yours right now.” 

Keith gulps as he reaches over, looking up at Shiro’s face for a little final encouragement before he wraps his fingers around the base and shivers. It’s hot to the touch, the skin smooth as he strokes up in an initial tentative motion, watching himself as he pauses around the tip, drags his thumb around the slit and finds that Shiro moans when he does so, a quiet little sound, but still a sign nonetheless. “You like being touched here?” Keith smiles a little bit, his nerves quieting even further as he watches Shiro’s face flush, his hips twitch a little as Keith teases his tip. 

“Yeah.” Shiro lets out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I like that.”

Keith makes a mental note and strokes back down again, stuck between watching what he’s doing and watching Shiro’s face as he starts to stroke him, build a steady rhythm. It was at this point he’d chickened out with anyone else. He’d never completed a handjob, but even though, as he watches his hand work over Shiro and flashes of memories pop into the back of his mind, he pushes them back this time. It’s too different with Shiro. Sitting in his lap while he touches him, Keith’s in control. He still doesn’t think he could handle Shiro doing this to him yet, but in this position, doing it to Shiro feels right. 

“Oh, Keith.” Shiro groans, pushing his hips up against his fist. “I’m gonna come, baby. I don’t want to make a mess.”

“You can make a mess.” Keith laughs, leaning over him to kiss up his neck as he continues stroking, his confidence building with every flick of his wrist. “Make a mess for me, Takashi. Come on.” Holy shit, he’s dirty talking. Maybe he actually can get the hang of a seual relationship.

“Oh fuck, Keith.”

Keith speeds up his fist a little and goes in for the final blow, kissing over Shiro’s ear before lowering his voice and whispering. “Come for me, Takashi.”

Shiro doesn’t need much help following directions. 

Keith strokes him through the orgasm, in awe of himself as he jerks Shiro off to fruition, watching the come spill over his hand, stain bits of Shiro’s shirt and his jeans. Shiro orgasms as gracefully as he fucking skates, his back arching, his mouth falling open, cheeks flushed pink as he moans the softest, lowest, perfect sound and empties into Keith’s hand. Keith feels dizzy just with the insane pleasure of such a simple sex act. Maybe he can open up to Shiro one day after all. 

“Oh my God, Keith.” Shiro says, still catching his breath as he pulls him into a proper kiss. “It feels so good to know you’re letting me in. I was starting to worry.” He smiles and Keith smiles back, although he still worries it might take a long time for him to even move a step past this. 

“Call me a puritan, but I like to make men work for it.” Keith teases. “I’m gonna go change, but I’ll bring you a towel, yeah? Want something to drink?”

“You’re perfect.” Shiro sighs. “Water please.”

Keith is happy to oblige. 

Once they’ve cleaned up enough evidence of their dry humping escapade, Keith turns a shitty movie on and goes right back to curling up with Shiro on the sofa, eyes closed with his head resting on his chest. It’s his new favorite place lately. 

“Feeling good about everything?”

“Mhm.” Keith gives a sleepy smile. “Feeling great.”

“You just let me know whenever you feel comfortable trying anything else, yeah?” Shiro says with a kiss to the top of his head. “We do have that hotel night in Japan you know. Maybe after the competition-”

Keith freezes up, his chest tightening at the thought of Shiro wanting to move further so soon, but Shiro seems to feel the change immediately, cutting himself off. 

“Hey, hey, nevermind.” Shiro whispers, stroking Keith’s back. “We don’t have to do a thing. We could have a chick flick marathon.”

“I feel bad.” Keith sighs. “I mean you’re… you. Anyone would yank your pants down the second they got you alone, but I’m just…” The words get stuck in his mouth. He’s just what? So traumatized that he seizes up at the possibility of having sex with his boyfriend? 

“Don’t feel bad.” Shiro confirms with another kiss to the forehead. “I’m with you because I love spending time with you. Sex can wait as long as you want it too. I like taking it slow too.”

“Thanks, Shiro.” Keith breathes, relaxing back into his touch. 

“You know you can talk to me about anything though, right?”

“Yeah.” Keith grimaces, hiding his face in Shiro’s shirt as he mumbles his answer. “I know.”

*** * * * * **

Keith makes it his personal goal not to let room sharing anxiety shake his confidence for competition. Both of them have a gold medal already, whoever wins in Japan will be most likely to win at the final too. Not that this competition necessarily cements Keith’s future, but the score difference will be telling. 

Shiro is sweet as can be about the whole thing, all smiles and friendly waves to fans who point their cameras their way at the airport, keeping a calculated friendly distance from Keith, but tugging him off for a ‘bathroom break’ every now and then just to give him a few kisses in seclusion. 

It does do wonders for Keith’s mood. He’s usually a monster at the airport, but Shiro seems to have him lulled into a well behaved love trance. Plus, he feels guilty that Shiro seems so excited to share a room and compete together while Keith has an internal meltdown over the whole thing. The worst part is he would love to share a room, even a bed with Shiro, but not knowing whether or not he’ll have a nightmare puts a damper on the entire thing. 

It’s late when they land in Japan, already time to get checked in and try to go to sleep, so they can get up early and shake off the jet lag to compete the next day. Men’s singles will be the first group to go, so there isn’t too much time for rest. 

There are photographers when they step up off the plane, all fighting to get a shot of Keith’s new scar. He forces a smile and gives a few friendly waves while Shiro beams next to him, waving enthusiastically and greeting each passing reporter as they make their way with Coran out of the airport, lead by a security guard. 

“You okay?” Shiro asks once they’re in the back of a cab, Coran chatting away with the driver in the front seat as Keith stares out the window. It’s already dark and the view in the distance of the city at night is beautiful, but his stomach is in knots. 

“Just tired.” Keith says, untensing a little bit when Shiro puts a hand on his knee and squeezes. Keith puts his hand on top of his.

“I’ll let you get right to bed then.” Shiro smiles. “I promise I don’t snore.”

“I’m pretty sure I do.” Keith laughs a bit, still nervous for what may happen tonight, but ignoring Shiro doesn’t make him feel any better. He shifts instead, resting his head on Shiro’s shoulder and shutting his eyes. 

“Oh and uh…” Shiro lowers his voice. “Someone had an injury and Adam got their grand prix assignment. If he medals next week, he’ll probably be in the final with us, so don’t punch him in the face or anything okay?”

“Ugh.” Keith scrunches his nose. “Not even just a little?”

“Nope.”

“Kick in the balls?”

“No.” Shiro laughs. “Play nice. He just um… throws me off a bit, so it’ll be nice having you around to keep me focused in December.”

Keith hopes so. 

The ride to the hotel isn’t too long and Keith is drowsy by the time they get there, grumpy that he can’t lean on Shiro when they’re in the public space of the hotel lobby.

Coran handles check in and hands them each their room key, giving a quick pep talk about tomorrow that Keith tunes out, jet lagged, drowsy, and anxious as his coach drones on about focus and determination and skating their best against each other. 

When he’s done, Keith follows Shiro to the elevators, tugging his suitcase behind him and taking a few deep breaths when they ride up to the eighth floor. 

“Oh.” Shiro blinks when he opens the door to their room. “Uh… I’m really sorry, Keith. I didn’t know this is what he booked.”

“Coran.” Keith grumbles, gritting his teeth as he stares at the king sized bed. The  _ single _ king sized bed. Either Coran’s trying to play matchmaker or cheaped out big time, but when Keith glances over at Shiro he sees a flash of hurt in his eyes. Shit. Shiro can see he looks pissed off about the single bed and not just… nervous or excited like a normal boyfriend would be. 

“Hey, I can sleep on the couch.” Shiro says, cocking his head to the couch against the bay window on the far wall. “I know you’re not comfortable with-”

“No, no.” Keith sighs. His boundaries are one thing, but he isn’t going to make Shiro feel bad over this. It’s not his fault and scared as he is that he’ll have an episode, Keith does like to cuddle with him and everything. He’ll face his fear and share a bed before he lets Shiro sleep on a sofa the night before a competition. 

Keith takes a quick glance down both ends of the hallway to make sure it’s empty before giving Shiro a kiss on the cheek. “We can share the bed. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Shiro’s cheeks turn the slightest bit pink. 

“I’m sure.” Keith nods before finally lugging his suitcase over the threshold and setting his things down, so he can kick his shoes off. 

“Well let me know if you change your mind.” Shiro says, locking the door before he kicks his shoes off as well and unzips his suitcase. 

Keith tries not to be obvious with his staring as Shiro changes into some cozier clothes, pretending to busy himself with his own suitcase as he watches out of the corner of his eye. Christ, the sight of Shiro’s bare torso alone makes his face flush, but when Shiro drops his jeans to pull on a pair of sweats, Keith sees the bulge in his underwear and has to take a deep breath to settle down before grabbing his own change of clothes. Should he change in the bathroom?

“God, it’s good to lie down.” Shiro groans as he flops down on the bed, rolling onto his stomach and smiling up at Keith. Keith swears he’s arching his back a little on purpose. 

“Um.” Keith glances down at his clothes and Shiro blushes. 

“Oh. I-I won’t look or anything. Want to change in the bathroom?”

“No, um, it’s fine. I mean, that’d be dumb right?” Keith hates how nervous his laugh sounds, but he just hasn’t gotten undressed in front of Shiro yet. 

“It’s not dumb. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Ugh, sometimes Keith swears thing would be easier if Shiro  _ wasn’t _ the most understanding human being on the face of the Earth. He wonders bitterly for a second where all this compassion was when Shiro left him stranded all those years ago, but he shakes the thought off quickly, reminding himself that the man he’s dating is the one lying on a hotel bed right now, not just the one he remembers leaving.

“It’s fine.” Keith swallows, heart thumping a bit as he carefully peels out of his shirt.

“You’re gorgeous.” Shiro sighs as Keith slips into the clean shirt and takes his time unbuttoning his jeans. 

“I’d hope so with all the training we’ve been put through.” Keith manages to tease him even with his heart racing as he drops his jeans, allowing Shiro’s eyes to not so subtly glance over the slight bulge of his cock before he steps into a pair of shorts and kicks his old clothes to the side. 

“An ass like this is definitely not for the faint of heart.” Shiro actually wiggles his ass a bit with the joke and it’s dorky enough to make Keith snort, putting him at ease a little more when Shiro pats the empty space ont he bed next to him. “Come get cozy. I’ll find a movie or something to watch until we can sleep. Big day tomorrow.”

“Yeah, big day of getting your ass kicked.” Keith yawns as he lays down next to Shiro, close enough for their legs to touch. 

“Not without a fight.”

“Good.” Keith smiles, rolling over and indulging himself in the cuddling he’s gotten so accustomed to, feeling himself untense when he presses into Shiro’s side and feels his arm around his shoulders. He’s anxious as all hell about falling asleep, but he can enjoy this part. 

“Comfy?”

“Yeah.” Keith mumbles as he settles his head on Shiro’s chest, taking comfort in his heartbeat. If he can make it through this night, he actually can’t wait to skate tomorrow. He wants to give his all against Shiro, show he’s not just a worthy opponent on the ice, but that he’s on the same playing field with his boyfriend. Even if no one outside the rink knows about them, he knows. He wants to be Shiro’s equal in every way that he can. 

They eventually find some stupid movie to watch and Keith shuts his eyes, letting Shiro play with his hair. Geeze, maybe he will fall asleep. He’s exhausted from the plane ride, the bed is soft, Shiro is warm, and the hand in his hair is as good as a massage. He keeps his eyes closed.

Near the end of the movie, Keith forgets what he was worried about, his eyes heavy with jet lag and his breath evening out as the audio of the movie starts to turn to fuzz in the background. Eventually he hears Shiro turn it off, feels him pull the blanket up over his shoulders, and he’s gone. 

Keith has never considered himself lucky. If there’s a chance of something going wrong, it probably will. He’s worked through hardship his entire career and plenty of the shit he’s been through has just been through terrible luck of the draw. This isn’t one of his lucky nights. 

Sleeping in a new environment is a common trigger for night terrors. It’s part of why Keith always has his own room and despite how safe he’d felt falling asleep with Shiro, his nightmare is the same as usual. 

The cold tile, the lockers, the rough hands in unfamiliar places, the pain, the-

“Keith, baby, wake up.” 

A harsh whisper and a hand on his shoulder startles Keith awake, the bedside lamp on and Shiro looking at him terrified when Keith jerks awake and blinks his eyes. It takes Keith a moment to get his bearings, realize where he is before he feels it.  _ No _ .  _ No, no, no,  _ fuck _ no this isn’t happening _ . 

“Don’t touch me.” Keith rasps upon the realization, sitting himself up as sobs bubble up in his chest at the feeling of wetness beneath his hips. This couldn’t have fucking happened. Not tonight,  _ why tonight? _ “Oh my god.” He sobs, holding his head in his hands. “Please don’t look at me. I-I need you to go away. Please, please go somewhere else, don’t look.”

“Keith.” Shiro breathes, still kneeling next to him on the mattress. “Keith you sounded  _ terrified _ , let me help you. I’m not leaving you alone like this. Don’t be embarrassed, it’s okay.”

“How is it okay?!” Keith cries, shaking as he keeps his face hidden. He can’t meet Shiro’s eyes. Fuck, what if he said something in his sleep too? How much does Shiro know? At hotels, he usually sleeps on towels too just in case but he couldn’t do that this time and he doesn’t know what to do about wetting a hotel bed, or how he’ll explain the charge to Coran, or… He breaks down in tears, hanging his head low as he cries, helpless and humiliated. Nothing had felt better than being with Shiro and now he’s going to lose that too. Who on Earth would want to date someone with a problem like this, who won’t even put out for them after months of dating?

“Honey, please talk to me. Hey, let me help you.” Shiro’s voice is so kind, Keith can’t believe him. “Everything’s okay.”

“Y-You don’t have to pretend you’re not fucking disgusted right now.”

“Keith, I’m  _ not _ . I’m worried about you. I don’t care about the bed.” 

Keith finally looks up at him, his eyes red and puffy, hiccupping as he takes in the concern in Shiro’s eyes. He still looks genuine, the same concern he had when Keith was sick and Shiro took care of him. “You don’t have to be nice to me.”

Shiro’s eyes look like they’re watering too. “Keith, I’m your boyfriend. I care about you. You don’t have to explain any of this to me, but please let me help you, okay? You’re clearly terrified. I’m not judging you, just let me calm you down.” 

Keith’s mouth wobbles and he shifts in the cold spot he’s sitting in. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“What do you mean?” Keith sniffles. 

“I have cash.” Shiro shrugs. “It’s okay. We’ll put some towels down for tonight, rotate the covers, so you’re not sleeping with the wet spot, and we’ll leave a note and a big tip for the cleaning crew in the morning. It’s no big deal.”

“H-How do you know that’s even what you do in this situation?” Keith blushes, feeling some deeper kind of humiliation that not only has he had an accident in a bed with Shiro, but that Shiro’s the one taking care of it. 

“I have really bad night sweats sometimes.” Shiro says, running a hand through his hair as he glances off to the side. “My anxiety was really bad when I first got to Japan. Soaked plenty of hotel sheets before and I’m uh… prone to nightmares a bit too.”

“...Okay.” Keith swallows. “Th-Thank you um, but I-I’ll pay for you to get another room. You don’t have to sleep like this, o-or look at me, I’ll just-”

“Keith, I don’t want to sleep some place else.” Shiro assures him, reaching his hand back over to squeeze Keith’s shoulder. “Get up. I’ll take care of the bed while you change clothes.”

“Are you sure?” Keith’s breath hitches as he wipes the tear tracks off his cheeks. “I’m so sorry about this, Takashi, I-I feel horrible and humiliated and-”

“Baby.” Shiro murmurs, leaning in and kissing the center of Keith’s forehead. “I don’t know what you were dreaming about, but I suspect this is a reason you’ve wanted to take things so slow, yeah?”

Keith gives a weak nod, his chest seizing. Shiro has to know the jist of it by now. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything until you’re ready to, but I need you to know I’m never going to judge you, okay? I love you and-” Shiro freezes, his eyes blowing wide. “I-I mean, I… I-I um, I mean I like…”

“Did you just…?” Keith blinks at him for a moment, staring back at Shiro, until he realizes what a deer in the headlights Shiro looks like and Keith actually snorts out a laugh. “Shiro, you  _ didn’t _ .”

“ _ Ughhh _ !” Shiro groans, hiding his own face in his hands. “I was gonna wait until you said it first and make it special and shit! Fuck, I’m sorry, Keith.”

Keith reaches out and pulls him in by the collar, pressing his lips against Shiro’s. No one’s ever said that to him before - no one other than fans. It makes him believe this god damn unbelievable kindness that Shiro radiates no matter how difficult Keith is with him might actually be real. Who else would say “I love you” for the first time at three in the morning on a damp matress? 

“I love you too.” Keith answers, his voice hoarse from crying, his words still shaky, but he’s smiling. Then he kisses Shiro again. 

They stay like that for a moment, sharing soft little kisses and teasing each other until Shiro’s got Keith smiling for good again and he starts to get too uncomfortable to stay put in the wet spot. 

“Do you want to take a bath or a shower at all?” Shiro asks. “I can get the water running for you.”

“I’ll take a quick bath.” Keith sighs. “I’m sorry again. This doesn’t happen that often, just now and then.”

“That’s okay. Odds are you’ll have to deal with my night sweats at some point. They happen a lot when I’m super stressed, so around the time of the final. We’re in this together.” Shiro plants a kiss on Keith’s forehead again and peels out of bed to go run the water in the bathroom. “I’ll get it warmed up for you, yeah?”

“You’re my boyfriend not my butler.”

“I can be both.” Shiro says as he disappears into the bathroom. 

Keith’s eyes are still watery and he still feels disgusted with himself when he gets out of bed, his clothes damp. He ponders for a moment which is worse - letting Shiro see him in the wet clothes, or just undressing. Shiro hasn’t seen him naked yet. 

He takes a deep breath. His worst nightmare just happened and Shiro’s still being so loving and accepting. It doesn’t ease his humiliation, but… if he can stay here after this and still feel safe with Shiro, he can be naked in front of him. 

He peels out of his clothes and drops them on the floor, his face warm and heart pounding as he listens to Shiro prep the bath. 

“I think it’s warm enough now, babe.” Shiro says as he emerges from the bathroom before stopping cold, his face flushing pink as he looks over Keith. “Keith.” He breathes. “Y-You’re um…”

“Yeah.” Keith swallows, walking up to him and looking down. “Um, I just figured… I mean, it’s okay to let you see me naked and stuff now. Since you’re being so cool about me um…” His eyes water again as he tries to find the word to describe it without saying  _ accident _ outloud. 

“Oh, baby.” Shiro sighs, putting his hands on Keith’s waist as he looks him over in awe, eyes hovering on his chest, then his abs, sneaking a quick not-so-subtle glance at Keith’s dick that makes his heart thump again. “You’re beautiful. I mean, I’ve seen you in those crazy sexy costumes and I’ve seen you in your underwear, but this is just…” He stops and grins, leaning in to give Keith a kiss. “Thank you for showing me, Keith.” He nuzzles their noses together. “Want me to give you your privacy for the bath or-”

“Come with me.” Keith says on impulse. He’d rather stay with Shiro than be by himself and let his anxious thoughts creep back. 

“You sure?”

Keith nods and blushes as he lets Shiro take him into the bathroom. The tub is huge and full of hot water. He practically swoons thinking about soaking in it after the competition, but for now he takes Shiro’s hand and steps in, groaning as he sinks down into the water. “Holy shit, this feels nice.”

“Yeah?” Shiro smiles, kneeling by the tub and pushing Keith’s hair out of his eyes, tucking it back behind his ear. 

“I’m sorry for keeping you up so late.” Keith says as Shiro strokes his hair, nuzzling into his touch. “Mm.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Keith glances up and catches Shiro staring down at his lap, his face warming again. It feels good for Shiro to look at him that way. Keith doesn’t feel preyed on, or anxious, he actually feels… kind of nice. “My eyes are up here.” He teases just to watch Shiro’s face flash red. 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Shiro laughs as he diverts his eyes. “You’re just…”

Keith’s heart thumps. “You’re seriously not grossed out entirely with me?”

“Of course not.” Shiro shakes his head. “Whatever makes you have those night terrors, it’s clearly something serious and I would never judge you. It’s also uh…” His eyes drift back to Keith’s cock under the water. “Kind of impossible not to find you attractive.”

Keith feels his dick twitch at the intention and his face goes bright red for the thousandth time that night just as the hand Shiro’s stroking his hair with grazes his ear and he sighs. 

“You like that?” Shiro smiles, brushing his thumb over the shell and Keith tries not to preen. He’s sensitive there and it makes his heart hammer when Shiro leans down and kisses it. 

“Takashi.” Keith whines. 

“Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to seduce you after you had a nightmare like that, but-”

“Fuck.” Keith cuts him off, chewing on his lower lip as he looks down at the obvious semi he’s sporting. He doesn’t feel scared anymore after the mortifying experience he had when he woke up and now he even feels safe again. He thinks he might want Shiro to touch him… Does he? Will he freak out once Shiro actually starts?

“Keith?”

“Sorry, I just…” Keith takes a deep breath and sinks a little deeper into the hot water before reaching for Shiro’s hand and squeezing it. “W-Would you touch me?”

Shiro’s eyes blow wide. “Really? You sure?”

Keith shakes his head. “Not sure. Stop if I want you to.”

“Of course.” Shiro breathes, pressing a kiss to Keith’s forehead as he dips one hand into the water, just rubbing it down Keith’s thigh. 

Keith feels his skin buzzing in response. He  _ does  _ want this. Watching Shiro’s hand slide up and down his thigh, inching closer to his cock on every stroke, he  _ wants  _ Shiro to touch him. 

“How’s this?” Shiro asks, his voice low and soft as he wraps his hand around Keith’s cock under the water and gives it one careful upstroke. 

Keith gasps at the smallest motion and nods his head. How does Shiro’s hand feel  _ so much better _ than his own? He can’t even compare it to the dark memories in his head, this feels  _ good _ . “More.” He huffs and Shiro complies. 

Keith knows his virginity must be blatantly obvious. He knows it’s just a handjob, the lowest rung of the sexual ladder, but he can’t stop squirming with pleasure as Shiro starts to truly jerk him off, sending water splashing over the side as Keith wraps his wet arms around Shiro’s neck to kiss him. Shiro kisses him back with an equal amount of heat and passion and for the first time, Keith has to break the kiss because he’s  _ moaning _ . Not the soft whimpers he allows himself when they dry hump, but a low gutteral moan that escapes him before he can stop it because Shiro’s hand feels so  _ fucking _ good and his eyes roll back when Shiro plays with his tip. He’s sensitive there too and his head tips back when Shiro starts to give his balls attention. “ _ Fuuuck _ , Shiro please.”

“God, baby, you sound incredible.” Shiro whispers before nibbling on Keith’s ear and he cries out again, trembling as he pushes his hips up to meet Shiro’s hand. He must look ridiculous, this turned on and frantic over a handjob, but it’s his first time it’s ever felt good.  _ This _ is what sex is supposed to feel like. He doesn’t want to stop, he doesn’t feel uncomfortable, he wants Shiro to make him come and he’s about to. “So you like it when I do this?” He rubs his thumb around the tip and Keith’s head tips back over the edge of the tub. “You’re so fucking special. Jesus, Keith. 

“Gonna come.” Keith whimpers, his toes curling under the water. “Gonna come, gonna come, k-keep going.”

“You got it, love.” Shiro murmurs as he strokes him a little faster, his grip tight, but not too tight considering the water washes away the slickness of any pre-come. 

Keith grabs onto him and trembles as he feels it build in the pit of his stomach, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing deeply to stay grounded in the moment until the wave breaks and he’s coming. He’s not coming in his jeans while he writhes against Shiro fully clothed, he’s naked. He’s naked while Shiro is clothed and he feels  _ safe _ even as he lets Shiro see him at his most vulnerable - mouth hanging open in a silent scream as he comes in ribbons over Shiro’s fist and into the water, thighs shaking like he’s been electrocuted. 

“Wow.” Shiro breathes when Keith finishes, relaxing right into his touch. “Keith, you’re fucking amazing. I mean holy shit, you come like a freight train.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Keith lets out a nervous laugh as he sits himself up and keeps his arms around Shiro’s shoulders, tucking his head into the crook of his neck. 

“It’s an awesome thing.” Shiro laughs too and kisses the top of his head. “Thank you for trusting me to do that. I can’t tell you how beautiful you are.”

“Do you need me to take care of you?”

Shiro shakes his head and nudges Keith’s head up, so he can give him a proper kiss. “We need to get you back to bed. Big day tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Keith’s shoulders slump. “The bed.”

“I’ll take care of that right now.” Shiro says with another peck to Keith’s lips. “Wash up and relax a few more minutes. Do you have something else to sleep in?”

“Fuck. I don’t.” Keith sighs. “I have underwear.”

“It’s chilly, so take one of my t-shirts.” Shiro stands up from the tub and leans down to give Keith yet another kiss - on the top of his head this time. “Give me five minutes, I’ll fix things up out there.”

“Thank you.” Keith swallows, the embarrassment creeping back, but he shakes it off. He washes himself with some hotel soap and leaves his hair dry, so he won’t have to deal with it being messy in the morning before stepping out to dry off. 

When he walks into the bedroom again, towel around his waist, Shiro’s replaced the sheets and flipped the comforter, a towel over the wet spot, so Keith can sleep. Keith’s clothes are soaking in the kitchenette sink and Shiro’s laid out a t-shirt for him. Keith’s heart practically melts at the sight. Shiro just keeps taking care of him no matter how many excuses Keith gives him to leave. Maybe he can tell Shiro the truth soon. 

“You don’t have to do all this for me.”

“You took care of me when I got back to the States with no friends and a scandal on my back.” Shiro chuckles as he walks up to press his lips against Keith’s, a short sweet kiss that makes Keith want to stand on his tip toes. “I’m your boyfriend even if it’s some huge secret to the public. I’m here for you.”

“You can’t keep being this perfect all the time. You’re gonna set the bar too high for the other boyfriends of the world. There’ll be inflation.” Keith sighs as he pulls away to get a fresh pair of boxers from his suitcase. Somehow, he feels fine dropping his towel in front of Shiro and stepping into them. Now that Shiro’s seen him naked, it feels easier to undress. 

He takes the oversized t-shirt Shiro laid out for him and sighs, breathing in the distinctly Shiro scent that’s woven into the fabric as he turns to Shiro and pulls him into a hug. “Thanks for everything, Takashi.”

“Of course.” Shiro says with a squeeze, holding Keith close for a moment before pulling away to usher him into bed. “I set our alarm for the morning. Try to get as much sleep as you can.”

Keith slides into bed and waits for Shiro to shut the lights off and get in too before he moves over to be close to him. “This okay?” He asks when he tucks himself under Shiro’s arm, resting his head on his chest. 

“Yeah.” Shiro grins, wrapping his arms right around Keith and kissing his forehead. “You don’t need to ask. You can always snuggle up with me. You’re super warm, it’s nice.”

“I’m just a heating pad to you, huh?” Keith teases as he slings a leg up over Shiro’s hips and shuts his eyes, relaxing completely into Shiro’s touch. He’s never been this comfortable with another person. “Thanks, Takashi.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Shiro says as he strokes his hand down Keith’s back. “Sweet dreams, yeah?”

“Mhm.” Keith mumbles, already half asleep again. “I’m gonna kick your ass tomorrow.”

“Only if I let you.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Shiro snorts and pulls the covers up over Keith’s shoulders. “You’re gonna be great tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Shiro.”

“But so am I, so-”

“Shut  _ upppp _ .”

* * * * *

Keith feels good in the morning. He wakes up in the arms of a world champion, gets his blood pumping with a morning makeout session, and they head to the rink together. 

There’s a scourge of cameras photographing them when they enter side by side. Keith actually blushes for a moment before he realizes they’re still just teammates in public. They give polite waves, a few soundbites, before doing a quick change and taking the ice. 

Keith sighs to himself once they get to practice, whizzing across the ice in quick power cross overs, feeling the cut of the icy air against his skin, the way it invigorates him. He attempts his quad lutz and lands it perfectly. If he can pull it off like that in the competition, he’ll be golden. Literally. Looking over his shoulder, he sees Shiro pull of a gorgeous quad loop, but it only makes him smile wider. That’s his boyfriend. Keith’s gonna give him a run for his money. 

They break separately for lunch to avoid putting a spotlight on their new public “friendship” and Keith is thankful Allura is skating today too. They grab a salad and a cup of coffee at a place down the street from the rink and he  _ finally  _ has something juicy to share with her - even if he leaves out the preceding incident. 

“He did that to you in the  _ bath? _ ” Allura raises her eyebrows. “You’re making every teenage girl subconsciously cry in envy right now. You’re sure this whole one bed thing was an accident?”

“I know it’s a cliche, but I think it was. I don’t know.” Keith shrugs. “Whatever though, I really liked sharing a bed with him. If we can keep sharing rooms when we’re at the same competition, it’d actually be kind of nice. Free vacation?”

“Is it really a vacation if practice is at five a.m.?”

“It is if I get to see Shiro’s dick in between.”

“...Fair enough.”

It’s not long after lunch that it’s time for the short program. Keith changes in a corner of the locker room to avoid the temptation to look at Shiro and because locker rooms are  _ never _ a comfortable situation for him, but he still feels his face go red when he sees Shiro in his costume. Those tights on  _ that _ ass should be a mandatory deduction at the least. It’s a lethal distraction.

“Good luck.” Shiro winks when no one is watching them too closely, pulling his skate laces tight and snapping plastic guards onto his blades before he saunters out of the locker room, literally  _ swaying _ . Cocky motherfucker. He’s lucky Keith’s not trying to give him a boner, because Shiro can’t hide a thing in that costume. 

They each get their own pep talk from Coran after the six minute warm up and take their separate ice side seats to wait for their turn to skate. They’re each in the second group. Shiro’s second to last and Keith is closing out the short program. It’s a lot of pressure, but Keith is comfortable knowing he’ll at least know for sure what Shiro’s score is when he takes to the ice. 

The field at this competition isn’t particularly deep. Keith watches without too much tension as the other skaters fight for bronze. There’s a lot of promising up and comers, a kid making their senior debut to a Queen song that reminds Keith a bit of himself. But no one’s doing more than one quad except for him and Shiro, the spins are slow, and there’s plenty of falls. The judges seem pretty generous, not taxing too many people’s grades of executions for under rotations, or step outs. 

When Shiro takes the ice, Keith has to still himself from cheering for him as loud as he wants to and instead claps politely with everyone else, his heart thumping in his chest from a mix of nerves and utter affection. Shiro looks beautiful out there. The blue velvet top clings to his chest, a shallow v-neck just barely showing off the broadness of his chest, an unusual characteristic for a figure skater, but what Shiro lacks in quick rotation, he makes up for in the inhuman height of his jumps. Black tights draw Keith’s attention to a slight bulge he should  _ not _ be trying to ogle in public, but Keith is only human. 

Shiro’s program starts to a sweeping slide of a guitar and Keith bites his nails to stay casual. He wants Shiro to do well, but he also wants to be able to beat him. Still, he shivers when Shiro rolls his hips to the music and gasps when he goes for a quad salchow. Shiro makes it in a risky landing, saving himself from a fall with a deep knee bend and a quick adjustment of balance before he moves into a gorgeous camel spin. He nails his triple axel, the slice of his blade against the ice audible through the whole arena and Keith’s mouth waters at his step sequence. Seeing Shiro with a little sex appeal dashed onto his program is a sight for sore eyes. Shiro’s final jumping pass takes a bit of a hit. He lands a perfect quad lutz, but steps hard on the triple toe in combination. It’ll cost him some points - maybe enough for Keith to nudge him into second. 

Regardless of his chances, Keith whoops and hollers when Shiro finishes, forgetting the cameras for a moment when Shiro locks eyes with him and Keith beams, giving two huge thumbs up before he rises from his seat and hands his skate guards off to Coran, hopping right onto the ice to warm up as Shiro heads to the kiss and cry for his score, Coran following to go with him. 

Keith does his best to clear his mind as he skates a lap or two around the ice, pops out a few waltz jumps to get a feel for the ice, but he hears Shiro’s score. It’s a good one.

_ “The score please… for Takashi Shirogane of Japan in the short program, score is… one hundren and eight point seven.” _

Damn. The judges really didn’t dock him hard for that major step out at all, or the dodgy landing at the beginning it seems, but Keith doesn’t let it bother him. If the judge panel is being forgiving, he can expect the same courtesy. 

He takes his position at center ice and moves into his choreography with confidence as his music starts. He loves Radiohead, even if  _ Creep _ is a bit of an overplayed single. It’s palatable enough for the judges, but still showcases his edge and his personality. He dances to the music with a deep Ina Bauer, taking a little pride in showing off his flexibility so blatantly in front of Shiro, followed by a high kick and then a perfect triple axel for his first jumping pass. He’s killing it. 

He goes into a doughnut spin as the chorus hits, straightening up into a shallow Bielman (a rare skill in the men’s field) as the music swells. He’s the most flexible person in the competition and he knows it’ll give him a safety buffer in his presentation score as he skates out of the spin and through his transitional steps to the next pass. He’s fast too and he’s feeling confident today. 

Skating backwards at lightning speed, he leaps right off a perfect edge into his quad loop and hits his combining triple toe without hesitation, whooping a silent cheer in his head when he comes out of it. He’s  _ killing _ this. He’s gonna come out ahead of Shiro, holy  _ shit _ . 

He hits his final quad lutz with a perfection he rarely even achieves in practice and hears the audience erupt with applause as he enters his final choreography sequence, finishing the routine off with a rapid scratch spin into a dramatic ending pose, falling on his knees and lying back on the ice with his hand reaching up just as the music ends. Did he just have the skate of his life at his second event at the season?

He lays on the ice for a moment, savoring the feeling as a handful of flowers, stuffed animals, and even a pride flag or two rain down onto the ice. Volunteer flower girls sweep in to collect the gifts and Keith meets Shiro’s eyes as soon as he gets back on his feet. Shiro is grinning at him just as wide and gives the same double thumbs up Keith had given him. Keith could cry it makes him so happy as he skates off the ice and falls into a hug from Coran - and Keith  _ never _ takes his hugs. 

“Great job, my boy!” Coran hollers as he hugs him. “Come on now, let’s get that score. I think you might be looking at gold, especially if you can do that again for the free skate.”

“Yeah, seriously. I think I actually might.” Keith laughs, his cheeks hurting from smiling as he sits down to wait for his scores, sliding his team jacket back on. It doesn’t take as long as it usually does and Keith’s heart beats in his throat when the intercom crackles. 

“The score please… for Keith Kogane of the United States in the short program, score is… one hundred and four point one. He is currently in second place.”

“Huh?” Keith blinks, looking over at Coran with his heart sinking. “H-How did that happen? That was the best I’ve ever skated.”

“I… I don’t know, Keith.” Coran frowns. “Come on. Let’s go get your score breakdown.”

When Keith stands up, he catches Shiro’s gaze again. He looks guilty now and it makes Keith’s stomach feel tight. He doesn’t want to feel resentful, but honestly, it’s not the first time he’s been underscored against Shiro. It’s partially a good sign that the scandal isn’t affecting Shiro’s scores, but they’re almost guaranteed to both be going to the final. How is Keith going to have a shot at beating Shiro if the judges don’t score him fairly? He walks with Coran to get the packet of scoring breakdowns, trying not to look like an ungrateful asshole in front of the surrounding cameras, but he kind of wants to cry. He doesn’t even  _ care _ that much about a silver medal at this event, but he cares like hell about a silver medal at the final. He can’t let this precedent be set. 

“What did it?” Keith asks as he walks back down into the backstage area of the rink with Coran, his guards clacking on the cement floor. 

“Hm.” Coran grimaces. “Well, they called a flat edge on your lutz and marked your triple toe as slightly underrorated.”

“What?” Keith’s heart sinks to his stomach. “There’s no way, I-I could have sworn I nailed those. Maybe a small underrotation on the toe, but my lutz edge was on. Did they dock Shiro?”

Coran flips a page. “Actually, he still got an ever so slightly positive GOE on that first jump and less than negative one on the step out.”

“Are you  _ kidding? _ ” Keith fumes. “What the fuck?! How the hell am I supposed to win the final when the fucking piece of shit judges are giving  _ him _ all the special treatment in the world, what am I going to-”

“Keith?” Shiro steps in through the currents separating backstage from the ice and looks at him with glassy eyes. “Baby, hey I-I would never ever want to win over you like this. I’m so sorry, I-”

“I don’t want to talk to you about this right now.” Keith huffs, taking the papers from Coran’s hands and glaring down at the score. “Why is your PCS so much higher than mine? I can get my foot over my head and  _ you _ just-” He catches the biting tone he’s speaking in and cuts himself off, seeing the twinge of hurt in Shiro’s eyes. He takes a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m just… it’s frustrating.”

“Keith, you can’t take the judge’s errors out on your teammates.” Coran says. “Go get changed, have a long shower, and reset your mind for tomorrow. You can’t control the scoring, but regardless, if you want a fighting chance, you need to skate perfectly tomorrow too. Don’t let your temper get in the way of that.” Coran towards to Shiro next. “And you. Don’t let these errors today make you think they’ll be forgiven again. Both of you need to be bringing your A-Game. Are we clear?”

Keith gives a bitter nod and sees Shiro give a defeated one as well. 

“Good. I’ll see you both tomorrow morning.” Coran claps Keith on the back before heading off, leaving him alone with Shiro in the hallway. 

“Keith, I’m really sorry. I-If I could change my score, I honestly would. I don’t want to win on my mistakes being ignored and you skated  _ so _ incredibly today. I’ve never seen you like that.”

“I guess I just felt good after last night.” Keith grimaces. “I was feeling so confident, but now I just feel like shit. I mean I put out a skate like that and I’m still second best, how am I gonna have a shot at the final?”

“We’re skating in Japan. You know a country will always do their best to homecook their scores. I’m skating in the states now, but I still skate reperesenting Japan. I have a homefield advantage and I know that sucks and it’s not fair in the slightest, but don’t let it shake your confidence for the final.” Shiro walks up to him and puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder, squeezing as he looks at him with what has to be the world’s cutest puppy dog eyes. “Don’t hate me?” He winces. 

“I don’t hate you.” Keith sighs. “You’re… the best, I just wish you could take a break from being the best on the ice too.”

“Hopefully things will go better tomorrow. Don’t let it get you down.” Shiro looks around to make sure there’s no one else before pressing a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “You want to go back to the hotel and relax? We can get away from all the cameras and just hang out for a bit.”

Keith’s shoulders slump. He’s being an asshole. Shiro can’t help shitty judging and taking it out on Shiro is just going to make both of them feel like garbage. He had a really good skate today. He shouldn’t let judging politics take that away from him. “Yeah, let’s go back. Sorry for being a dick.”

“You have a right to be angry, I’m pissed off for you too.” Shiro sighs. “It’s not fair. But at least we know we’re both going to the final, yeah? It won’t take that from you.”

“I mean, if I blow it hard tomorrow, I could blow the final too.” Keith grimaces. 

“But you’re not going to.” Shiro says, his hand coming to Keith’s shoulder and squeezing. “Judges suck, but you were incredible today. Let’s get back to the room. I’ll make it up to you.”

Keith takes a deep breath, forcing out the remaining tension before he nods and follows Shiro to the locker room to get changed. He wouldn’t mind a repeat of what happened last night in the tub if he can feel comfortable enough again. 

They do a quick change and take a cab back to the hotel, Keith itching to get some privacy. He feels like it’s a good sign that he’s feeling horny - a sign he might not backslide and feel too uncomfortable again. Shiro’s still in tights and even the tight jacket he has on doesn’t leave too much to the imagination. Keith wants him. He also wants to forget the shitty score he was just given.

He sticks close to Shiro’s side when they arrive, staying relatively quiet as they make their way to the elevators. 

“You okay?” Shiro asks when the metal doors slide shut. 

“Um... “ Keith blushes. “I’m sorry for being a dick earlier. If you feel up to it, I-I um…” He clears his throat. “I-I kinda wanna maybe do more of um… the thing you did to me last night.”

Shiro’s eyes light up at the same time the elevator dings on their floor. “We can do that.” He steps out into the hallway and takes a quick look around before taking Keith’s hand and leading him to their room. “What do you feel up to?” He asks as soon as the door shuts, setting their bags down, so his hands can come up to hold Keith’s hips.

“I’m not sure exactly.” Keith swallows. “Maybe um, we stick to hands, but we can both be naked o-or something?” He feels his heart start to beat in his throat. 

“Just say stop if you need to.” Shiro says, smiling as he leans in to catch Keith in a kiss. It starts chaste, but warms up quickly. Keith realizes he hasn’t let Shiro undress him before, so he takes a moment to fortify himself, then lets him. 

Shiro goes slow, giving Keith any opportunity to say stop, to guide his hands elsewhere, but Keith lets it happen. He shivers when Shiro unzips his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders and kissing down his neck as he works his shirt up. He bends down, takes Keith’s nipple in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around the bud until Keith whines and Shiro pulls away to tug the shirt off entirely. 

Shiro takes care of himself next, undressing himself entirely while Keith watches, letting Keith take in the view of him completely naked before him before Shiro slowly, carefully eases Keith out of his leggings, pausing only to ogle the thong Keith had worn underneath. He palms his ass and runs his hand over Keith’s cock through the fabric, glancing up to make sure Keith isn’t objecting, which he isn’t. He’s nervous, but once again, this doesn’t remind him of the bad experiences he had before. This is different. 

It’s not long before Keith is lying over Shiro underneath the covers, exploring his mouth with his tongue while he jerks him off with one hand and runs the other through Shiro’s hair. His heart is hammering and he keeps breaking the kiss to gasp every time Shiro strokes him a little faster, or stops to thumb his tip, always oversensitive. He’s sweating and writhing, fumbling to keep a steady rhythm as he strokes his hand over Shiro’s cock, the girth almost too much to make a proper fist around it as he whimpers against Shiro’s lips. It almost feels better this way. It feels better when they’re both naked. Keith doesn’t feel so protective of himself.

“Keith.” Shiro pants, nuzzling their noses together as he slows his hand on Keith’s cock, smearing pre-come down the shaft and dipping his hand down to cup his balls just because he knows it makes Keith squirm. “Baby, do you think I could try something? I know this is the furthest you’ve gone with me and it’s fucking amazing, but I want to make you feel so good, sweetheart.” He leans in to nip at Keith’s ear when he says it. “You can always say no.”

“What is it?” Keith whines, squirming against Shiro’s hand to cry and get the rhythm back. He doesn’t want to lose how good he’s feeling to panic by trying something new he’s not ready for, but he’s also so hard he thinks he might burst if Shiro doesn’t start touching him properly again. 

“Can I use my mouth on you?” Shiro asks, his voice low and breathy in Keith’s ear as he drags his fingertips up Keith’s length, just the ghost of a touch, teasing him. 

“Fuck.” Keith hisses. “ _ Takashi _ , please.”

“Can I?”

Keith bites his lip and gives a desperate nod. He wants that. He feels the pit in his stomach of impending orgasm give a valiant twang just at the thought, but oral sex is also something he knows he has a distinct limitation on. “I want that.” It comes out as a whimper, Keith even spreading his legs wider under the comforter to urge him on. “But, I-I can’t do that to you.” He swallows, hoping to God the stipulation won’t keep Shiro from going down on him because he thinks he might die now if he doesn’t feel Shiro’s tongue on his cock in the next two seconds. He’s squirming just thinking about it as Shiro teases him. “Not yet. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is.” Shiro says as he turns them over, easing Keith onto his back and kissing Keith deep, more tongue than usual to give Keith a taste of how he’s about to feel. “God, Baby, you are so fucking beautiful.” He murmurs, kissing down Keith’s neck, his hand sliding down his side. “I want to lick you all over, Baby. I want to make you feel so fucking good.”

Keith moans when Shiro latches onto his nipple again, his head tipping back when Shiro nibbles on the sensitive nub and proceeds to suck and bite his way down Keith’s body. He feels like a live wire.  _ Nothing _ has ever felt so good. “Takashi, please?” He begs once Shiro’s pushed the covers away and hovered his head over Keith’s painfully prominent erection. Keith even slips his hand into Shiro’s hair again, pets it like he knows Shiro likes to urge him on. 

“Shh, take it slow, Baby.” Shiro smiles, looking up to meet Keith’s eyes as he drags his tongue around his tip, lapping up the pre-come and giving his slit a few kitten licks before kissing down Keith’s shaft. 

Keith whines involuntarily, toes curling as Shiro moves down to his balls and kisses them too, licking over them until Keith makes another noise and he licks a long stripe up the underside. “ _ Takashiiiii _ .”

“Tell me if you like this.” Shiro coos as he brings two fingers up to Keith’s perineum, massing in a gentle circle. 

“What the  _ fuck _ .” Keith gasps, his thighs twitching. He’s never been touched there before. He didn’t even know that was something that would make him feel good.

“Stop?”

“No, no, no, keep doing that.” Keith groans, tightening his grip on Shiro’s hair. “But please, please put your mouth on me, I-I want to know what it feels like.”

“You’re so fucking adorable.” Shiro sighs before relenting. Keeping those two fingers between Keith’s legs, massaging him to give his prostate that sweet tingle of stimulation, he wraps his lips around the head and sucks. 

“Oh my God.” Keith breathes, pulling on Shiro’s hair a little to urge him on. “More, more, Baby.”

Shiro gives in and starts to ease himself down, massaging Keith with his tongue as he sinks down another couple inches and starts to bob his head. 

Keith’s mouth hangs open, sound refusing to break through until Shiro starts humming and Keith  _ moans _ . It’s low and guttural, vibrating in his chest as he tries not to buck his hips up. “Takashi, Takashi,  _ fuck _ .” He keeps repeating like a prayer as Shiro starts to truly suck him off. He’s  _ never _ had a mouth there before. It’s the best thing he’s ever felt - warm and wet, Shiro’s tongue the perfect texture against his cock. He wants it to last forever, but he’s already pent up. 

Shiro pulls off with a pop and strokes his hands up Keith’s thighs. “No one lasts long the first time. Don’t be embarrassed ‘cause I’m gonna make you come, okay?” He laughs as he gives Keith’s cock one more stroke with his hand. “You good?”

“I’m great.” Keith whimpers. “Please keep going.”

Shiro obliges and Keith shouts when Shiro takes his length in full. How the fuck can he do that without choking? Keith sits up and knots Shiro’s hair in his fingers, sobbing as Shiro sucks his cock with a fucking vengeance. The sound should be disgusting, but it’s  _ not _ . He’s shaking with pleasure, his toes curled, moans falling out of his mouth as the pressure builds and builds. 

“Kashi, I’m gonna come.” Keith cries, pulling too hard on Shiro’s hair, but he’s outside of himself. “I-I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, I-I’m… I-I’m coming, fuck, oh my God!” He gasps when it hits, wrapping his legs around Shiro’s torso as his head tips back and he feels himself come an impossible amount into Shiro’s mouth. He’s shaking as Shiro sucks him through it, swallowing everything he releases and stroking his hands up his legs and his sides to soothe him through the orgasm’s power until it collapses. 

“Keith.” Shiro pants as soon as he pulls off, his lips wet and swollen, his voice hoarse as he pushes Keith down onto his back and reaches down to touch himself. 

“Shiro.” Keith answers him in a daze. “Let me… I can touch you, I can-”

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro grunts and then he’s coming too - hot ropes over Keith’s stomach as he strokes himself to fruition. The tuft of hair at his forehead hangs in his face as he groans through his own orgasm, collapsing over Keith and pressing a lazy line of kisses over his throat when it passes. “Baby, fuck.” He sighs as he wraps his arms around him. “Sorry, I just couldn’t hold out. You taste amazing.”

“Holy shit.” Keith breathes, hugging Shiro to his chest and staring up at the ceiling. That had felt better than he’d even imagined it to be. “That was fucking awesome.”

“Mm, I’m glad I can make you feel good.” Shiro mumbles as he nuzzles his head into the crook of Keith’s neck. “Thanks for letting me in like this, Baby. It feels so good being with you like this.”

“Yeah.” Keith smiles, stroking a hand down Shiro’s back. They’ll both need a shower and the layer of come between them will start to feel gross in a minute, but right now he feels great. Things are finally looking up. “Hey, I got dibs on first shower.”

“That’s fair.” Shiro yawns. “Can I nap on you?”

“After I get the jizz off my abs.”

* * * * *

The next day, Keith doesn’t feel so much weight on his shoulders. Yesterday, he was practically obsessed with using this competition to set the precedent, to beat Shiro and set himself up perfectly for a victory at the finals, but now he’s just… content. He’s still on fire to do his best and he does it too. He skates gorgeously with only a few mistakes, which get called. Shiro skates flawlessly this time around and when Keith ends up with the silver medal, he doesn’t feel the resentment he did yesterday. Looking at Shiro on the podium beside him, this isn’t his nemesis, or his long lost best friend. This is his partner now. Keith’s  _ proud _ to be standing by him. 

“I’m still gonna steal your gold at the finals.” Keith smiles when they retire to their final night in the hotel room, reaching up to flick Shiro’s hair floof. 

“Are you sure you’re not mad?” Shiro winces. “I know that you probably would have won if your score yesterday had been a little more fair.”

“I’m not mad.” Keith shakes his head, stepping in to give Shiro a hug. “This weekend was incredible and I know I killed my programs, but um… I’m just happy that we got this time together. I’m feeling a lot less nervous.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Keith nods, taking a deep breath before he pulls back to look Shiro in the eyes when he said it. “After the final, I want to do something. I-I’m ready.”

Shiro’s cheeks turn pink at the implication. “What is it?”

“I-I think I’m ready to have sex with you.” Keith swallows, his own face heating at the admission. “Like… Actual sex. You fucking me.” He clears his throat and shuffles his feet a bit at the phrase, but he means it. He thinks he can do this. “I don’t want to do it before because there’s no way I’m losing gold because you distracted me or made my ass sore before the free skate.”

“Fair game.” Shiro laughs, pulling Keith back into a hug and kissing the top of his head. “You can change your mind any time you want, but thank you, Baby. I know what a big deal it is for you.”

“Thanks, Shiro.” Keith sighs as he relaxes into his touch. “I… I love you. I’m glad we’re saying that now.”

“Me too, Keith.” Shiro says with the softest squeeze, his arms locked protectively around Keith’s slender waist. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, don't forget to leave comments and kudos if you're having a good time!
> 
> Make sure to follow me on Twitter @nuttinonice to keep up with fic updates and if you're itching for chapter four of this fic, it's already posted up on another platform you can find on my Twitter!
> 
> Hope you guys are still enjoying reading this as much as I've loved writing it!


	4. When The Roof Caves In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty heavy chapter, just a little warning! I promise the chapter doesn't end on a cliff hanger though <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it takes me so long to update, college is rough lmao

The more sexual the relationship becomes, the harder it gets to keep the romance under wraps. The more Keith feels comfortable with Shiro, the easier it is to kiss him at the rink when they’re practicing together, the more intuitive it feels to reach for his hand when they walk down the street before he catches himself and retracts it. There’s already been one circulating photo of him with a glaringly obvious hickey and the last thing Keith needs right now is to deal with more of the public eye on him and Shiro. It’s just hard to reign it in when Shiro is making him feel so fucking  _ good _ all the time. Plus, uh… they’ve been practicing in costume lately and it’s equally hard not to look at Shiro’s ass as it is to resist slutting it up around him when Keith’s wearing skin tight faux-leather spandex.

They still haven’t gone further than they did in the hotel room, but as the final gets closer, Shiro starts spending the night. Keith even finally spends the night at Shiro’s place (which is  _ way _ nicer and he feels like a dumbass for avoiding it). He’d kept things at his place for most of the time to avoid having any accidents or episodes at Shiro’s apartment, but now he even brings Kosmo there sometimes. They walk him together on uncrowded park trails by Shiro’s apartment complex where they’re unlikely to be recognized and they often wake each other up with a little foreplay in the morning followed by a healthy breakfast - per Coran’s diet guidelines.

Keith’s chest still seizes sometimes when he thinks about letting Shiro  _ actually _ fuck him, but he’s getting there. He feels good about doing it after the final.

Meanwhile, the online hate against Shiro seems to have died down a bit. There’s always the occasional homophobic comment and Keith can see how much Shiro is dreading competing against Adam, who unfortunately qualified for the sixth spot. For the most part though, Shiro’s fans have rallied behind him and Keith’s loyal base has started to drift more into the realm of supporting the both of them. Since the rumors, they’re not pitted as rivals so much. Questions of whether or not they’re suddenly best friends or lovers seem to make for more exciting (and apparently believable) headlines. 

Despite the silver medal in Japan, Keith is feeling good about his chances for gold. The sex they’ve been having - while it may just be hands and oral - has seriously given him a confidence boost. He feels sexier out on the ice and he sells it even more when Shiro’s watching him. It lights his programs on fire and Keith has trouble not ripping Shiro’s clothes off whenever he finishes a run through. 

The one milestone he can’t seem to get passed yet though is returning the favor when Shiro blows him. Keith _wants_ to do the same to him, but too many images come back when he gets on his knees. He’s tried to shake it off a few times, but Shiro had pulled him back and reassured him he didn’t have to do anything every time. He’s embarrassed that Shiro clearly has the general idea of what Keith’s trauma is, but he still can’t bring himself to actually have a conversation about it - especially since Shiro might feel guilty. After all, it was when Shiro left that things with their coach got worse.  
Still, Keith feels the excitement inside him building up. The closer they get, the more he really wants to have proper sex, even if he’s still a little afraid. A week out from the competition and after a _particularly_ good run through, Keith finds himself dragging Shiro into the locker room. 

“Keith.” Shiro pants against his lips between kisses, pressed up against the locker as Keith starts to kiss down his neck. “Baby, fuck, where’s this coming from?”

“Seven days.” Keith grunts as he resists the urge to grind against Shiro and nibbles on his ear instead. 

“Until the competition?”

“Until the competition where you get to fuck me.” Keith grins, still in his skates as he presses their foreheads together. 

“Yeah?” Shiro starts to smile back as he snakes his arms around Keith’s waist, sliding one hand down to his ass. “You feeling certain about it?”

“I’m nervous, but I want to do it.” Keith nods before leaning up for another kiss. “Like I  _ really _ want to do it.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Shiro lets out a low laugh while Keith kisses along his jaw. “You coming over after dance class tonight? There’s one more thing I want to show you. No penetration, I promise, but I think you’ll really like it.”

“What is it?”

“Come over and see.” Shiro smiles, giving Keith’s waist a squeeze. “Go settle down. We’ve got a lot of practice before we have time with each other later and you’re gonna ruin my tights if you keep going.”

“Fine.” Keith pouts, only because he knows he can’t truly get comfortable doing anything but make out in the locker rooms, but he  _ is  _ hard. He’ll need a minute before he can go out on the ice again.

“You’re so adorable.” Shiro slides his hand back up from Keith’s ass to rest on his lower back, giving him a chaste kiss on the forehead. “I can cook dinner.”

“You cook?”

“I uh… try to cook?” 

“I’ll be your taste tester.” Keith chuckles, tucking his head into the crook of Shiro’s neck. “You know um… If you don’t mind, we could pick up Kosmo and I uh… I could spend the night?” He feels his cheeks warm as he asks, hoping he isn’t getting too comfortable or overstepping any boundaries. “I-If that’s okay with you, I just thought since we have practice together in the morning, maybe I could just-”

“I’d love that.” Shiro grins and Keith feels the little rumble in his chest when he laughs. “I’ll cook you dinner, you can spend the night, we’ll watch a movie. I love all that domestic stuff.”

“I’ve never really had someone to do it with.”

“...If I bought us matching pajamas would you wear them?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

* * * * *

Keith is pleasantly surprised that he doesn’t feel nervous going to Shiro’s place. He knows they’re going to try something new sexually, that there’s a risk he could have a nightmare while sleeping with Shiro, but he isn’t afraid of it. Whatever they try, he’s sure it’ll feel good and that Shiro will stop if he’s scared. If he has a nightmare, or an accident, he knows Shiro won’t judge him and he’s brought Kosmo along too to help out if he does find himself panicking or having a hard night. He brings a change of clothes and some slightly revealing pajamas, ready to sit down and taste test whatever his boyfriend’s planning to cook, but Shiro has a different agenda. 

“Come here.” Shiro says, his voice low and breathy as soon as they shut his front door behind them, pressing Keith up against it and catching him in a kiss. 

“Already?” Keith smiles against him, dropping his duffel bag to the floor by his feet, which Kosmo dutifully nudges out of the way. “Thought you were gonna cook me dinner first.”

“You made me too horny.” Shiro pouts. “You did  _ not _ need all that stretching at the end of practice.”

“Yes I did,  _ I _ put my foot over my head in my routines, mister.” Keith says with a playful poke to Shiro’s chest. Although Shiro’s right, Keith is definitely guilty of putting on a bit of a show. “Back up a step.”

Shiro drops his hands from Keith’s hips and obeys, taking one big step back.

Keith takes the opportunity to lean back against the door and swing his leg up, resting his ankle on Shiro’s shoulder and grinning at him as he stands on his free leg. 

“Jesus, Keith.” Shiro breathes, stepping forward just a little to bend Keith forward and he  _ groans _ in response. 

“That was just from the stretch, I’m not being a slut like a certain someone else is right now.” Keith blushes, but he’s getting hard again as Shiro lowers his leg back down and pulls him in by the waist. “What did you want to show me?” He nearly whispers as he looks up at Shiro. He doesn’t really feel their height difference until they’re standing like this, Keith in Shiro’s arms, having to tilt his head back to look at him. It actually turns him on quite a bit. He likes being held and he likes that Shiro’s bigger than him, strong, someone who Keith is getting more and more comfortable imagining fucking his brains out. 

“It sounds gross, but I promise it’ll make you feel so good, Baby.” Shiro says as he rests his hand on the small of Keith’s back, teasingly close to his ass. “You don’t have to return the favor at all, but would you be open to letting me use my mouth um…” His cheeks go pink as he slides the hand down to cup Keith’s ass. “Down there?”

Keith tenses. He’s only seen that in porn before and he figured it was mostly just acting. Does it really feel good? He’s not worried about his hygiene or anything down there, he’s waxed  _ and _ bleached (he’s a figure skater dammit), but still, how could that taste? Does Shiro like that? “You want to do that to me?”

Shiro gives an eager nod. “If you’ll let me. You just make the sexiest little sounds when I blow you and I can’t imagine how you might respond to me um… you know, rimming you. Are you okay with that? I know it’s asking a lot more vulnerability than a blowjob does.”

“I’m okay with it.” Keith swallows. “If you are. I-I don’t really know how it feels.”

“I’ll show you.” Shiro says, his smile sweet like he’s offering to show Keith a new move on the ice, not getting ready to eat his ass. “Come to my room.”

Keith follows without question, taking Shiro’s hand and letting himself be lead. Shiro’s bedroom isn’t much bigger than his own, but it is a lot nicer. The bed is king sized, the mattress plush, sheets soft, and Keith could sleep under the velvety comforter for a lifetime. 

“Can I take this off?” Shiro asks as he tugs at the hem of Keith’s t-shirt and kicks the bedroom door shut behind them, shutting Kosmo out. 

Keith nods and raises his arms, his heart thumping as Shiro pulls his shirt off over his head and drops it by his feet, giving Keith a kiss before removing his own. “Can you get naked too?” He waits for Shiro’s nod then steps forward, mouth watering as he hooks his fingers around the waistband of Shiro’s practice leggings and pushes them down his hips, along with the thong he’d been wearing underneath. 

“Jesus.” Keith breathes at the sight of Shiro’s cock as he pushes the leggings all the way down and lets Shiro step out of them. “Do you always have to be such a fucking super model?” He teases as he wraps his hand around Shiro’s dick and strokes, smiling at himself when he realizes the lack of anxiety it gives him. He feels comfortable, turned on as Shiro’s cock hardens in his hand and he leans in to kiss up his neck. 

“Mm.” Shiro sighs and there’s something Keith loves about having Shiro completely naked while he still has some of his clothes on. It feels like Shiro’s all his, like Keith’s in control. 

Keith sucks on Shiro’s collar, careful not to leave a mark as he starts to jerk him off, sliding his free hand around to grip Shiro’s ass.  _ God _ , he honestly could touch it all day. Sure, there’s muscle, but it’s… a bit of a bubble butt and Keith simultaneously thinks it’s sexy as hell and the cutest thing in the world. 

“Fuck, I thought I was gonna making you into a mess right now.” Shiro lets out a breathy laugh. “Don’t work me up too much. I wanna make you feel good.”

“I’m feeling pretty great right now.”

“Good.” Shiro smiles as he presses a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “Come here.” He says as he slides his hands down Keith’s waist, meeting his eyes for a final nod of approval before he pushes down Keith’s practice leggings as well, peeling them down his thighs until Keith can step out. He’s in a thong too, it’s not uncommon to wear under tight practice clothes, but he doesn’t miss the way Shiro’s eyes light up when he reaches around to palm Keith’s ass with both hands. “You’re so beautiful, Keith.” His voice is soft as he hooks his fingers around the thin waistband and pulls the underwear down too. “Come lay on the bed for me, Baby.”

Keith obeys, liking how it feels to take an order from Shiro, however politely worded it may be. He crawls onto the bed and hesitates for a moment, trying to decide what position Shiro wants him in before he settles for going on all fours, lowering his chest to the bed to rest on his folded arms while his ass stays raised up.

“It’s unreal how pretty you are sometimes.” Shiro says, his voice low, but sweet as he kneels between Keith’s legs and runs his hands over his ass, up to his lower back, then down his sides, soothing him, getting him used to his touch before he reaches around to give Keith’s cock a few strokes.

Keith whines in response, hiding his blushing face in his arms as Shiro touches him. He’s already leaking, slick with pre-come as Shiro’s other hand comes to play with his balls, stroke his perineum and massage the spot to make Keith keen. He loves this. He feels vulnerable, yeah, but not in danger. He’s starting to feel more excited for letting Shiro fuck him than he feels nervous about it. Letting Shiro touch him like this feels incredible, like Keith can completely let go and Shiro will make him feel nothing but pleasure.

“You like that, Baby? Shiro asks when he stops to give Keith’s tip a little extra attention, working his thumb around it until Keith shivers for him. A drop of pre-come drips onto the sheets underneath him.

Keith manages a whimper and parts his thighs a little wider, inviting Shiro to do what he wants to. Now that he’s worked up, he’s even more curious about what it’ll feel like having Shiro’s mouth on him there. “Y-You can do the thing.” He says as he resists the urge to push his hips back, not wanting to look too desperate quite yet, even though he’s already coming undone. 

“Yeah?”

“Please?”

“I’m gonna take it slow, okay?” Shiro coos as he takes his hands away from Keith’s cock and palms his ass instead, spreading his cheeks and Keith feels himself turn bright red. It feels so strange having someone  _ look _ at him there. He’s always thought this part wouldn’t feel sexy, but he actually lets out a soft moan when he realizes how long of a look Shiro’s taking. Does he like the way Keith looks? Is he still eager to fuck him? Hell, Keith is getting pretty eager himself. After the final, he’s going to let Shiro give him all he’s got. 

“How’s this?” Shiro nearly whispers as he brushes his thumb over Keith’s hole, making him tense and shiver. 

“D-Different.”

“Have you ever played with yourself down here? If that’s okay to ask.”

Keith keeps his face hidden as he gives a humiliated nod. He can tell Shiro’s smiling behind him. 

“Can you tell me how?”

“I-I um…” Keith swallows and bites his lip when Shiro’s thumb passes over him again, playing with his rim. “I-I use my fingers sometimes.”

“Yeah? And you like how it feels?”

Keith nods again. 

“You do anything else?”

Keith lets out a quiet groan, half in agony from all the teasing and half from the sheer embarrassment. He knows his dick is leaking onto Shiro’s sheets as he speaks. “I-I fuck myself.”

“With what?”

“I-I have a hairbrush with a round handle.” Keith gulps. “I-I don’t do it often, just when I’m alone and there’s a break from practice because it makes me sore.”

“God, you’re so fucking sexy.” Shiro bends over him and presses a few soft kisses to Keith’s shoulders. “Thanks for sharing with me, Baby. I want to learn how to make you feel good as best as I can, yeah? So I like to know how you make yourself feel good.”

Keith gives a weak nod in understanding, not wanting to form words at the moment. 

“I’m glad you’re comfortable with yourself down here. I didn’t want to rush you.” Shiro rubs his fingers over Keith’s hole once more before he kisses down his spine and settles back down at the foot of the bed, propping himself up on his elbows, so his head is in the perfect position. “Tell me how it feels, okay? Say stop if you need to.”

“Thank you.” Keith whispers, practically vibrating with anticipation as he feels Shiro’s breath against him, feels him moving closer, one of Shiro’s hands spreading him again and then it happens. The warm swipe of a flat tongue against his entrance and Keith lets out a moan he had no idea he was holding it. 

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Don’t you fucking stop doing that, Takashi, I swear to  _ fuck. _ ” Keith groans as Shiro gives him a few kitten licks, his hand coming back around to stroke him again and Keith arches his back, toes curling as Shiro’s mouth starts to build a rhythm that matches his hand. 

Closing his eyes, he feels like he’s floating. Like he can’t feel the bed beneath his knees and his elbows, just the wet warmth of Shiro’s tongue and the smooth grip of his fist jerking him off as he tries not to writhe from the pleasure. God  _ damn _ it feels good. Far better than anything he’s ever tried on himself before. He’s seen it in porn before, but he had no clue it actually felt so good. 

Shiro moans against him as he eats him out and Keith returns the sound, already feeling the tension building in his abdomen. He knows Shiro won’t let him come yet, but damn if he isn’t already getting there. 

“I-I’m gonna ruin your sheets.” Keith pants, sweating as Shiro continues to work his tongue, the tip just barely brushing inside of him and making Keith whine.

“Ruin them.” Shiro pauses to say, pressing a kiss to Keith’s ass cheek (how romantic) before diving back in. 

It shouldn’t be so hot to think about releasing over Shiro’s bedsheets, but the command makes Keith gasp, pushing his hips back against Shiro’s face to chase the pleasure from his tongue as he feels himself start to tremble. It’s too soon, but he can’t help it. It’s his first time like this. He hopes he doesn’t come too quickly when Shiro finally penetrates him, but right now, he’s a mess. He’s  _ drooling _ as Shiro’s hand strokes his cock and his tongue licks him in all the right ways. 

“Kashi.” Keith gasps, fisting the bedsheets in his hands as his muscles start to twitch. “Kashi, I-I’m gonna come. A-Are you sure you want me to-”

Shiro answers with a hum against him and Keith starts to lose his coherency. Little “ah” sounds fall out of his mouth, one after the over, increasing in pitch and breathiness until he’s sure he sounds like a school girl, but he can’t _help_ _it_. When Shiro builds him right up to the orgasm, Keith comes with a shout, burying his face in his arms as he spurts an impossible amount of Shiro’s sheets. Shiro strokes him through it, licking him until he finishes and cooing to him when he pulls his mouth away, running his hands up Keith’s sides and over his back until he falls onto his side, breathless. 

“So you liked that?”

“I loved that, stop turning me into such a perv.” Keith groans as Shiro comes up to spoon him, throwing an arm over his hips to hold him close. Keith can feel Shiro’s hard on against his ass which gives him a jolt at first, but he settles when he feels Shiro’s lips press against his forehead. He’s safe. “You really like doing that?”

“Love it.” Shiro grins, pressing a few more kisses into Keith’s hair. “It’s my favorite thing to do to a guy.”

“I can get you off too, just let me catch my breath.”

“You don’t need to do that, Baby.”

“I want to.”

“Are you sure?” Shiro pushes his eyebrows together in concern as he tucks a lock of Keith’s hair behind his ear. 

“I mean, why wouldn’t I be?” Keith swallows. Does Shiro not want Keith to touch him?

“Nothing, I just… I don’t know, you seem to get a little more nervous when you touch me than when I touch you.”

Keith tenses. Does he? He doesn’t mean to. 

“Hey, hey, shh don’t get anxious.” Shiro murmurs, rubbing his hand in soothing circles over Keith’s belly. “It’s fine, it’s just something I’ve noticed. Do you want to talk about it?”

Keith actually twitches that time, shaking his head as he curls a little further in on himself. He wasn’t even thinking about it until Shiro asked. Giving Shiro hand jobs is just a little more close to triggering than letting Shiro touch him sometimes because being touched by Shiro feels so different than when he was touched without permission. Shiro’s hands are soft and warm, guiding, and they stop whenever Keith shows any discomfort. Touching Shiro just brings back the sensory memories too much. Shiro’s cock is hot to the touch and watching himself touch it reminds him a lot of when he had to touch… Keith’s chest seizes and his eyes start to water. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He tries to keep his voice steady, but Shiro picks up on the change in tone immediately. “I-I didn’t mean to seem more nervous, or make you feel bad, I just…” Keith’s mouth wobbles. “S-Some things are scarier than others and I don’t always understand completely why. I-I must seem like such an asshole being hesitant and stuff to get you off even though you keep getting  _ me  _ off every time we-”

“Keith, Keith, whoa.” Shiro says, looking at him with wide eyes and keeping his arm around him, holding him close. “Baby, you’re not selfish. You’re completely fine. You don’t have to explain anything to me, I just want you to know you can always talk to me if you want to. You don’t have to tell me why some things scare you more than others. Sex is different for everyone, you’re not a bad person for being nervous.”

Keith sniffles and looks away in the hopes it’ll hide how watery his eyes got. Shiro’s question alone just brought back too many of the memories. He hadn’t even been thinking about them this time, but now they’re in his head, so he definitely doesn’t want to give Shiro a hand job right now. That makes him feel even  _ shittier _ because he’s being selfish. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Shiro kisses his ear, where he knows Keith likes, and keeps stroking his stomach. “You can do whatever you want, Baby. I’ve got you either way.”

Keith feels his lips quiver again and turns over into Shiro’s arms, burying himself in his chest and letting Shiro hug him tight. “I-I might… have nightmares tonight. I-Is that okay? I don’t want to fuck your bed up twice.”

Shiro laughs a little and kisses the top of his head. “It’s fine, Keith. I’m glad you’re spending the night.” He rubs his hand up and down Keith’s back to calm him. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Not crying.” Keith swallows.

“Got it. Not crying.” Shiro teases, but he gives Keith a loving little squeeze when he says it. “Hey, what if we just hopped in the shower together? Let me clean you up and I’ll make dinner when we get out. Or if you want the shower to yourself, that’s fine too.”

“Don’t you have blue balls?”

“I’ll live.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith deflates, nuzzling his face up into the crook of Shiro’s neck. “Kinda killed the mood, didn’t I?”

“Hey, I love cuddling. I’m having a great time.”

“Shut up.” Keith lets out a wet laugh and leans up to give Shiro a kiss on the cheek. “I think I want to take you up on that shower.”

“Fuck yeah, I’m gonna wash your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Keith crinkles his nose. 

“When was the last day you washed it?”

“Uh.” Keith bites his lip. “Fair enough, have at it.”

They peel themselves off of damp sheets and Keith follows Shiro into the bathroom. He loves to bathe at Shiro’s place a lot more than his own. It’s a mystery how Shiro kept his sexuality a secret all this time because the man owns more pink bath bombs and hair care products than he does anything else. Still, he has a spacious shower with plenty of room for them to stand comfortably together in.

He presses himself against Shiro under the water, the glass door shut behind them as he lets himself be held for a while longer. He’s still slightly shaken up, too many memories having come up at once, but he still feels safe. He always feels safe with Shiro now. 

He doesn’t just have a boyfriend he trusts after all this time, even if he still can’t find the strength to talk about his trauma out loud, but he also has his best friend back in his life. 

He has Shiro. 

* * * * * 

Practice leading up to the final is brutal. Keith takes extra dance classes, attends extra yoga sessions, and spends more hours on the ice. The bright side of it all is all the time with Shiro. Keith stays late with him a few nights in the rink’s small dance studio, teaching him bits of choreography, giving him tips on flexibility. 

“Are you sure you should be helping the competition?” Shiro teases when Keith high kicks around him with ease.

“It’s not a real win if I don’t beat you at your best.”

Keith spends more nights at Shiro’s place, allowing himself to be doted on a bit, and he tells the girls all about Shiro’s cooking endeavors at their wine nights. He’s buzzing with excitement about all the things he’ll be able to share with them after he lets Shiro have real sex with him. Since the past week, they’ve been fooling around even more. Keith’s getting addicted to what Shiro can do with his mouth and he feels so close to him. 

They’ve booked an extra night in their hotel room after the final. Coran gave them a look when they requested to room together again, but he just made a joke about young love and saving money anyways. After the final and the exhibition is all over, no matter the results, they have an extra day and night to themselves in Milan to make things as romantic as possible. Keith’s heart thumps every time he thinks about Shiro spreading him out on a hotel bed, a view of the city outside the window. When he gets a pang of anxiety about it, or a bad thought, he takes a deep breath and thinks about how he feels in Shiro’s arms. Having sex will feel the same. Shiro will hold him close, coo to him, stop when Keith says. It’s nothing like what he’s been through. It’s not violence - it’s love. 

The more Keith feels his confidence grow, the better his programs become. He’s landing his jumps, holding his spins for longer, but most of all, there’s a fire lit under him. He’s performing like he never has before at practice and if he can do it on the finals ice, he can take gold - even if he has to take it from Shiro. Shiro has enough gold medals anyways.

While he preps for the finals with Shiro though, he’s trying to get ready to give himself away too. 

“Are you sure it’s not going to be too much?” Keith blushes as he looks over the shelves of lingerie, Allura by his side. She’s become the one person he’s confided in lately. He hasn’t told her any of the reasons why, just that he wanted to save going all the way for a special night and that they’re doing it after the final. He wants to do everything right and the first thing Allura insisted on was getting him something to wear.

“It won’t be too much, he’ll lose his mind seeing you in something like this for the first time. Plus, you said you’ve never tried lingerie before and we  _ both know _ you love some fierce femme chique.”

“The words you say sometimes.” Keith sighs as he lets her lead him down a wall of male lingerie. There’s a lot of different things that catch his eye. He’s not above a lacey pink thong he sees, but he also likes the strappy leather underwear with garters that attach to bands for around his thighs. What would Shiro like the best? Soft or punky? Black or white? Or red? “I just wish I knew what he liked. I’m not sure what his taste is in this kind of stuff yet. Are you sure he’ll like it at all? Is it too femme?”

“No such thing and Shiro ogles you like a mad man every time you wear your costume. I’m positive he’s into it.” She scans the options and reaches up, grabbing a set with a sheer red thong and a see-through tank top to match. “They call you firecracker, don’t you? Show him what that name means.”

Keith feels his eyes bug a bit as he takes the lingerie from Allura and looks it over. Yeah, this… feels right. He can already see himself in it. “Would I be a total whore if I got red fish nets to go with it?”

“It’s a night of romance, not Halloween at a sorority.”

“Ouch.” Keith pouts. “I’m going to the dressing room.”

“Ooh, show me?”

“It’s see through, Allura.”

“Oh!” She blinks. “That’s right. Carry on.”

Keith laughs a little and grabs one more size of the same set off the rack to try on before he thanks her and ducks into the men’s dressing room. The place is fancy and he cringes a bit at the price tag on the lingerie, but he appreciates the velvet curtain that shuts him inside the dressing room. 

In front of a full length mirror, he strips down and wiggles into the smaller size, grinning when he looks at himself in the mirror. He loves it. Red has always been his color and the sheer panties show off his ass perfectly, his dick visible through the fabric. The top clings to his chest, making his nipples look pink and perky underneath, highlighting his tight waist too. Maybe he’ll get his nipples pierced during the off season.

It’s an easy decision to buy it, so he does a quick change back into his street clothes and steps out of the dressing room to greet Allura with an excited smile. 

“Shiro’s gonna be head over heels for you.”

* * * * *

The final comes up quick. Time flies when they’re training so hard and by the time Keith is in the plane next to Shiro, flying to Milan, he’s buzzing with excitement. He’s never been so ready to compete and he’s never felt so confident about a decision as he is about letting Shiro go all the way with him. The lingerie he bought is in his suitcase, tucked into the overhead compartment, and the flight is relatively empty, giving them the privacy to snuggle up a little for the long flight. They share a pair of ear buds, taking turns showing each other songs and Keith even sneaks a few kisses from him when no flight attendants are nearby. If he was a braver man, he might suggest the mile high club, but he’s not  _ quite _ there yet. 

The first night in the hotel, they slip into bed together with a movie, Keith curled up against Shiro’s side, stroking his stomach in slow circles to keep him soothed. Even though Shiro’s just as confident as he is about the competition  _ and _ the promise of sex at the end of it, Keith knows he’s nervous having Adam here. They had briefly passed him in the lobby and Keith hadn’t missed how Shiro cringed. He’d quickly taken his hand and lead him off to their room, but he can sense the tension isn’t gone and Keith can’t say he doesn’t understand. He’s been lucky this season, but sometimes his old coach is at the same competitions as him and it makes his skin crawl. He knows it’s hard to perform in the presence of someone who hurt you.

“You should get some sleep, Takashi. I know it’s only eight here, but I don’t want you to be jet lagged in the morning.” Keith coos when their movie comes to an end, stroking his hand through Shiro’s hair and watching him melt into the touch. 

“You’re right.” Shiro sighs. “Sorry for acting weird. Seeing him in the lobby just threw me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Keith says with a smile and a kiss to Shiro’s forehead. “If I have an episode tonight or anything at all, don’t stay up with me, yeah? I’ll deal with it myself. We both need as much sleep as we can get tonight.”

“Keith, if you have a nightmare, I’m gonna be here for you. No arguing.” Shiro returns his smile as he flicks off the TV and pulls the comforter a little further up before tightening his arms a bit around Keith. “I’m glad we’re here together.”

“Me too, ‘kashi.” Keith whispers, giving Shiro a sweet goodnight kiss on the lips before he settles into him, resting his head on Shiro’s broad chest, just above his heart. He still blushes when he says it, but looking at the view of the city outside the hotel window, he wants to. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Baby.” Shiro murmurs, hand stroking down Keith’s back. “More than anything.”

They fall into a peaceful sleep - legs tangled together with Shiro treating Keith like a teddy bear and Keith drooling a little onto Shiro’s t-shirt. Keith doesn’t have any nightmares, but he does wake up at around three a.m. He feels a familiar sense of panic when he realizes the sheets are damp, but it’s not… from him. He didn’t have a nightmare. 

“Shiro?” Keith frowns, still half asleep as he realizes Shiro’s sweat through his pajamas and he’s twitching in his sleep, his face contorted like he’s dreaming of something awful. Keith knows what that looks like. “Hey, hey, Baby, wake up.” He whispers, giving Shiro’s shoulder a gentle shake until he comes to. 

Shiro wakes with a gasp, eyes darting around the dark room, chest heaving for a moment before his gaze settles on Keith. “Baby.” He sighs. “H-Hey, shit. Sorry.”

“Were you having a nightmare?” Keith frowns, reaching up to feel Shiro’s hair is damp. “Shit, Babe.”

“I’m good.” Shiro takes a deep breath. “Just the night sweats thing I told you about. I’m probably just nervous for tomorrow.”

“You shouldn’t be.” Keith frowns. “Stay here, I’ll get you a change of clothes.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Shiro.”

“Fine.”

Keith peels out of bed and finds Shiro’s suitcase, rummaging through his clothes to find a clean pair of underwear and a tank top to bring back to him. He sits on the side of the bed as Shiro gets changed and puts the damp clothes in the closet’s laundry basket. “Can you sleep? Are the sheets too wet?”

“No, they’re not that bad, just… come back.” Shiro’s voice is so soft, it tugs at Keith’s heart as he crawls back into bed with him, snuggling up close the same as before. “You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to. I don’t want to sweat all over you.”

“It’s fine.” Keith lets out a low laugh. “I’ve done  _ far _ worse to you.” He leans up to give Shiro another kiss, soft and slow before he settles onto his chest again. “Wake me up if you need me.”

“Thanks, Keith.” Shiro lets out a sigh of relief. 

“You’d do the same for me.”

“I would.” Shiro smiles. “Sweet dreams, Baby.”

“You too.” Keith says with another kiss to Shiro’s jaw. “You’re gonna need ‘em. You know, since I’m kicking your ass tomorrow.”

“Shut up.”

* * * * *

They part ways in the morning. It’s not without a wake up make out session and a million encouraging words to one another, but they both need to focus more than ever and neither of them want any cameras in their faces, so they say goodbye in the hotel room. 

Keith takes his own cab to the arena, taking deep breaths the whole way. He’s got this. He’s trained relentlessly, he’s more confident than ever, with his best programs ever. The gold is his if he just goes out there and performs to his potential. 

He takes his mind off his nerves by scrolling through Twitter, keeping his head down and eyes on his feed when he arrives and walks through the line of press at the entrance, doing a quick change in the locker room before it’s time for the official practice. 

He sees Shiro on the ice, but they don’t exchange more than a sweet smile from across the rink and a shy wave, keeping themselves focused on the task at hand. When Keith’s music plays, he does a perfect run through, his heart racing when the practice comes to an end and it’s time to get ready for the real thing. The men’s short program is the first event of the day and Keith is glad he doesn’t have time to sit around waiting and worrying. He’s skating second to last, with Shiro going after him. He’s grateful for the skating order, so he can perform without comparing himself to however Shiro does beforehand. 

He knows they should be keeping their distance from each other until the end of the day, but he sees Adam in the locker room and the tense look on Shiro’s face, so he goes to join him. 

“Hey.” Keith says quietly as he tugs on his costume. “You okay?”

“Yeah, thanks for coming over.” Shiro sighs, tugging at the laces on his boots. He’s already in costume and Keith blushes when he sees there’s glitter in Shiro’s hair. Christ, he’s really gone all out. “I’m fine, just… awkward.” He glances up to see Adam exiting the locker room, leaving the two of them alone. Keith breathes out a sigh of relief that they have the locker room to themselves before taking his phone from his duffle bag for a quick distraction before the butterflies can build in his stomach, but there’s a news alert on his screen. 

He usually ignores them if it’s not something major, but one glance at the headline and his face pales. It’s almost cartoonish, how he  _ feels _ his blood run cold, the color draining from his face as his hands go shaky and clammy, vomit rising in his throat that he has to swallow down. He can’t fucking deal with this right now.  _ Please _ not today.

“Keith?” Shiro frowns, glancing up at him. “Baby, what’s up?”

Keith just shakes his head, staring at his phone with wide eyes as tears well up. He opens the article, skimming for information, but he can’t seem to wrap his head around it, his body reacting for him instead - pure fear. His chest is tight, heart racing as he starts to sweat. He starts to tremble a little harder.

“ _ Keith _ .” Shiro stands up and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Baby, what’s going on?”

Keith opens his mouth to speak, but a sob falls out, his hands trembling too much to hold the phone still, so he hands it to Shiro and drops onto the bench, hugging himself. “No, no, no.” He sniffles. “Please  _ God _ . Fuck Shiro, no, no, I-I don’t wanna deal with this.”

“Keith…” Shiro breathes, reading the headline for himself. 

_ Renowned Figure Skating Coach Charged With Sexual Assault : Minors Among Victims _

“I-I… I-I couldn’t finish reading it, but…” Keith can’t speak properly, his chest heaving. He can’t take air in and there’s tears rolling down his cheeks. He’s gonna be sick or pass out or  _ something _ , he just feels like his body is about to shut down one way or another.

“Baby, hey, hey, it’s all okay.” Shiro tries to coo, but Keith is shaking like a leaf. “Honey, this coach is in our past, he doesn’t matter right now. Today is about you, about your performance, it’s-”

“He’s not just in my past.” Keith heaves out a sob. “H-He did it to me. I-I’m one of his victims a-and it’s not some thing in my past, it’s something that haunts me every  _ day _ and keeps me from having sex with you or feeling good about myself a-and it’s why I have nightmares a-and I… Shiro, I-I can’t face this right now.” He nearly wails, the sound ripping itself from his throat without permission. He’s never even told anyone about this, no one but his therapist. Sure, he’s figured Shiro knows by now that he has some sexual trauma, but Shiro didn’t know that the person who molested Keith was the coach that Shiro  _ left _ him with. Now there’s going to be a trial… Will Keith have to come forward? Will authorities reach out to him? Is he a bad person if he doesn’t stand up now? 

“Keith, Baby, shh, shh.” Shiro says, quickly sitting down next to him and pulling Keith into a frantic hug, setting the phone down and stroking his back in a desperate attempt to soothe him. “Deep breaths, it’s okay. I understand, it’s all okay.”

“Shiro, h-how am I gonna go out there?” Keith gasps, trying to find a way to take in air, but it’s like his lungs are closed off. “Shiro, Coach Dayak assaulted me. I-I might have to come out about this and, I-I…”

“I know, Baby, I know. I’m  _ so  _ sorry, I can’t even imagine-”

“Huh?” Keith hiccups, pulling back a little as he looks up at Shiro. “W-What do you mean, you know?”

Shiro bites his lip and looks off to the side, chewing it a little before he meets Keith’s eyes again. “I… I-It’s nothing like what you went through, but one time, he um… H-He tried it on me. He approached me in the locker room, but I got away from him and that’s… that’s why I left to train in Japan.” Shiro swallows. “I had no idea he was doing that to you, Keith, I swear, but from what you told me and all the anxiety you had about sex, I figured that he might have been the person who hurt you. I just didn’t want to ask because I wanted you to tell me your story on your own if you ever wanted to a-and I wasn’t even sure if I was right, I just wanted to give you the space to talk without asking questions about what happened.”

Keith’s really going to be sick. He doesn’t know where the sound is coming from, but there’s ringing in his ears. His vision is blurry and if he could see red, he  _ would _ . 

Shiro  _ knew? _

Keith doesn’t give a flying fuck if since their romantic relationship, Shiro had put two and two together about what Keith has been through, but back then… When they were kids, when they were up and coming, when Shiro was his best friend in the world, he  _ knew _ their coach was a predator and he left Keith with him? And Keith was about to trust Shiro with his virginity… It feels like a black hole is opening in his chest, his heart sinking right into it, crumpling as he feels his world crash around him.

“Keith?” Shiro’s expression is pained. “I… I-I didn’t mean to suggest that I knew exactly what happened to you, I just want you to know, I-I’m here for you and-”

“ _ Fuck _ you.” Keith hisses, shoving Shiro back as a fresh wave of tears blur his vision. The push doesn’t do much - Keith’s a hell of a lot smaller - but it does force Shiro out of hugging distance as Keith stands up, thankful he already has his skate guards on. 

“What?” Shiro’s eyes are welling up and Keith knows he looks heartbroken, shocked, and hurt, but that’s not enough. It’s not  _ near _ enough. “Baby-”

“Don’t call me that.” Keith grits, grinding his teeth as he looks down at him, his fists clenched so hard that his nails are digging in to the flesh of his palm. He’s shaking for a different reason. “You fucking  _ knew _ . You knew our coach was a  _ fucking pedophile _ and you knew that you were the only person I had in the world and you LEFT ME WITH HIM!” Keith is screaming before he realizes it, but he’s past giving a fuck if anyone hears. From the look of the news, his secret will be out soon enough. Everyone knows how long Keith trained with that coach as a junior. “Do you know when he started touching me more? When everything got ten times worse, Shiro?” He knows there are tears rolling down his cheeks but he doesn’t wipe them away as he lets his eyes bore into Shiro. He wants Shiro to feel every ounce of guilt, shame, and pure  _ shittiness _ that has weighed on Keith’s shoulders for a decade. “It was after  _ you _ fucking left.”

Shiro’s expression practically shatters, tears filling his eyes as he looks back at Keith like a baby deer in the headlights. “I… I-I didn’t know he was doing that to you, I’m so sorry, Keith. I-If I could go back in time-”

“You can’t.” Keith cuts him off. He can see the quickness of Shiro’s breath the panic in his eyes, all the telltale signs. Shiro’s about to have a panic attack. Just an hour ago, Keith would have dropped everything to comfort and coo to him, but right now, Keith couldn’t care less. He’s never felt so much rage in his life and if there’s anything he’s going to do now, it’ll be to guarantee that Takashi fucking Shirogane doesn’t walk out of here with a gold medal too. “Don’t you dare even fucking look at me out there, you got that? You’re not hurting me again. You’re not going to fucking  _ win _ today after this.”

Shiro is looking at him, completely helpless, his mouth quivering and he honest to God looks terrified, but Keith can’t take it in right now. He can’t feel anything else but this ball of white hot rage in his gut. He wants to scream, throw his skates, punch the wall until his knuckles bleed, yell at Shiro for hours until he realizes how he  _ abandoned _ him. All the feelings Keith worked through in therapy, the resentment he felt towards Shiro, come rushing back. Suddenly, he’s fourteen again, alone, without his best friend, with no defense against a predator. 

“We’re late for warm up.” Keith spits, hastily wiping his eyes as he turns on his heels to walk out. Shiro won’t take this victory from him. If by the end of the day, everyone knows what’s happened to him, so be it. They’ll know him as the Grand Prix Final Champion too by the end of the weekend. 

“Keith!” Coran yelps as soon as he walks up to the edge of the ice. “Warm up started three minutes ago, where on Earth is Shiro? Where have you been?!”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Keith says before stepping on the ice. He still has a few minutes to get his warm up in. 

Shiro doesn’t come out. 

Keith shoves everything out of his mind, but the rage lingers. He channels it as he scrapes across the ice, throwing a triple axel that he lands with a power he’s not used to at all. The crowd erupts in cheers and Keith smirks. There may still be another day of competition tomorrow, but this moment is his. Shiro won’t take this from him too. This is  _ his _ . 

At the end of the warm up, he dodges Coran’s questions, ignoring him as he goes to sit on his own and watch his competitors. Allura is here. She’s competing in the ladies’ short program after them, but when she shoots him a look, Keith waves her off. He’s still trembling just a little bit and he wants to stay focused, hoping no cameras will catch the dried tear tracks on his cheeks.

He sees Shiro emerge during the first skater, an up and comer from South Korea. He tries to be subtle as he watches Shiro talk to Coran. He looks sick as a dog and clearly like he’s been crying his eyes out, but Keith squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t care. The tiny fragment of pain Shiro might be feeling right now is nothing compared to the pain he caused by fucking  _ leaving  _ Keith back then. Keith doesn’t care how long ago it was. Shiro’s even more of an asshole for doing that and then coming back to make Keith fall in fucking love with him. 

He feels a twang of anger again when he watches Adam skate. He’s furious with Shiro, maybe even done with him for good, but he does still think this guy is a sack of shit. He chuckles a little when he stumbles, then quickly composes himself in the hope no camera catches him being a smug asshole. That wouldn’t be good for the already circulating rumor that he’s a brat. But Adam does skate poorly and the score speaks for itself, placing him last for the short program so far. 

Lance is the third skater and Keith cheers on his teammate, ignoring the sickening nausea in his belly as he whoops and hollers just for the sake of staying distracted. 

Keith moves to the floor during the fourth skater, dropping into a split and stretching thoroughly before downing some water. He dodges Coran again when he takes the ice. He knows it doesn’t look good. Even if he’s shaking it off, it’s obvious he’s been crying and Shiro looks like a wreck. The rumors will fly, but he is  _ not _ getting derailed now.

He takes his place at center ice the moment it’s time and shuts his eyes, breathing in deep. He feels the silence of the arena, the cold air against his skin, focusing himself completely. When the music begins, he flows into his choreography effortlessly. The rage in his belly is fuel, lighting a fire under him as he begins to move across the ice, backed by the intro to Prince’s  _ Let’s Go Crazy _ .

_ Fuck _ Shiro, Keith thinks.  _ Fuck _ his coach.  _ Fuck _ all the fucking people who want a piece of him - the homophobes, the rape apologists,  _ everyone _ . If Keith can’t have anything else in this world, he’ll have the Finals gold. No one can take this from him unless he lets them. 

He arches his back in a deep Ina Bauer, listening to the music as the swelling keyboard provides the perfect soundtrack to his performance. For his first jumping pass, he goes into it with more speed than usual, gritting his teeth as he leaps into a triple axel and lands it perfectly, the crowd roaring as he continues on. He feels like there’s fire pumping through his veins. He’s going to give this program every single thing he’s got. 

He spins faster than he ever does in competition, staying perfectly centered through sheer will even as he lifts his leg above his head in a deep Bielman spin.  _ Try to pull off a move like  _ this _ Shiro _ , he thinks bitterly as he spins until his leg comes down and he starts building speed for his next jumping pass. He’s upgraded this combination to a quadruple flip with a triple toe on the end and he launches into it with even more power than he gives it in practice. He comes down hard on the landing, but gets right back up in the air for a perfect triple toe, pumping his fist when he exits the jump.  _ Fuck _ yes. 

The crowd is with him every step of the way as he moves through the program, some singing along, others chanting his name, and when Keith lands his final jump - a quadruple lutz - with sheer perfection, he cheers with them. 

He cheers without meaning to as he moves out of the jump and through his final sequence. The tears are coming back, but they’re different. These are happy tears welling in his eyes as he rotates through his final spin, a quick scratch spin at center ice before he drops to the ice right in time with the ending of the music and strikes a pose, his fist raised in the air in victory as the crowd jumps to their feet. 

The anger is gone. It’s replaced by complete, unfiltered happiness as Keith looks out at the crowd, his eyes wide like he’s just as surprised as they are at what he just accomplished. Looking towards the edge of the rink, Coran is applauding, but he still looks concerned. Keith doesn’t care. He laughs and wipes his eyes as he stands up, waving to the crowd and giving a few bows before he skates over to Coran, avoiding looking over at Shiro. 

“ _ Keith _ , that was an incredible performance, but what on Earth is going on with you?” Coran asks, his voice riddled with worry as he hands Keith his skate guards and his jacket. 

“I’m fine.” Keith answers, popping the plastic guards onto his blades and cocking his head towards the kiss and cry. “Let’s get the scores, yeah?” 

Coran follows him over and Keith takes an eager seat in the kiss and cry booth, waving more to the crowd as they wait for the numbers. He feels elated. Even if everything about his trauma comes out, he can be remembered for this, not just as some monster’s victim. 

“ _ The scores please…” _

Keith holds his breath. 

“ _ One hundred and twelve point five seven. A new world record for short program score.” _

“Holy shit.” Keith gasps, the crowd in an uproar as he feels his eyes well up again. He broke Shiro’s record. If he maintains it, it could be part of his legacy, everything he ever wanted. 

“Great job, my boy!” Coran whoops before yanking him into a bone crushing hug. Keith wonders how the man always smells like cinnamon. “Whatever’s going on, we’ll talk about it later. That’s a miraculous score!”

“Thanks, Coran.” Keith laughs, wiping his eyes again before waving goodbye to the crowd and standing to take his seat. He’s almost forgotten about the situation at hand until the announcer comes back on over the loudspeaker. 

“_Now on the ice… Takashi Shirogane_ _of Japan_.”

Shit. With the shock to his system of breaking a world record, Keith doesn’t feel so… furious anymore. He’s still hurt - deeply. There’s a pang in his chest when he remembers he’s just learned Shiro abandoned him all those years ago  _ with _ the knowledge that he was leaving Keith with a predator. But looking out at him on the ice, seeing Shiro’s pink frightened eyes and the way his posture trembles, Keith doesn’t see the monster he just saw in the locker room. He feels like his heart’s been torn in two, but… he’s still worried. That’s still Shiro out there. And Keith thinks he still loves him. 

He takes his seat and chews on his lip as Shiro’s music starts. He doesn’t want him to fail out there, he’s just…  _ Ugh _ , what the fuck  _ is _ he feeling? He’s still mad and he’s hurt and he could cry again, but he’s also so happy about his own performance and record. He’s anxious about what the press will ask him when the day’s competition is over, nervous for Shiro to do well, but conflicted because of how fucking  _ angry _ he is at him right now. The worst part is, he just wants a hug. Not the quick kind his friends give him on a bad day, but the tender, warm, and loving kind that Shiro gives him. But Keith can’t have that right now because he’s hurt. Shiro’s the one who just  _ hurt him _ , he shouldn’t be craving his touch. The new realization that they were supposed to have their first time together in just a couple nights hits him and suddenly, he’s grieving that too. Does he still… want that with Shiro?

Keith looks up, shaking himself out of his thoughts just in time to see Shiro pop what was supposed to be a quadruple loop into a devastating single. Shit. A mistake like that is enough not to just threaten Shiro’s chance at gold, but the podium all together. It’s worth zero points. Keith quickly looks to the jumbotron and a close up of Shiro’s face shows him looking terrified. He’s never looked so scared on the ice. Keith’s heart sinks with guilt as he watches Shiro struggle to move through his program. His spin travels and his balance is shaky. When he goes for his triple axel, his feet skid right out from under him on the landing and he falls. Hard. 

There’s a few different kinds of falls in figure skating. There’s the kind that hurt like a bitch, but you get right back up from. There’s the little ones that come by surprise, the kind you can almost laugh off. Then there’s the kind where it takes a second to get up, the kind that knock the wind out of you, put you behind your music. That’s the kind of fall Shiro just had and it looks like he might have even injured his arm as he tries to continue his choreography. 

Keith’s stomach is feeling sick again. He doesn’t feel like his outburst in the locker room was necessarily… unwarranted. But he also didn’t mean to affect Shiro so much that he wouldn’t be able to skate. It’s painful to watch, the crowd dead silent as they watch a trainwreck unfold. Shiro trips on a step sequence, falling again and Keith gasps, covering his mouth with his hand as he watches Shiro stumble up. This isn’t what he wants. He’s still mad, he’s still hurt, but he doesn’t want to see Shiro break a bone out there. He doesn’t want to see Shiro humiliated. 

Shiro’s clearly shaken badly as he continues through his program. The confidence, swagger, and sex appeal he usually moves to the low guitar notes with has fizzled out, his nerves completely evident. When he goes for his final jump, Keith’s chest tightens. Shiro already doesn’t have enough speed. He hopes he pops it rather than going for a quad and hurting himself, but Shiro goes for the full rotation. 

It’s like it happens in slow motion. Keith watches as Shiro tries with all his might to launch himself in the air, but without the speed, and entering the air off axis, he comes down hard. His feet skid out from under him and he falls towards the edge of the ice, his head smacking against the wooden boards with a  _ thwack! _ that can be heard throughout the arena. 

“Shiro!” Keith cries out without meaning to, leaping to his feet as he watches Shiro struggle to get up. There’s blood. Not a pool of it like when Keith got his face cut, but against the white boards, there’s a patch of blood and a trickle of it running down Shiro’s neck, evident by his white hair. He’s hurt bad. 

Shiro signals the ref and only manages to push himself up to his knees, the music stopping. 

No, no, no. Keith couldn’t have done this to him. Even if he resents Shiro more than ever for their past, he can’t forget about their present - the way Shiro had rushed to him when Keith had gotten hurt, taken him to the hospital, fed him, cared for him,  _ loved  _ him. He scrambles up, still in his skate guards, and rushes to the edge of the ice. 

“Keith, what are you doing?” Coran questions as Keith takes his guards off. “Let the medical team and the referee get to him, you can’t just-”

Keith ignores him and steps onto the ice, skating quickly over to where Shiro’s knelt down, the medical team already shuffling their way over on the ice. “Takashi, Baby, Baby, are you okay?” Keith asks desperately as he kneels down next to him. He knows he’s within earshot of the front row and probably a microphone or two, but he doesn’t care. Fuck it if people know about their relationship, Shiro’s bleeding on the ice. “I-I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean to upset you so much you’d get hurt, I was just freaking out a-and… Are you okay? We need to take you to the hospital. Your head…”

“You don’t hate me?” Shiro croaks, his eyes wet as he looks up at Keith. Keith’s never seen him look so small before. He’s clearly in pain, but he looks more heartbroken than he looks injured. 

“Mr. Shirogane, um…” The referee looks between them, a middle aged man with a slight blush on his face at the unfolding of the scandal at his feet. “Just to confirm, you’re withdrawing from the competition?”

“Yeah.” Shiro swallows. “I-I can’t finish. Thank you.”

“Alright then, the medical team will get you to a hospital. I’ll go inform your coach.”

“C-Can I come with you?” Keith asks, wincing as he looks at the thin trail of blood staining the back of Shiro’s neck. “I understand if you don’t want me to-”

“Please come.” Shiro gives a weak nod. “I’m so sorry, Keith.”

“We’ll talk about it later.” Keith says, knowing he’s still too upset to tell Shiro it’s perfectly alright, but he knows he still loves him. Right now, he just wants to take care of him and they’ll work their shit out later. “I’m here for you. Let me get you up, okay?”

Shiro gives another nod and Keith’s heart breaks when he hears him sniffle. Shiro hardly ever cries. The only instance he can think of is the time at the restaurant when Adam had attacked him on Twitter. 

Keith helps him up, wrapping an arm around Shiro’s waist, letting him lean on him as he helps him skate towards the medical team, who get him on a stretcher. 

“Can he ride in the ambulance with me?” Shiro asks, his voice hoarse. How hard had he been crying before he came out of the locker room?

“Of course.” A paramedic nods. Usually, a concussion may not warrant four medical professionals and an ambulance, but there’s always one on standby at competitions for events like this. It’s procedure. 

Once they’re off the ice, Keith rushes to untie his skates and slings them over his shoulder to follow the paramedics outside to the ambulance. Coran meets them there with their things and climbs into the back with Keith to sit beside Shiro, his face still full of complete bewilderment as they ride to the hospital. 

“Could I hold your hand?” Shiro asks in a whisper and Keith takes it without hesitation, kissing Shiro’s forehead as he grabs his hand and squeezes. 

“Don’t doze off, Baby. We’re almost there.”

“Hurts.” Shiro grumbles, shifting uncomfortably on the stretcher and Keith runs his thumb over the back of his hand to soothe him. 

“I know.” Keith hushes. “You’ll feel better soon. You hit your head really hard out there.”

“Not as bad as you getting your face slashed open.” Shiro actually manages a low laugh, a sweet rumble in his chest that does wonders to put Keith’s mind at ease. He’s still got his sense of humor. 

“Yeah, well, I guess it’s my turn to play nurse.”

“...Is anyone going to tell me what on Earth happened today?” Coran pipes up and Keith waves him off. 

“Later.” He answers, eyes still locked on Shiro as he brings his free hand up to caress his cheek. “Right now, let’s just take care of him.”

Keith gets his shoes on in the ambulance and follows the stretcher when they arrive at the hospital. Coran agrees to stay in the waiting room to avoid overcrowding Shiro as Keith goes with him. He holds Shiro’s hand when a doctor cleans up the wound on the back of his head. He has to get a few stitches and Keith soothes him the whole way through, talking to him in a low voice to keep Shiro distracted, even giving him a kiss or two. His anger can wait. Shiro needs him more than ever. 

The doctor orders an MRI, which confirms Shiro has a concussion, and they put him up in a cozy room with a bed to monitor his condition for a while longer. Shiro must have one hell of an insurance plan, but Keith is grateful for the privacy as he sits on the side of the bed and strokes his hand up and down Shiro’s thigh over the thin hospital blanket. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro says, drowsy as he looks up at the ceiling. “I’m… so fucking sorry, Keith. If you could ever forgive me-”

“Shiro, you don’t have to apologize right now. We’ll talk about that stuff later.”

“I can’t wait.” Shiro swallows, looking back at Keith with glassy eyes, his head bandaged in the back. “I… I-I love you so much, Keith. I can’t stand knowing that when I left all those years ago, that you… th-that he… Keith, I was just a stupid kid.” His voice starts to wobble. “I-I was scared after what Coach tried to do to me and I-I didn’t even stop to think he might be doing it to other people too, I just got out of there. It broke my heart leaving you behind back then, but I never  _ ever _ thought that you would have gotten hurt the way you did just because I left. I-I would have stayed if I did, but I was a dumb fucking teenager and Keith, I swear to  _ God _ I didn’t know. I was just scared and I ran.” 

Shiro’s crying again. Not the angry sobs that Keith had let out in the locker room, but quiet tears rolling down his cheeks. It’s the helpless kind of crying, the begging kind. Shiro looks like his whole world is crashing down around him and if Keith’s being honest… he looks just like how Keith felt when Shiro left him as a kid back then. Keith believes him. 

It takes a moment of thought, but Keith knows that Shiro’s telling the truth. His kind, sweet, sunshiney Shiro would never hurt a fly. He remembers all the rationalizing he did in therapy. Even if Shiro  _ did _ know the coach was a predator, he still hadn’t known what was happening to Keith. They were kids. Keith couldn’t have expected him to. 

“I-I believe you.” Keith nods. “I’m sorry I lost it, I’m just… I-I’m so terrified right now.” He lets out a nervous laugh, his own eyes welling up. “I-I don’t want to come out with my story, but Coach um… H-He um…” Keith’s mouth quivers for a moment before he steadies himself. “H-He took pictures of me a few times. I-If they found evidence of everything he’s been up to, I know I’ll be in there somewhere. I-I know cops are probably going to come knocking any day after this competition ends and I don’t want to face that on my own.”

“You don’t have to.” Shiro says, reaching forward to take Keith’s hand in his, squeezing it. “I know what happened to me is nothing in comparison, but I’ll be right there with you. I’ll talk to them about what he tried to do to me too, I’ll be by your side, whatever you need from me.”

“You’d do that?” Keith swallows. 

“Keith, of  _ course _ , I would. I… I-I love you.” Shiro says with another squeeze to Keith’s hand. “When I was skating out there, I thought I’d just lst you completely. Even if we’ve been taking things slow, you’re still my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Me neither.” Keith sighs, giving in completely and moving up the bed, so he can lie down. The nurse can yell at him to get off when she comes back, but for now, Keith rests his head on Shiro’s chest and hugs him. “I think I might have outted our entire relationship back there, you know.”

“Welp, we’ll uh… Deal with that together too.” Shiro laughs and Keith is just  _ so _ relieved that Shiro is still laughing. “I think we also owe Coran several apologies.”

“Oh, big time.”

“But at least he’ll have you, yeah? I mean you’re getting gold for sure.”

Shit. Keith’s heart sinks at the realization he’ll be competing without Shiro tomorrow. “Kashi, I don’t… have to skate tomorrow. It’s not a fair win.”

“And let Adam get on the podium? Hell no, Baby. You’re winning this competition fair and square. You were going to beat me even if I didn’t blow it today.” Shiro gives a sweet smile and presses a kiss to the top of Keith’s head. “I’m  _ so _ proud of you breaking my record today. You really deserve it.”

“Even after all the awful shit I just said to you?”

“Keith, you’re going through something huge right now and I’m not gonna defend leaving you, even if we were young back then.” Shiro nuzzles his nose against Keith’s hair. “I’m just relieved you still love me.”

“Yeah, well… I don’t think anyone could make me fall out of love with you at this point.”

“Yeah?” Shiro grins and Keith laughs a little at how dorky he is, leaning up to share a soft kiss with the man he loves until they hear the door to the room creak open. 

“Mr. Kogane, please get off of the patient’s bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @nuttinonice for important fic updates! If you're itching for the next chapter, chapter 5 is already up on another platform which you can find in my Twitter bio. 
> 
> I hope you guys are enjoying this so far!! The next chapter has uh... let's just say the moment you're all probably waiting for ha ha


	5. For The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you.” Keith whispers between kisses, each meeting of their lips soft and tender. Shiro’s opened the curtains and they’re on a high enough floor that Keith doesn’t feel any breach of privacy. Outside is the night skyline of Milan, the exact backdrop Keith wanted for this night. 
> 
> “I love you too, Keith.” Shiro murmurs in response, turning his head to kiss down Keith’s neck as his hands slide down Keith’s sides, landing on his waist. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”
> 
> “I’d never trust anyone but you with it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this update! I really loved writing this chapter and chapter 6 is already up on anther platform. If you're interested in finding that, head to my twitter after @nuttinonice
> 
> As always, don't forget to mind the tags! We're heading into the more graphic chapters of the fic.

“We should stop reading the news.”  
“I know.” Keith sighs. “It’s just… hard to look away from.” He puts his phone on Shiro’s bedside table and snuggles back in to him. Corans coming in a few minutes to talk and Keith’s made up his mind that he won’t be going back to the hotel room for the night. Now that he’s had time to think, he doesn’t just feel horrible about how he treated Shiro, he feels responsible for him getting injured too.   
“Are you sure you want to stay the night here? I mean, Baby, it’s gonna mess up your back and you still have to compete tomorrow.”  
“I don’t care about winning tomorrow if you’re not gonna be there to compete with.” Keith says, his head still rested on Shiro’s chest. “Plus, I’m not leaving you alone in the hospital after you took care of me and after I treated you like shit today.”  
“Keith, today was insanely triggering for you. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”  
Keith just grimaces and leans up to kiss Shiro’s cheek. “How’s the pain? Do you need anything?”  
“I’m fine.” Shiro laughs a little and gives Keith a squeeze. “Thanks for being here.”  
There’s a knock on the hospital room door and Keith stays put, refusing to let go of Shiro even if it’s another mean nurse, but Coran is the one who steps in, a duffel bag over his shoulder and Keith’s costume for tomorrow on a hanger.   
“Hi boys.” Coran says, his voice solemn as he carefully places Keith’s things on a chair and looks at the two of them. “I… saw the news.”  
“Yeah.” Keith shrinks, holding on to Shiro a little tired.   
“Did um…” Coran takes a deep breath, his expression pained as he looks at Keith especially. “Were you two hurt by him?”  
Keith swallows hard and gives a weak nod. “I-I was. He tried it on Shiro, but Shiro left before anything happened. I um… I-I stayed.”  
“Keith…” Coran’s face falls as he walks up to the bedside. “Keith, why didn’t you tell anyone? I mean not that you have to or should have come forward, I just mean… Keith, I… I would have done something. I never would have let a monster like that roam around if I knew he’d hurt my skaters - hurt anyone like this.”  
Keith’s eyes start to well up again, but he blinks them back. He’s cried enough for one day. Looking at his email a few minutes ago, he saw reporters were already contacting him to ask the same question. Did Coach Dayak molest him too? If he didn’t, did Keith know his coach was a predator? The thought of doing an interview about his experience makes his stomach roil. He hasn’t even gotten all the details out to Shiro yet. “I-I never told anyone except a therapist a-and just today, Shiro. After I saw the news.”  
“Well no wonder you two were going through something before the competition.” Coran sighs. “Keith, I’m encouraging you to skate, but if you don’t feel like you can skate tomorrow, I understand.”  
“I know, but I’m going to. I promised Shiro I wouldn’t let Adam on the podium.”  
“Adam?” Coran cocks an eyebrow.   
“Uh… long story.” Shiro blushes. “We don’t get along.”  
“He does seem like a bit of a twat.” Coran shrugs. “Keith, I’m going to do everything I can to keep the press off of you two, alright? Focus on skating. We can deal with this afterwards and if you decide to make any sort of public statement, just let me know beforehand so I can protect you. Does that sound fair?”  
“Yeah.” Keith croaks, his voice a little hoarse again. “Thanks, Coran.”  
“You can always talk to me, you got that, lad?” Coran walks up and gives his shoulder a squeeze. “You’re like a son to me. I would never let any harm come to you. Or you, Shiro.” He says, looking up. “You boys let me know if you need anything. I’ve already spoken to the doctor. Do you two still want to spend your extra night at the hotel?”  
Keith blushes and looks up at Shiro, silently asking the question - are we still going to have sex? “I don’t mind. Do you feel up to it, Takashi? If you want to go straight home, I’ll go with you.”  
“I… wouldn’t mind staying the extra night after all this.” Shiro smiles. “We’ll fly home as scheduled, Coran. Thank you.”  
“No worries, just contact me if you need anything, alright? I’ll be right around the corner at the hotel.”  
“Thanks, Coran.” Keith repeats, waving goodbye to him when Coran leaves the hospital room.   
When the door closes behind him, Shiro strokes Keith’s hair back, giving him a kiss on the top of his head. “We don’t have to have sex tomorrow if you don’t want to. I’m not going to hold you to anything.”  
“I know, but I want to.” Keith sighs. “Coach has taken so much from me already and I’m not letting him fuck this up to. I love you and I really want this, so… let’s do it, you know?”  
“No concussion is gonna stop me from making love to the world’s hottest figure skater.”  
“Shut up.” Keith snorts. “Just tell me if you change your mind. I think it’d be pretty embarrassing if you have to come back here because we hit your head being horny idiots.”  
“Hm, guess I’ll just have to lie on top of you.”  
“Sounds sexy now, but you’re gonna pout when you have to sleep on your stomach.”  
“Shit.” Shiro does pout, sticking his lower lip out until Keith leans up and sucks it into his mouth in a kiss, nibbling on it a bit before letting go. “What if I can’t get a boner on the pain meds?”  
“I’m gonna be naked. You’ll have a boner.”  
“True enough.”   
Keith’s phone buzzes on the table and Shiro cups his face before he can look at the screen, keeping Keith’s eyes on him instead.   
“Try to put it out of your mind for now.” Shiro murmurs, pushing the hair out of Keith’s eyes. “We can figure out what to do about the coach situation after this weekend, yeah?”  
“Yeah.” Keith sighs. “You’re right. I’m dropping out of the press conference and the exhibition skate, so we’ll be able to escape as soon as I’m done skating tomorrow.”  
“I’ll be right there to watch you.”  
“Takashi, you should rest. You’re really hurt.”  
“I’m not even close to being too injured to watch you win the final.” Shiro says with another kiss, his lips so soft and soothing against Keith’s lips, Keith can’t believe he ever snapped at him as hard as he did. Shiro’s still the sweetest guy he knows.   
“Thanks, Shiro.” Keith smiles, nuzzling their noses together. “The doctors said it’s okay, so go back to sleep for now, alright? You need to rest up.”  
“Nap with me?”  
“I’ll be here all night.” Keith shrugs, settling right back onto Shiro’s chest. “Sure you don’t need anything?”  
“You need rest too, Keith.”  
* * * * *  
“You look great, Baby.”  
“You don’t look so bad yourself. Sexy bandage.” Keith winks as Shiro zips him into his costume. He wishes Shiro would stay back and rest, but he’s honestly glad he’s here at the arena. He cancelled his appearance at the press conference and it’s easier when he doesn’t have to dodge the press alone. Shiro gave one quick comment about his injury, said he’d be back on his feet soon enough, then ushered Keith away as soon as someone asked about their coach’s charges. Someone tried to ask about their relationship on the way out and they managed to power walk away.  
Now it’s just the two of them in the locker room, minutes before warm up, and Keith is skating last. He’s rattled badly by the news still, but Shiro’s making it easier to keep his mind off of it. He has an easy win here and then they’ll escape to a romantic night of just the two of them. Keith’s nervous for that too, but it’s the good kind of butterflies in his stomach - kind that mean excitement, not just anxiety. The only statement he’s made to the press at all was one sentence on Twitter. I’m skating for Shiro today.   
“You’re gonna kill it out there. Low pressure, yeah?” Shiro says, his smile sweet as honey as he fixes Keith’s hair a bit, drops his hands to squeeze his waist. “You’re so sexy in this you know.”  
“Mm, just wait until you see me tonight.” Keith teases, turning around in his skates to give Shiro a kiss. With Shiro in sneakers and him in his skates, he’s the same height as Shiro. It’s fun to just lean in and kiss him without getting up on his toes. Keith’s costume for the Radiohead themed free skate is a sheer black top with gold glitter that wraps around his middle fingers at the end to create a glove illusion. It’s skin tight and Keith wishes he had his nipples pierced because they’d look completely badass against the fabric.  
“Don’t get me excited yet.” Shiro gives Keith one more kiss on the lips, lingering for a little longer this time, still holding his waist to keep him close before they part. “You ready?”  
“To kick your ex boyfriend’s ass? Hell yeah.”  
“Go get ‘em, firecracker.” Shiro says with a grin, smacking his lips to Keith’s cheek for good measure before they leave the locker room together to get Keith out on the ice.   
They walk out into the arena to the sound of thunderous applause and Keith breathes a sigh of relief that no one seems to be looking at him with pity. Shiro gets a few sad glances, but that’s just because he’s too injured to compete. Keith leads Shiro to take a seat by Coran and resists the urge to give him a kiss. Even if he did expose their relationship, they haven’t talked about how to navigate the new territory in public yet.   
“Love you.’ Shiro whispers so only Keith can hear when they part and Keith smiles down at him.   
“Love you too. I’m gonna win this for both of us, alright?”  
“I know you will.” Shiro smiles back at him before Keith turns toward the ice, walking up to Coran for a swig of water and to pop his guards off before joining the rest of the competitors for warm up. He’s late, but he’s past caring at this point. It’s not like missing thirty seconds of warm up disqualifies you.   
Keith takes deep breaths as he moves across the ice, feeling the air whip against his face, letting the scrape of his blades against the ice push his anxiety away as he feels his muscles warm up, practicing a few spins to get himself in the right headspace before running his triple axel once and landing it perfectly (much to the audience’s satisfaction).   
When the warm up ends, he leaves the ice satisfied and slips into a jacket to stay warm before taking his seat next to Shiro. He knows Adam still might grab bronze, but he hopes he ends up off the podium altogether. Shiro doesn’t need anything else to deal with right now and neither does Keith.   
“Can I?” Shiro asks, offering his hand as the first skater takes the ice. “We don’t have to in front of everyone.”  
Keith just smiles at him and takes his hand, squeezing it and scootching closer to him. He sees a few camera flashes in the distance, knows there’s people watching them, but he doesn’t care. He feels better being stared at because he’s on the arm of someone like Shiro than being stared at because he’s a victim of a monster coach. He supposes no one knows for sure that he’s a victim yet, but he knows everyone’s guessing.  
It feels good to hold Shiro’s hand in front of others. Hell yeah, his boyfriend is the Takashi Shirogane. Everyone else can suck it.   
Adam actually puts out a pretty good skate, but luckily Lance and the newcomer place over him. All Keith has to do is place third to snatch a medal from him and Keith doesn’t miss the sigh of relief he hears from Shiro when Adam gets his scores. He wonders if there’s a little more to that story than just Adam’s denial and a bad break up. Maybe he’ll ask Shiro about that later.   
When it’s almost time for Keith to take the ice, he takes a deep breath, turning towards Shiro. “We’re gonna be a media pariah soon anyways. I don’t think I want to go to all the trouble of censoring our relationship too.” He knocks his knee against Shiro’s. “Can I get a kiss for good luck?”  
Shiro’s eyes light up. “Of course.”   
Keith ignores the cameras and leans in close, pressing his lips against Shiro’s and enjoying the warmth of the kiss in the cold arena. He hears a few “ooh”s and “ah”s, but he pulls away grinning. It feels good to be proud.   
“Good luck, Baby. Go kill it.” Shiro says just in time for the announcer to crackle on.   
“Taking the ice next is… Keith Kogane of the United States of America.”  
Keith stands up to thunderous applause and hands Shiro his skate guards, walking up to the edge of the ice for a clap on the back from Coran before skating out to center. He cracks his neck, makes sure he’s nice and loose as he takes his starting position and waits for the music. It’s the easiest gold he’ll ever win at the finals.  
He rolls his shoulders with the music when it starts, gliding easily into his choreography. He still loves his music, even after listening to it a million times for practice. It’s so much of what he feels right now. So much makes him an outcast in this sport, but here he is - and he punctuates it with a perfect quad toe.   
Glancing to the edge of the ice, Keith sees Shiro pump his fist and laughs. He’s never had a boyfriend openly cheer for him on the sidelines. It feels good.   
He lands his next combination with ease and he thinks he can hear Shiro whoop when he does his Bielman spin, feeling his heart thump at the idea of Shiro watching how flexible he is (even if he’s seen it before). Keith’s not even performing for the gold, he’s putting on a show for Shiro. He flips his hair a little more in the choreography than usual, arches his back a little deeper, rolls his body with ever so slightly more sex appeal than he’d typically put on. When he gets off the ice, he wants Shiro to be stifling a hard on. He wants to wear the gold medal around his neck when he debuts his lingerie tonight.   
There’s a near slip on his triple axel, but he spins out of it - better than a fall - and he can tell already that he’ll have more than enough points to secure a win by the time he lands his final combination with ease.   
He keeps his last spin centered, rotating quick and holding his posture until the music stops and he strikes his final pose, panting and soaked in sweat, but laughing from the sheer joy of it all as he relaxes and takes in the thunderous applause. His coach can’t take this from him. No matter how much trauma, how much hurt he inflicted, Keith is still standing here. He has a boyfriend who loves him cheering his name just off the ice and he knows he’s just won the grand prix final. He has love in his life. He has success. Maybe, he has the courage to tell his story after all.   
Keith wipes the sweat from his brow and skates to the edge of the ice to meet Coran and Shiro.   
“Great job, my boy!” Coran cheers, handing Keith is jacket and skate guards to pop on before letting him chug half his water bottle.   
“Keith, that was beautiful.” Shiro beams, pulling him into a hug and kissing the top of his head - public spectacle be damned.   
“Will you come with me to the kiss and cry?”  
“Really?” Shiro blushes. “You sure?”  
“I want you there with me. This win is for both of us.” Keith smiles as he reaches his hand out, letting Shiro take it before they walk together with Coran to the kiss and cry booth to get his scores.  
Keith sits close to Shiro and holds his hand tight, trying to quiet the ever so tiny voice in the back of his head suggesting he still might not win this when the score is announced.   
“The scores please…. For Keith Kogane of the United States, two hundred and five point three, putting him in first place.”  
“Yes!” Keith all but squeaks as he yanks Shiro into another hug, squeezing the life out of him before he turns and does the same to Coran. “Thanks for putting up with all my shit, Coran. I fucking love you.”  
“Aw, I love you too my boy.” Coran chuckles, patting Keith’s back a bit. “Go get your medal and I’ll let you two be on your way. No press today.”  
“Thank you.” Keith breathes a sigh of relief and gives Shiro’s knee one more squeeze before he stands up. They’re already rolling the carpet onto the ice for the medal ceremony.   
When the podium is soon set up, Keith gets to stand at the top with pride, a flower crown from a fan around his head as he holds a massive bouquet and smiles so hard his face hurts when the gold medal is placed around his neck. His eyes well up a little when the national anthem plays, not because of the song, but just because it’s for him. He won this. Sure, he did this for Shiro too, but he did it. Grand Prix Final champion.   
Shiro is there for him as soon as the ceremony ends to lead him back down to the locker room, carefully packing away the medal and flower crown for him (as a keepsake) before helping him undress. “Do you want to go out to dinner first or anything before we uh… do the deed?”  
“Nope.” Keith smiles as he tugs on a pair of leggings and slides into a clean t-shirt. “Hotel. Now. We’re doing this.”  
“Okay, Baby.” Shiro laughs, picking up Keith’s bouquet for him and giving him a kiss. “Guess I better call a cab.”  
* * * * *   
Keith banishes Shiro to the bed and locks himself in the bathroom with his suitcase to shower and change as soon as they’re back at the hotel. He feels like his skin is electric. His heart is pounding and he’s half hard with anticipation alone as he showers. Luckily, he waxes, so he’s fine on the hair front, but he still spends a lot of extra time scrubbing every nook and cranny of his body under the hot water. There isn’t any part of him Shiro won’t lick and Keith wants this to be perfect. He knows there’s gonna be moments where he feels scared, but he has to trust in himself and in Shiro to not let them derail the experience. Shiro will stop if he says so. Keith will tell him if something hurts, or if he needs to stop for a second. Keith will tell him what feels good too, guide Shiro on how he wants to be fucked, not just assume Shiro will have his way with him. Keith has just as much agency in this as Shiro does.   
He’s ready.   
When he’s out of the shower, he takes the time to blow dry his hair, smiling a little at the thought of Shiro just outside the door, horny and wanting as Keith makes him wait.   
When his hair is dry, he even puts on the tiniest bit of eyeliner and mascara before he slips into the lingerie and hangs his new gold medal around his neck. He feels like he looks a hundred times better than he did in the dressing room when him and Allura bought the outfit.   
The sheer red thong lifts his ass and cradles his dick perfectly, showing off everything Keith’s got and he’s obsessed with how he looks in the matching tank top. It’s all see through, so his nipples are perky and visible, the fabric clinging to his small waist. Shiro’s going to love it.   
Keith walks up to the bathroom door from the inside and knocks to get Shiro’s attention. “Takashi?”  
“Are you ready, Baby?”  
Keith blushes at the question. He is. Emotionally and physically. “Y-Yeah, I’m ready. Are you?”  
“I’m ready too. Come on out.”  
Keith takes a big breath, but he’s smiling when he pushes the bathroom door open, shutting it behind him as he looks at what Shiro’s prepared for him. “Oh, Takashi… You did all this?” He says as he looks around. Shiro had ordered champagne while he was in the shower and it’s sitting in a bucket of ice beside the bed. On the nightstand, there’s a strip of condoms and a bottle of strawberry lube. Over the comforter, Shiro’s put fake rose petals (real ones would have been hard to keep a secret without them dying) over the bedspread and he’s wearing something nice too. It’s not quite as extravagant as the lingerie Keith’s got on, but it’s a black thong that’s subtly lacey, clinging to his bulge in a way that makes Keith’s mouth water.   
“Wow.” Shiro breathes as he looks him over. “Baby, look at you.”  
“Do you like it?”  
“You’re fucking beautiful.”  
“I take that as a yes.” Keith says, turning around and giving himself a playful smack on the ass to make them both laugh.   
“Come here, firecracker.” Shiro teases and Keith is happily to oblige, walking up to the bed and crawling over Shiro, his hair hanging in his face and his medal resting on Shiro’s chest as he leans down to kiss him.   
“I love you.” Keith whispers between kisses, each meeting of their lips soft and tender. Shiro’s opened the curtains and they’re on a high enough floor that Keith doesn’t feel any breach of privacy. Outside is the night skyline of Milan, the exact backdrop Keith wanted for this night.   
“I love you too, Keith.” Shiro murmurs in response, turning his head to kiss down Keith’s neck as his hands slide down Keith’s sides, landing on his waist. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”  
“I’d never trust anyone but you with it.”  
“I’m gonna make you feel so good, Baby.”  
“Yeah?” Keith sighs as Shiro sucks on his collar. He loves when Shiro gives him hickeys there.   
“Mhm.” Shiro hums against him before pulling his lips away and sliding his hands down to his ass. “I’m gonna open you up so slow and sweet, Keith. I’m gonna make it feel so nice and I’m gonna make you come as many times as you want tonight.”  
More than once? Keith’s face turns pink.   
“It’s easier to relax if you have an orgasm before I’m inside you.” Shiro says, giving Keith’s ass a squeeze. “Lie down for me. I want to make you come with just my mouth and fingers first, does that sound good?”  
“Fuck, yes.” Keith sighs, rolling off of Shiro, so he’s on his back and can more easily spread his legs for him.  
Shiro lies over him and kisses him again with a fervor, more tongue than before, until they find themselves groaning and Shiro starts to move his mouth down. He gives Keith’s ears and his neck a little more love, working him up, before he moves down his chest. He presses a kiss to the medal, then carefully removes it from around Keith’s neck, setting it aside, so he can work up Keith’s top and give his chest some love too.   
Keith mews and hooks his legs over Shiro’s waist when he plays with his nipples, licking and sucking, nibbling ever so slightly and mouthing over the sensitive skin around them to cover Keith in love marks. Keith can’t wait to see what his body will look like in the morning.   
Shiro continues his journey downard, leaving warm kisses on Keith’s skin along the way until he gets to the fabric of the thong. “Fuck, Baby.” He moans like he’s helpless before he starts to kiss over Keith’s cock through the fabric.   
“Nnn, Shiro.” Keith gasps, thighs twitching as Shiro shamelessly licks him through the lace, sucks, and nuzzles until Keith is leaking for him, painfully hard already from just a little teasing.   
“Can’t help it.” He lets out a low laugh as he hooks his fingers around the waist. “Lift your hips for me, Baby.”  
Keith obeys and breathes a sigh of relief when he’s exposed, no longer confined by the panties as Shiro leans right in and licks up the underside of his dick. “Fuck.” He hisses, already starting to fist the bedsheets in his hands.  
“How you feeling so far, Love?”  
“Good.” Keith sighs as Shiro starts to pump him in his hand, providing some much needed stimulation. “This part is familiar, so I’m… I’m good.”  
“I’m gonna suck you for just a little bit, then it’s gonna be time to start fingering you, yeah?” Shiro punctuates the sentence with a kiss to the tip of Keith’s erection. “You still want that?”  
“Yeah.” Keith gives a desperate nod. “I… I-I’m nervous, but I want it. I want it really bad, Shiro.”  
“I’m gonna give it to you, Baby. Don’t worry. Just don’t forget to talk to me when I do it, yeah? We’re gonna go as slow as you want to.”  
“Okay.” Keith takes a deep breath and slides one hand into Shiro’s hair, careful to avoid the bandage. “Put your mouth on it please.”  
“Well, since you said please.”  
Keith moans when Shiro’s mouth envelopes him in the sweet wet warmth Keith craves, controlling himself just enough not to buck his hips or pull Shiro’s hair too hard. Luckily, Shiro’s done teasing him. He sucks him slowly, but he uses his tongue a lot, just how Keith likes as he pets Shiro’s hair and whispers little “thank you’s and “that’s so good.”  
Shiro’s hands stroke Keith’s thighs as he swallows around him, rubbing the insides of them to give Keith tingles and massaging his balls lightly, playing with them to make Keith whine. When he pulls his mouth away, Keith thinks it’s time to reach for the lube, but Shiro just spreads Keith’s legs wider and ducks further down.   
“Takashi!” Keith gasps when he feels his tongue lapping at his entrance. “Oh fuck, God, you know how much I fucking like that.” He whines, squirming, but not so much that he’ll accidentally pull away from Shiro’s tongue. Luckily, Shiro holds his hips in place as he licks into him, just barely, but it’s enough to drive Keith wild.   
“Good boy.” Shiro whispers when he lifts his head, crawling up to give Keith another deep kiss, letting him taste himself a little before Shiro reaches for the lube. “Are you ready? We’re gonna start slow and when you’re used to the fingers, I’m gonna go down on you again, so you can come, yeah?”  
“God, you’re way to good at this.”  
“I may have looked up some tips before tonight.” Shiro laughs, giving Keith a chaste peck on the lips as he pops the cap to the lube.  
Keith takes the liberty of shucking his top off and tossing it aside with his panties before laying back on the pillows and taking a deep breath. This part will be a little jarring, and that’s okay.  
“Do you want me to wear a condom?”  
“Um.” Keith bites his lip. “Y-Yeah, I think so. For the first time.”  
Shiro nods in understanding and sets the lube down, giving Keith another kiss before he reaches for the condoms and tears one off. “Do you want to put it on me?”  
“Yeah.” Keith gives a nervous laugh and sits himself up, opening the condom carefully and briefly flashing back to his high school sex ed class as he takes out the circle of latex and reaches out to hold Shiro steady. His cock is hard and warm to the touch. Keith’s mouth waters as he rolls the condom onto it, appreciating that Shiro bought pre-lubed. Even though he’s practiced on himself, he’s still scared it’ll hurt too much. Shiro is… big to say the least.  
Shiro lets out a pleased sigh when Keith strokes him and Keith leans up to give Shiro’s neck a little attention, kissing along the sensitive places and cradling Shiro’s head with one hand, pushing it up into his hair. He dances his finger tips around the edges of the bandage where the stitches are underneath. Keith can already imagine the cute way Shiro will pout when they have to remove it. The adhesive’s going to take off a little of his hair along with it.   
“Thanks for being so patient with me.” Keith says before laying back down, his heart thumping as he looks at Shiro with his face flushed and his hair all messed up from Keith’s hands running through it. He looks gorgeous, backed by moonlight. Keith can’t believe this man wants him, especially after yesterday. “How’s your head?”  
“Honestly, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to get a boner because of the painkillers.” Shiro barks out a laugh as he coats his fingers in lube. “I uh… don’t think that’s a problem. I feel really good. You still with me?”  
Keith nods and opens his legs again for Shiro, an invitation. “I’m good. Just nervous for this part.”  
“It’s okay, Baby. It’s just me.” Shiro coos as he sits between Keith’s legs. “I’m gonna touch you down there, but I’m not pushing anything in yet, okay?”  
“O-Okay.” Keith swallows, keeping his eyes open, so the only image he can associate this with is Shiro. No bad memories.   
Shiro circles Keith’s hole with the tip of one slick finger, his other hand wrapping around Keith’s dick to stroke him, bring him back to where he’d been a minute ago. “Ready?”  
“Mm.” Keith sighs at the feel of Shiro’s hand. “Yeah. Do the first one.”  
Shiro dips in the tip of an index finger, just testing the waters as he carefully retracts the digit and presses back in, going just a tiny bit deeper on each motion until it’s all the way inside. “How’s that, Baby?”  
“Good.” Keith sighs. His heart rate had jumped at first, but Shiro’s voice grounds him quickly. It doesn’t hurt yet, but it does feel strange having something inside him that’s not, well, himself.   
“You’re so warm and tight, Baby.” Shiro breathes, feeling around for the spot that will make Keith moan. He works his finger in and out slowly, twisting it a little, before he makes a come hither motion that makes Keith gasp. “There?”  
“There.” Keith whimpers. “Holy shit.”  
“You’re so pretty when you’re turned on, Jesus.” Shiro grins, massaging the spot as he starts to stroke Keith a little faster.   
“Takashiiiii.” Keith whines, sweat breaking on his forehead as he feels himself heat up. He can never get the proper angle fingering himself, so Shiro is dead on. “Fuck, fuck.”  
“You ready for another one?”  
Keith just responds with an arch of his back and a needy nod, his heart pounding as he feels the press of another finger. He hisses when it first presses in and Shiro stops immediately.   
“Shh, shh, it’s just me.” Shiro coos.   
“Yeah.” Keith says to remind himself, taking a deep breath and looking at Shiro. He looks at how kind his eyes are and how cute he looks staying still to make sure Keith’s alright. “Sorry, just…”  
“It’s okay. Does it hurt?”  
“A tiny bit, but keep going.”  
“You sure?”  
“Mmhm.” Keith takes a moment to relax his muscles then motions for Shiro to continue, feeling the rest of the second finger push in.   
Once Keith stops tensing, Shiro starts to pleasure him in earnest again, massaging his prostate and twisting his fingers around to help Keith get adjusted before he repositions himself, laying between Keith’s legs with his fingers inside of him and his mouth hovering over Keith’s dick. “I’m gonna use my mouth now, okay? Don’t hold back. Let yourself come as soon as you feel it, this is just to help you relax and make you feel good.”  
Keith gives a pitiful nod, putting his hand right back into Shiro’s hair to urge him on until he starts to suck him off again. “Takashi!” He gasps, trying not to tug too hard on Shiro’s hair as he throws his legs over Shiro’s shoulders. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s so good.” He cries as Shiro pulses his fingers mercilessly inside him, fucking right against his most sensitive spot like he’s trying to memorize it’s exact location. Shiro lets Keith slide down his throat and hums around him, his free hand stroking Keith’s thigh just to be touching him.   
“Takashi.” Keith’s toes curl as he rolls his hips into Shiro. He’s so worked up from the blowjob before and all the teasing that he really is gonna come soon. Especially with Shiro’s fingers massaging his prostate like this, refusing to let up, Keith’s going to burst. He doesn’t feel a lick of pain as Shiro bobs his head and scissors his fingers, just an all encompassing heat, a tension building in the bit of his stomach.   
Shiro hollows out his cheeks and speeds his fingers up just enough to make Keith cry out with his first orgasm of the night.   
“Kashi, Kashi, fuckfuckfuck, hhh!” Keith trembles as he comes into Shiro’s mouth, clinging to him as Shiro swallows every bit of his release, his fingers still buried in Keith’s ass to keep him full, even when he comes down. “Fuck.” Keith sighs, relaxing back against the pillows. He’s grateful Shiro’s not moving his fingers. He’s too raw and oversensitive, but he doesn’t want to be empty.   
“Feel how relaxed you are, Baby? You’re doing so good, Keith.”  
“I don’t think I can form real sentences right now.” Keith mumbles, shutting his eyes as he lets his body recover from the intense pleasure. If he came like that on two of Shiro’s fingers, how will it feel to come with Shiro actually fucking him? God, he just might have a heart attack. Shiro was right though, he does feel a lot more relaxed. There’s no painful stretch as Shiro starts to move his fingers again, avoiding his prostate, just keeping Keith used to the intrusion.   
“Come here.” Shiro murmurs, keeping his fingers inside still as he lays back over Keith to kiss him.   
Keith happily wraps his arms around Shiro’s neck and basks in the feeling. It does feel more intimate, actually letting Shiro inside of him. He can already imagine how good it’ll feel to be fucked and he’s hardly nervous at all anymore. Shiro’s tongue is gentle and sweet, his free hand running up and down Keith’s side as they kiss. He can feel Shiro grinding his cock down on him ever so slightly and smiles into the kiss. Shiro must be so desperate by now.   
Keith takes a little mercy and reaches down between them, stroking Shiro in his hand as they kiss to give him a little relief. Shiro moans into his mouth as a response and Keith shivers at the sound. It’s not gonna take long for him to get hard again.   
“I love how you touch me.” Shiro whispers into Keith’s ear, kissing it before moving back to his lips. “You’re so beautiful like this.”  
“Mm, you’re one to talk.” Keith hums, propping himself up on his elbow to give Shiro a kiss on the forehead as he jerks him off over the condom. “Kinda weird rubbing your dick through this thing.”  
“Yeah?” Shiro laughs. “Let me know if you ever want me to take it off.”  
“I think we can try it raw next time.”  
“Sounds like a plan, Babe.” Shiro gives him another kiss before sliding his hand down to palm over Keith’s dick again. “Someone’s perking up again.”  
“I can’t help it.” Keith pouts. “You’re too hot and I have a short refractory period.”  
“I’m not complaining.” Shiro smiles as he runs his finger tips over the length of Keith’s cock, bringing it back to life. “Still too sensitive?” He asks as he makes the ‘come hither’ motion inside of Keith again, making him sigh and curl his toes.   
“No, it’s good again.” Keith sighs. “I… I-I think I’m ready. I want you to fuck me.”  
“Yeah?”   
Keith feels himself blush as he nods and gives Shiro one more kiss. “Let’s do it.”  
Shiro reaches for the lube again and places it in Keith’s hand, nuzzling their noses together before he pulls away, sitting back on his knees to present himself to Keith. “Do you want to slick me up?”  
Keith swallows and nods again as he pours a generous amount of lube into his hand and reaches out to spread it over Shiro’s erection. He can feel the heat radiating off of him even through the condom and his heart thumps when Shiro’s face flushes at his touch. Keith really wants to make Shiro feel good too. His stomach is turning a little, but he knows he’s ready for this. It’s Shiro.   
He hands the lube back to Shiro once he’s finished and lies back, shivering when Shiro spreads a little excess lube around his ass again and gets his fingers back in, moving them around, stroking Keith’s sensitive spot a little more to get him hard and desperate again before Shiro settles over him.   
“Are you ready, Baby?” Shiro asks, pushing the hair out of Keith’s eyes, so he can look into them properly. “It might hurt a little your first time. If you don’t like anything I’m doing, just say the word.”  
“I know.” Keith smiles, giving Shiro a little peck on the lips. His heart is racing both out of excitement and anxiety, but he knows that he wants this. “You can do it.”  
Shiro nods and reaches down, guiding himself to press the tip against Keith’s entrance and looking up for approval as he slowly pushes the tip inside.   
Keith hisses a little at first, Shiro stopping as Keith’s hands fly up to hold his shoulders.   
“Bad?”  
“N-Not that bad, just a little bit more than I’m used to.” Keith breathes, taking a few deep breaths and rolling his hips to get used to it. “Okay, a little more.”  
Shiro eases himself forward, about halfway inside, and presses his lips down Keith’s neck. “Take your time, Sweetheart. I’ve got you. You’re gonna feel so good so soon, Love.”  
Keith whimpers a little and tucks his head into Shiro’s neck. There’s a few images that are popping up, but he shakes them off, breathing in the scent of Shiro’s cologne instead, kissing his neck to remind himself who he’s with until it starts to feel more good than scary again. “Keep going.”  
Shiro obeys, pressing their foreheads together as he pushes all the way inside and stops, his breath hot and heavy against Keith’s lips. “You okay?”  
“Yeah.” Keith winces. “It… I-It’s good, you’re just…”  
“Did I do anything to upset you?”  
“No, you just have a fucking elephant dick.” Keith groans, rolling his hips to get used to the sensation. “Fuck, mm, I can feel you pressing on that fucking spot and it’s good, but you’re also fucking Andre the Giant.”  
“Do you have a thing for Andre the Giant?”  
“No, shut up.” Keith laughs, stroking one hand down Shiro’s back. “Just… keep staying still for a second. It’s a lot.”  
“Don’t rush yourself.” Shiro says, bringing one hand up to stroke Keith’s hair. “If it’s too much to take, we can always try something else.”  
“No way. I made it this far. You’re not taking my virginity without fucking me right.”  
“Fair enough, Baby.” Shiro says, his voice breathy and Keith can sense the effort it’s taking for him to stay still. Just to be a tease, Keith squeezes his muscles a little bit and delights in the whine it eases out of Shiro. He’s so cute when he’s horny. “Don’t be mean.”  
“Sorry, couldn’t help it.” Keith grins. “Try to move a little.”  
Shiro breathes a sigh of relief and backs out a bit, less than half way, before rocking back inside. He repeats the motion a few times, slow shallow thrusts that give Keith that tiny bit of friction inside he’s craving, but it’s not quite enough. It feels good though. Good enough that Keith can start to see what it’ll feel like when Shiro fucks him at a proper pace.   
“That’s good.” Keith sighs. “Keep going. Little more.”  
Shiro’s always been good at taking directions, backing himself out about halfway and starting to rock his hips a little faster, waiting until Keith whimpers for the first time to start fucking him at a decent rhythm.   
“Shiro… Shiro, fuck.” Keith starts to pant as they find a pace together, the headboard of the bed tapping lightly against the wall as Shiro’s cock fills him up over and over again. This is what he needs. Fuck, Shiro’s so big, he presses up against his prostate perfectly on every thrust and it’s even better than the fingers. “Nnn, Takashi, that’s really good.” Keith whines, his voice high pitched and breathy as he wraps his arms around Shiro’s neck to hold on tight. His dick is caught between them, rubbing up against Shiro’s abdomen and it’s so fucking good already.   
“Try this, Baby.” Shiro says, still fucking into him as he takes Keith’s thigh and hikes his leg up over his hip, tugging Keith closer, so he can go deeper.   
“Fuck!” Keith cries out, his head tipping back as Shiro pushes in even further than before. He didn’t think he’d ever like being manhandled, but with Shiro, he thinks he might love it. It felt good for Shiro to just take his body and move it into a better position.   
“Yeah? You like that?”  
“Y-Yes, fu-uck.” Keith moans, his voice bouncing with each thrust of Shiro’s hips.   
Shiro leans down to kiss him, deeper than usual, and all tongue as they moan into each other’s mouths, his hand creeping up to toy with Keith’s nipple.   
Keith’s falling apart already, his thighs quivering with overwhelming pleasure as Shiro drives into him hard enough for the mattress to squeak with every move.   
“How do you like that, Baby?” Shiro whispers against Keith’s wet lips, his face as red as Keith’s. “Tell me what you want. Tell me how to make you feel good.”  
“H-Harder.” Keith croaks. “It feels so fucking good, Shiro.”   
“Yeah?”  
Keith just whimpers and hides his face in Shiro’s neck again, clinging for dear life. “Please?” He asks in a broken voice. He’s so full, he can see his stomach bulge and he moans at just how insane the whole thing is. He’s never let anyone in like this before. He’s been so terrified of sex for so long, but now, in Shiro’s arms, it’s the best he’s ever felt. It feels liberating and he can barely form a proper sentence. He just feels Shiro’s cock rubbing up against that sweet spot inside of him over and over and over again.   
“Wrap your legs around me, Baby. Both of them.”  
Keith obeys and puts his other leg up, wrapping them around Shiro’s waist and gasping at the new sensation, his back arching up and his nails scraping down Shiro’s back as he sobs with pleasure.   
“How close are you?” Shiro huffs, sweating as he bucks up into Keith. “Fuck, I swear I usually last way longer, but you’re just so good, Keith, I-I don’t think I can-”  
“I’m close, Kashi.” Keith nearly squeaks. “Touch me. I-I’m gonna co-ome.” His voice breaks as Shiro grinds into him, his eyes rolling back. “Fuuuuuck.”  
Shiro doesn’t need to be told twice. He slides his hand between them and kisses Keith hard as he wraps his hand around his cock, stroking him fast with a slick grip, swallowing all of Keith’s moans for him as he fucks him closer to the edge.   
Keith doesn’t know if his body has ever experienced an orgasm like this before. The pleasure building inside of him feels like he’s about to experience an avalanche as Shiro builds him up closer and closer, soft little “ah” sounds falling out of his mouth, one after the other as he gets closer, so close. “Right there!” Keith pants when Shiro shifts ever so slightly and he feels his body light up. “Right there, right there, rightthererightthere fuckfuckfuck, a-ahh, Takashi!” Keith comes with a shout, clamping a hand over his mouth instinctually as he comes in thick ribbons onto Shiro’s abs, over his fist.   
Shiro is right behind him, moaning Keith’s name over and over in such a beautiful desperate tone as he fucks him deep, emptying into the condom and trembling as they hold onto each other, panting and shaking through orgasm.   
Keith’s seems to go on forever, wave after wave of pleasure washing over him, and God he didn’t even know he could come this much when he looks down and sees himself spilling the last of his load over Shiro’s hand. He’s shaking, but only from the insane pleasure his body just experienced and when he looks up at Shiro’s blissed out face and sees his soft eyes, still full of so much love and devotion, he tears up. “Shiro?” He croaks, eyes watery as he reaches up to cup Shiro’s face in his hands, letting his legs fall from around his waist.   
“Oh God, Baby, you okay?” Shiro responds immediately, eyebrows pushing together in concern.   
“Yeah.” Keith barks out a wet laugh. “I’m great, I-I just…” His heart pounds as he looks into Shiro’s eyes. “Shiro, I love you so much.”  
“Yeah?” Shiro blinks at him. “You’re not hurt?”  
“I’m sore as fuck, but I’m just… I-I can’t believe I was so scared of doing this, I’ve never felt like that, like this, I’m so… Y-You’re so…” Keith’s mouth wobbles as he pulls Shiro down into a hug. “Thank you, Shiro. Thank you so much.”  
“Why are you thanking me, Pumpkin?” Shiro laughs, kissing the top of Keith’s head. “Nothing to thank me for.”  
“I’m a crazy person when it comes to sex, I literally have accidents in my mid twenties, and you just…” Keith pulls back and sniffs. “You just keep loving me, you know? Even after I yelled at you like that, you just... “  
“I’m never going to stop loving you, Keith.” Shiro says, stroking Keith’s cheek as he presses his lips to Keith’s again. “Is that too weird to say at this point in a relationship?” He gives a nervous laugh as Keith squeezes him.   
“I love you too, Shiro.” Keith swallows as he holds him close, shutting his eyes and just relishing in the moment, in the feeling of being loved so deeply by another person for the first time. “I don’t think I could ever stop either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been bumming me out that this fic has been under performing in comparison to a lot of my other long fics, but those of you commenting on these chapters are the reason I keep writing it. Thank you!
> 
> To find chapter 6 in advance, you can look on my Twitter page @nuttinonice and give me a follow there for important fic notes and updates along with fic threads <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter!! I've been working really hard on chapter two in between other responsibilities. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @nuttinonice for important updates related to this fic and others AND if you go to my Twitter you can find out how to get access to chapters a week (sometimes more) in advance !
> 
> Comments and kudos are super appreciated and help keep me motivated to update !!


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